Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Show Posts

This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.

Messages - helenmelon

Pages: [1]
General Discussion / Water - in waking life
« on: December 16, 2018, 10:36:10 AM »
I've read that in most dreams water indicates emotions, moods and flow of feeling energy.  How does water relate to waking life?

A few weeks ago, while at work, I heard and looked up to find water from the floor above our office hitting down on the ceiling boards above my desk. I jumped away with my laptop.  That same day in an afternoon meeting a got a call from my building to supervisor to say my flat was flooding.  A water tank in my ceiling overflowed and flooded everything. At the time I had been going through a lot, struggling and feeling unsupported at work, feeling alone and without support in my personal life. I had been pushed to my limits caring for my father and seeing to his needs. I was also feeling agitated with the carer we employed who was supposed to alleviate the pressure, but seemed to add to it.  I'm also been struggling with being single and childless at the age of 36 while my friends have all moved along.

Is this just a coincidence? Or does this water have the same meaning as if I had dreamt it?

General Discussion / Re: Caring for elderly parent
« on: September 11, 2018, 06:39:56 PM »
How does one let go? How does one stop trying to lead that damn horse to water?  When does one walk away?

I realised recently that my father has no interest in his children.  He actually has no interest, can you believe that? But it's true. He's not a bad man, he would never harm a fly. But he is disinterested. His kids are actually a nuisance to him. I think we always have been. He didn't have connection with us as children and as adults we are a nuisance trying to get him out of the rehabilitation / recovery centre.

I have been hanging around all my life wanting the approval of my father. Needing him to give me direction. But now at the age of 36 I get it, I will never get that from him. Once a therapist said to me "what you are looking for you won't find there" and it rings home even more true now than ever. My father was never a father, he simply put food on the table.  He had no interest in us and still doesn't. And even though I no this and I know I need to walk away ... it is so very hard to learn to let go and lead ones own life.

I'm still just baffling around in the dark at 36 years old not knowing what to do with myself. And I see I am wasting more time on my dad, someone who actually just doesn't care not because he's bad but because I think he just doesn't know how.

Wow Tony, your piece about having a "problem" as a way of "defence". Very interesting.

General Discussion / Caring for elderly parent
« on: September 05, 2018, 06:51:30 PM »
Hi - My father is 82 years old. Ever since my mother passed away 5 years ago he has lost all interest in living. He takes no interest in his basic cleanliness and is just disconnected from the world. He had been suffering from stomach cramps and constipation but would not let anyone take him to see a doctor. One night 3 months ago he was vomiting so violently he was admitted to hospital. It turned out he had a bowel blockage and had we not admitted him to hospital he could have died.  It's been more than three months since that night. He was in hospital for almost two months and then moved to a rehabilitation care place. I know he is capable of walking more than he is willing, but he just doesn't even try unless one of us children really insist when we visit. He won't even walk to the toilet which is 3 meters away from his bed. He rather choses to lie in adult diapers in a pee soaked bed. He looks like a homeless person, kind of did his whole life. I recently arrange with a friend to have a barber go there and trim his beard and give him a haircut. I also arranged tickets for him and his sister and brother in law to go watch a show at they love at the local cinema.  I managed to get my dad dressed and even got shoes on him as he wanted to go in his slippers. I had a wheel chair in my car in case we needed it, but he didn't he managed to walk from the car park in the mall to the cinema, aided by my sister and I. He makes no decisions. My mother always did. It's been so difficult planning what to do with him as he is playing the victim. I know he is scared, he is like a frightened little boy. My mother was the strong one, she died from cancer, but she fought to the end, I remember she would race with her walker in the hospital right up until the very end, trying to get stronger and run away from the physio. My dad has just given up.  He has zero interest. And it's just so incredibly hard busting my butt trying to do nice things for him. The above being an example. And taking him the Sunday paper. And having booked another concert to take him to. And managing all his admin. I took him to the house one Saturday back just so he could have a look and see how he felt being there.  My sister made lunch for all of us. But he is this helpless old man.  And what sucks the most is it's self inflicted. It makes me so angry. And I don't want to visit him in that place I hate going there, even though it's literally next door to where I live. I hate the smell. I hate that he is always just lying in bed when I get there. And he does not need to be.  I also feel guilty for example I was very snappy at him last night, but it's just too much now.

Pages: [1]