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Messages - Totodoodle

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Hello, I'm completely new to this forum. I'm someone who has always experienced frequently graphic, vivid dreams. Many are disturbing and or obscure. Therapy has never helped me understand them better. I mostly guess the meanings, or ignore them. I've even practiced lucid dreaming before to help me better understand my subconscious. If someone is willing to read through my most recent dream, and help me better understand the meaning, I would be supremely grateful.

I'm 22 years old, and female by the way.

I'm going to nutshell this dream as best as I can, and I sincerely apologize for any graphic content. I'm honestly really embarrassed/scared by the subject matter.

In this most recent dream, I was abducted by aliens onto some form of sterile space-craft. Everything was overly clean and metallic, but I was allowed to free-roam. I never actually saw the aliens. After wandering around, I met a girl about my age. She was no one I knew in real life. She looked much different than me. While I am short, curvy, and dark haired (always wearing it loose, I never wear it up.), she was lean, tall, and blonde, with her hair in a pony tail, which I can't make to save my life. This girl and I talked for awhile, I don't know what we were talking about. I think we probably spoke calmly about being terrified that we were on this space ship. She informed me that she had been there for a little longer then I had. She proceeded to tell me of the resident alien-creatures nature. She told me that they mutilated her genitals, and that the only distinguishable part left, was her labia. Everything else was purely skin, where the parts were. She actually revealed herself to me, opening herself up. It looked like what she described, essentially just skin, with more skin fading into itself, where it should meet the clitoris and vaginal opening.

This terrified me. I woke myself up catching vomit in my mouth. Later after cleaning myself up, I went back to sleep. This dream continued, only it expanded. The ship crashed into the ground, and an opening was created. I was preparing to walk off the ship, and I offered to travel off with this nameless/castrated girl, but she said she needed to stay, she had been here to long to leave.

I remorsefully walked off into an earth that I didn't know. It was some form of post-apocalyptic. Society as far as I could tell, still remained, but was existing with much fewer people. Almost everyone was mutated graphically. I remember walking by a teenage-looking boy, around 15 or so. He was injured, wearing tattered clothing. His skin was burned, and he was stumbling around holding his head. He looked like he was in pain. His face was this inverted bowl-shaped structure with insect mandibles in the center. The bowl could rotate, however the mandibles would not, they would only wiggle and open and close. When the bowl would rotate, it would expose a single window-like eye that would rotate along with the bowl. It was shaped like a tiny submarine hole. The eye would shine with a bright light, and show the inside of his face, which looked like an old-fashion black-and-white movie playing, but only on the left inside of his face. When the eye would rotate over the movie, it would project it outward, like a projector at a movie theater, However when you looked at the movie from the inside of his face, it was upside down. It also flickered wildly, like a strobe-light. The movie audio sounded like painful screaming, muffled by classical music.

A man showed himself, and he was apparently my friend. He was no one I knew in real life. One side of his face was horribly disfigured. He had a hole where his left eye should have been, and his ear on that side, was also just a hole.

This didn't seem to bother him, he acted like it had been this way for decades, even though the apocalypse that caused the mutation had been fairly recent.

He said "don't worry about me, I get special powers from my disfigurement". Then suddenly I could see through his eyes. I looked at the world around me, and I looked upon a normal, non-mutated man. Through this person's eyes, one eye saw this human as.. well, a human. The left side could in fact see, but it saw him as a horrible monster. This creature with bulging eyes, and a horse-skull-like mouth. He had what looked like infant fingers running out of his mouth, squirming fanatically like maggots each time he would speak. And while I could tell what he was really saying through the right ear, he was asking me what I could see through my friend's eyes, in the left ear, he was joyfully singing a song in a child's voice, that was somehow harmonized with several other child's voices. I think the lyrics were something overly-whimsical. Something like "Lets all go play outside today. The sun is shining bright. The jungle gym calls my name today, I'm going to catch frogs, and live in the sun." (Pardon me for the odd song. I really don't remember the lyrics to well. In the dream, I could have sworn it rhymed.) These horrific images and sounds overlapped with the reality of what this man I was looking at, actually looked like.

I cringed, and the imaged faded, revealing the man as what he was, just a man. My friend with the special powers laughed at my reaction, stating that's what his reality is like, and he has grown used to it and tunes out the extra noise, not being specific as to what that meant. And then I woke up.

Somebody help. I have no idea what any of this means.

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