Messages

61

Dream Interpretation / Damaged Father's Car

« on: July 02, 2016, 06:50:09 PM »

Hello!

I meet one of my sisters, who I've been avoiding in everyday life because she's such an emotional drain on me. She looks ill and is happy to see me. I go outside. I'm sitting in my Dads car and showing some woman who has a nice vibe how to put it into reverse so we can drive off. I'm in the passenger seat. We drive a very short distance when I 'see' the outside left of the car has been scratched. I panic as I would hate for any damage to occur while we are using in my Dads car, so we stop and I get out to check. When I get out initially its just the scratches but then I look and the car is completely devastated by damage, the roof knocked in, damage everywhere, someone had scraped words I can't read on the side and the two back wheels are gone. I'm confused as to how we could have driven if the car was this damaged a few moments earlier when we took off.

I understand the car symbol when it's my car. I'm just struggling to interpret the fact it's my fathers, tho I have been using his recently. Does the dream relate to me as in my usual car dreams? or this time more specifically to my father, my relationship with my father?

In another part of that nights dreaming I am driving a car. I have a ballpoint pen on a chain, like you see in banks, the window is open and the chain part flies out the window.. I keep driving but think again and reverse doubting I'll find it but I do and I fix it back on the pen, thinking whoever owns it will be happy and it's just nice in general to take care of things. It's twilight.

62

Healing Dreams / Re: Stalker

« on: June 04, 2016, 07:41:45 PM »

I don't quite get this Tony: 'What will I gain by being upset by this dream man?'
Is there something to 'gain'?

I don't see it as an illness where people use illness to get their needs met indirectly. I'm not saying you do I just don't get what you mean.  I think it's processing experiences of being powerless,  a sort of more conscious re-living. So if I gain anything it's having the opportunity to face these powerful emotions and face past experience in a safe way.

'If you did not react what could he do? ' but I didn't - I walked away and he destroyed all my possessions with incredible violence with the threat of returning to get me next time - and then I feel did come back in the following nights dream and brutally assaulted me. Whether he's a character, a psychic energy or a part of myself..it was definitely the same energy and connected to the threat of coming back to get me next time.

63

Dream Interpretation / Re: Beat-up face

« on: May 20, 2016, 06:56:16 PM »

Thankyou Tony. I am interested in this idea of falling into looking at dreams as real life situations - or not.. It does indeed hold questions I have yet to resolve for myself..

It's certainly a question to be aware of, of falling into that assumption, that the dream is a real life situation. I am conscious of not falling into this however, as seen in my reflection on the dream 'Blood'

However the subconscious mind is well known for being the store-house of repressed memories, so to me it seems equally important not to assume that the dream is only a reflection of an inner growth process.

But as you said at the start - weigh with my life experience, which is what I add here..

In my personal case I know for a fact I suffered extreme trauma, that for specific reasons, including  blacking out, being drugged, complete repression... I can not remember and in my real life I am in a therapeutic process trying to cope with and heal that. These dreams link to known real life situations I'm afraid. Though they also blend metaphorical healing content and reflect a re-living/healing of the very real experiences..

So it is a challenge,  this weighing, to know which is which..how much of each..how to let the dreams surface and engage with them in a validating way..

Thank-you Tony, I wonder what your thoughts are on this area of dreams, the subconscience and trauma?

64

Dream Interpretation / Beat-up face

« on: May 18, 2016, 08:36:16 AM »

I am dancing with a man with blond hair and beard on the roadside by a shed, at my family home. It's the comedian Keith Lemon who I can't bear in real life, but in the dream I have none of the associations at all and I'm friendly. He gets closer and closer and kisses me, he's very passionate. I feel attracted to him. He says something like you've got to try things out, I say to him this experience is ok, because I'm exploring understanding the world through direct experience rather than thought. Then he gets into a white van and leaves, it's evening.

I go inside the house and look in the mirror and I'm horrified to see my right eye is so bruised and  swollen it's closed, then I notice my other eye is also swollen but not as black and distorted, in fact my whole face is totally beaten up and I have a red rash on my chest, I momentarily wonder at him kissing me looking like this, but mostly I'm just in shock at the state of my face and the severe damage. I'm saying beaten up as it's the only time I've seen faces look like that.

Another scene I'm outside another house with my grown-up niece, she's sleeping in an animal burrow with her feet sticking out. I notice then in a part of the garden the ground is made from Madeira cake instead of soil, it looks golden and perfectly baked I taste a bit. It starts to rain. I take out an umbrella, a younger neice arrives all happy and excited as she always is.

I am inside in the family home kitchen, this older niece is sitting at the table crying because she's missing her granny, my mother, which shocks me really; I can't say anything, because I don't miss her at all and it won't be possible to explain to my neice, nor do I want to, how badly she treated me..  So I just comfort her for her own pain..

*edit - one thought I have.. given I dreamt of the stalker the previous night who 'would return'..
..that this was an example of my inability to recognise dangerous men, so in the dream I am not tapping in to my knowledge that I dislike and distrust this man. I believe I am exploring but he's really calling the shots, not me.
I end up with a severe beating. I know it could be interpreted on many different levels, but as the stalker dream was so powerful, it doesn't seem too much of a stretch to think this man might have been the return he promised..

65

Healing Dreams / Stalker

« on: May 17, 2016, 10:18:12 AM »

I asked for a healing dream..

A man pulls up aggressively in a black sports car with black windows. I am at a retreat centre. Somehow he breaks into my room. There's a real dry emotionless quality to him. He sits on a table challenging me to do something. I ask him to leave, he is really smug and the more upset or scared I get the more he enjoys it. I start shouting saying I'll call the police, he laughs he's loving my distress. I decide to leave and not call the police to call his bluff. I go to a music concert - while there I panic realising he could find my diaries and read how I try to heal and protect myself and use that to attack me more effectively. I run back, I ask a friend to come but he's so passive he'll be useless, then he turns into another friend who is at least tall and burly, he turns into a black haired girl. I get back and my room has been utterly and completely ransacked, I don't recognise anything as everything is so broken - the sheer violence is still hanging in the air and effects me deeply, the message is he'll be back for me next time. I rush around looking for the diaries, it's not clear if I find them. Then I collapse on my knees, letting out huge cries of despair/grief/overwhelm..
(I see this as a healing aspect of the dream..)

Next day I go into the kitchen of the main house and  over hear the black haired girl who came to help say how she was hoping something would 'happen' between us that's why she really came along..  I feel so angry, so sick of being a sexual object, not even women are safe, always wanting something from me.. I plug my phone in to charge under the kitchen table beside someone else's and walk off quietly so she doesn't know I've heard, relieved at least I know her true intentions..

*oh yes.. then I went back and was standing outside my room, looking at the landscape pondering, when a herd of cows and their calves came, a black calf came and nuzzled me, I petted it, but was aware of how unlike a dog it was, so strong and that I better watch my toes as it moved about, it could even knock me over.

66

Healing Dreams / Re: Blood

« on: May 17, 2016, 09:22:47 AM »

Thanks so much Tony, esp for sharing your experience. It really helps.

This dream kept sitting in my mind. Initially I thought yes the woman shes closed off she needs to open up to love. But then I looked at the dynamic again here's a woman bleeding to death outside a hospital - the man instead of calling a doctor/stopping the bleeding/bringing her in to the hospital - waxes lyrical about his love for her..
It's like he's so in love with the image of himself saying 'I love you' he'll let her die..

I realise now I've been manipulated a lot like this in the past - men controlling and oppressing me with  'words of love'  .. while energetically  they are actually just sucking me dry of life and of independence and joy.

So looking at him as a part of myself - it's that I'm not taking my wounding seriously enough, the gravity and depth of my trauma, I pay lip service to 'looking after myself' but it's just words. There is a part of me in trouble and I need to address that seriously.

67

Dream Interpretation / Buddha Heads

« on: May 15, 2016, 04:18:30 PM »

I am driving a car, I take a route through mountains, I have two passengers, I'm chatting telling them I know it's very steep but I've come this way once before. Then the car disappears we are walking, I'm leading, along the side of a deep ravine and its night and dark now. The rocks shift suddenly, it's scary, everything becomes steeper, I slip but I'm not afraid as I have control, I slow the movement it's a bit like flying. I call back to the others that I will decend and see if there is another way out as the route over the top is now out of our reach. At the bottom huge stone statue heads of Buddha lie without bodies, sort of scattered, abandoned, but deeply peaceful.. There is a fresh green growth of spring plants on the ground. It's also a little brighter here.

 I exit the ravine at the northerly end, the direction we're going, and pass through a garden with neat pebble paths and exit into a warm bright sunny afternoon. I try to speak to a friendly man on a bike, but it seems I'm in a foreign country as he cant understand me. Then a man approaches and asks me am I Dr. West...(something)? I say yes, he seems to be expecting me, I say we are 36 or there are 36 more behind me.. I think we are scientists, possibly crossing a border. I go back to get my two companions,  I call out the name 'Subha' over and over.. No reply. They have disappeared.

(*remembered more. In brief- then a woman I know drinking gin under lilac laburnum..I try keep a boundary with her as she's pushy, I leave quite quickly. A girl shows me around an apartment she's taking that hasn't been lived in in a long time, it's dark, a strong musty smell, I go into a room, a tatty single bed, I'm told the police are coming soon to collect evidence before the girl can move in. The house was used to abuse women. On the floor in a kitchen, possibly somewhere else, a weird ginger cat with splayed legs, rigid it can't really walk, wearing a pink outfit with a hood, a bit like a babygro/dolls clothes. I pull the hood so it can see out and breathe.)

I spent quite a while googling symbology of stone statue, head etc..
Only by accident did I discover that it was Buddha's Birthday May 14th the day I had the dream!

 I also discovered that Subha is actually a name, and is also the name of an early Buddhist nun who reached enlightenment only eight days after ordination. It also means luminous or bright. I definitely didn't know either connection before.

The dream is one of few where I'm not being bullied or oppressed in some way. Perhaps the empowerment within the dream world is beginning.

68

Questions about dreams / Re: Quantity

« on: May 15, 2016, 11:24:09 AM »

So what I understand from this, is the goal is quite literally awareness - that is the 'direct experience' of the self. That example of consciousness/unconscious awareness from Jung is fascinating.

Thankyou

Oh I had a dream that might relate I'll add it shortly

69

Questions about dreams / Re: Quantity

« on: May 13, 2016, 09:08:07 AM »

Thank-you very much Tony,

Emm do I live in and through my thoughts versus direct experience?
 I definitely have done a lot of thinking, as a form of trying to keep safe. 

I'm not sure I understand 'direct experience', if life is my 'externalised energies'.. Is it meeting those energies honestly, emotionally..? Can the dreamer themselves have the two options of thinking or experiencing, to different degrees, within the dream world?

I think deep relaxation should make a difference.

And maybe I just need to accept that these energies are the way they need to be and that my job is to keep letting them surface. And that with time they will become less jarring and overwhelming. And that I will become more empowered in my dreams and therefore less tossed about on their seas?

70

Healing Dreams / Blood

« on: May 12, 2016, 10:19:17 AM »

I have started to ask for healing dreams.. I've suffered extreme tiredness for years now. Though I have been much better, it means I am unable to plan for the future.

Dream excerpt:
There's a woman outside what I think may be a hospital, lying on the pavement. She's very pale, with neat glossy bobbed hair. A man who loves her is with her, holding her. She's bleeding from somewhere. He's kissing her and his face is covered in her blood. He's saying  something like, let me love you or dedicate myself to you. She isn't responsive, she's ill, she reaches out a hand and steadies herself on a small stone pillar, it looks like a small headstone.

71

Dream Interpretation / Hawk

« on: May 10, 2016, 02:17:34 PM »

Extract:

I'm at a restaurant, odd looking young men with beards and strange costumes eat at the next table. One sings a medieval tune in falsetto and it's just stunning, another guy sings then, but he's not very good.

I'm in a huge cathedral.. some of the arches on the left open on to the outside, I see a hawk smoothly soaring and then it flies into the cathedral. I see a brown metallic looking insect about 3 inches long on the shoulder/collar of a man in front of me who is facing me, I don't see him clearly. The hawk lands on the man and with great precision grabs the insect in its beak. I am just so impressed and find the moment very beautiful, the way this bird is so masterful. Then the hawk flies back out of the cathedral.  Then a very large robin about 8-10 inches and rather portly is hovering mid-air among us as we stand there, not needing to fly, I say something about it loving the attention, and just how gregarious robins are, loving company. The bird is very happy though I think of it as being a bit shallow or bonkers

Im outside near a lake. A 'violin master' appears, he's a dark mysterious figure and throws a black violin case into the lake. I warn it's probably just a cheap instrument as I don't want my violinist friend being lured in to rescue it. Then I'm holding the bow, it's short, looks cheap. It seems I was right. There may have been an attached offer..'go get the violin and I will give you musical power, or prove to me you are serious about music' but really it's a ploy.

The figure feels like a trickster, want to cause problems. Uses something you care about and want to protect, to lure you into danger. Yet dressing in a long black gown as he does, isn't exactly a good disguise??! 

and loads of other scenes

72

Questions about dreams / Quantity

« on: May 10, 2016, 02:03:05 PM »

Sometimes I wake up and just feel so annoyed.. Can't my subconscious be more concise?

Dream after dream after dream, mundane, hectic, profound, powerful..what a torrent.. but not very selective.

So I pick out the most powerful moment and focus on that. Still I find the sheer busyness, scene after scene, a bit too much..

73

Dream Interpretation / Re: Pterodactyls

« on: May 10, 2016, 01:16:03 PM »

Very inspiring...Thank-you Tony.

..well I've once been close to being Joan of Arc.
As a child in primary school I was offered the lead role in the school play performing as Joan of Arc but I gave it to a girl who I heard really wanted it, to be kind, to self-sacrifice.  In retrospect, by stepping aside I was just following the programming I'd received to always put myself last, even if that meant compromising my sense of what was 'true' or 'right' for a moment or situation.

In the Native American Indian dream, I was definitely a bit passive, a 'group member' it didn't occur to me to be a leader. I was a man in my 30s/40s.. we all had this same energy, in our buckskin clothes, we didn't have much fight or energy, it was like our society had lost its vigor. The knives were butter knives, like we had become too domestic, not the knives of warriors.

So somehow in my dreams, in my life..I need to step into power?

74

Dream Interpretation / Re: Pterodactyls

« on: May 09, 2016, 04:48:41 PM »

Last night another dream on a mountain top. This time I am a Native American Indian, with lots of others, we have just fled to the mountain top. A senior scout comes back and is silent. That worries me, I go look myself and a huge army of British soldiers in dark blue uniforms, crisp, new, in perfect formation is at the other side. Some young men with me, throw a few kitchen knives down at them, with limp wrists, listlessly, it's all over, I go back and say nothing, if we are to be slaughtered, better that it happen without forewarning.

I wonder is the mountain top setting related between the two dreams? It was very similar.

75

Dream Interpretation / Re: Pterodactyls

« on: May 09, 2016, 04:43:41 PM »

Thankyou!

..for the reminder on the amazing work of Blake, I must find more.

'Nothing we sense in the world is directly known..' Wow

Cross - I am natural order, harmony. I am seeing this world on earth. Action. I'm alive.
Circle - I am natural order, harmony, receptivity. I am wonder. I'm alive.
Makes me think of the male and female and the scientific symbols for them.

Pterodactyl - I am freedom from the rational. I am imagination. Power.