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Topics - Christine

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Dream Interpretation / Plane/Angel
« on: September 17, 2015, 12:27:43 PM »
I see a male and female in a car driving on the right side of a river.  Everything is light colored and maybe a little greyish.  He is driving.  They are heading toward a bridge up ahead on the left.  Over the bridge on the other side of the river is a town or city.  The buildings are not hugely tall...like NYC...but short.  Over the city is a huge white airplane.  It looks more like a blimp, balloon or a cloud in that it is just a shape.

Next I see a Facebook post...maybe?...with a picture.  In the picture a white angel is standing next to someone sitting in a church pew.  The church and pew is dark and black.  The person sitting is white too.  The angel has it's right hand on the left shoulder of the person.  It is a beautiful image and very sad to me.

Underneath the picture is some black lettering...a list of numbered sins maybe...or a poem.

Dream Interpretation / Two Black Bodies
« on: September 15, 2015, 10:14:55 AM »
This was an image that almost looked like a statue.  Two black bodies, one facing left, one facing right.  The skin and flesh look like marble. They are each bent over backwards.  Their hands and feet are joined  In the middle of the space their bodies are making is the shape of an egg.  The one on the left might be female.

This feels Jungian.  Maybe the anima and animus.  Possession maybe.

Dream Interpretation / Bridge/Stadium
« on: September 07, 2015, 10:40:48 PM »
I am looking down at a suspension bridge, like the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, California.  It is night and everything is pretty much black.  In the middle of the bridge is a large oval, navy blue stadium.  It is shaped like the coliseum in Rome.  The shape also reminds me of a large mouth. There seem to be white lights on inside the stadium or maybe people in white clothes.

The coliseum...I had a vision while half asleep a few weeks ago....I saw a girl, all navy blue, enclosed in a shark cage being lowered into a pool with a lion.

Dream Interpretation / Work/Gender/Power
« on: September 01, 2015, 08:29:12 AM »
I am in a dark office of a bank.  I am sitting in the customers seat and no one is sitting in the seat across from me.  A tall dark man comes in and leaves a thick commercial loan folder on my desk.  He asks "can you do this?"  It almost sounds like a challenge or a dare.  I open it and see that their are tax returns for several related companies.  Immediately I want to make sure that the liens the bank has on the assets collateralizing the loan are on each of the companies, and not just the parent company.  I look at the legal lien filings and they are blank...they are obviously inadequate. There is no collateral.  Inter - company accounts receivable are also not valid collateral and lots of companies have fraudulently borrowed money from banks using them as such.  On top of the legal lien filing are the names of companies written in blue ink in all capital letters.  Someone is trying to cover up the banks mistake but of course it does not.

I walk out of the office and there is a long table with white women all dressed in white sitting around it.  I walk by them and one of them says...can you come out here (out of the office) at 2pm?...two of the women will be gone i assume and they want me to help cover the phones.  I think pull a chair away from their table and put it on the other side of the room.  I go to an area next to the women...there are two microfiche machines and two plastic white chairs in front of them with white index cards/black lettering taped on the back of the chair.

This feels like issues I have had at work that relate to gender and power?  or status and ego?

I enjoyed the challenges that men gave me at work.  Doing the analysis and discovery.  However what I found did not always show the other employees in their best light or the banks procedures and policies.  I believe sometimes my work, and maybe my way of communicating, expecting not to be treated as a woman, was threatening to men on my level and above.  I felt I was not welcomed by the men and did not fit in with them.

Most of the women I worked with were clerical staff and they saw me as one of them, someone who should answer the phones and serve the men.  I did cover the phones when I worked with them to help them out, even though none of the men on my level were asked or expected to do so.  I did not feel welcomed or that I fit in with them either.

I think I have always been pretty lonely in my professional life.

I am not sure what the microfiche machines mean, except that they are/were an old fashioned way of doing research before computers and databases were invented.  I last used them in the mid 1980's.

General Discussion / I Had Too Much To Dream Last Night
« on: August 18, 2015, 03:10:51 PM »
I just had to add that to our collection of posts! 

Dream Interpretation / Dream and Real Life
« on: August 16, 2015, 06:17:12 AM »
I am driving a big black American muscle car, like a Mustang, Dodge Challenger or Roadrunner.  I think I am all black, I have a black passenger and maybe black people in the back seat.  I mean black hair, skin and clothes.  It is really dark out, maybe raining, wipers are slow.  I an driving down a street of crowded houses and cars parked on both sides of the road.  It is so black out the cars and houses are reflecting at their lightest a navy blue tinge.  I sense another car or cars behind me and I put on my right blinker and slow down looking for a place to park.

Next I am at a police station looking at a line up.  Everything is white.  A white man comes in and I see him and I see who it is.

Next I am in the back of the car.  Someone else is driving, two people in the front seat, in the back three people are holding me down.  I am screaming "I know who raped me it was my brother and I am going to kill him."  I am thrashing and fighting.  My teeth are sharp and I am biting the clothes and flesh of someone trying to hold me down.  I am pretty sure it is my brother.

I woke up feeling very angry...ravenous...although I know I can't stuff this down any more.

Dreamhawk site feedback and suggestions / Two Technical Suggestions
« on: August 07, 2015, 04:38:35 PM »
1)  I would love a box to check when I post a dream that says "Please send me an e-mail when there has been a reply to the post."  I think it would encourage more communication between members.

2)  I would also love the ability to pause while I am writing a post to come back to it later in the day, perhaps, without making it public yet.

Dream Interpretation / Three Clues
« on: August 07, 2015, 03:28:57 AM »
First Dream - I go into a bank and step up to the teller's station.  It is taller than me and a tall darkish greyish man is behind the counter.  I feel angry because he will not give me any quarters and he looks behind him at another man and teller window which is higher than him.  He looks up at that man and that man shakes his head no.  I say "I feel angry I do not understand why you are not giving me what I want."

I leave and walk into what looks like a store.  A dark, black woman at a desk gives me a pin of a black crescent moon and a black cat.  I take it in my right hand and walk away.

Second Dream -  I am walking down a street past a bank that is all white, stone colored marble maybe with steps and layers.  Next I am looking in a store window.  It was formerly a fine jewelry store and now there are many beauty products in the window.  The stuff inside the jars and bottles is all white colored.  Even though the bank and the beauty store look clean and white and pure on the outside, I know and I feel the color and that appearance is an illusion.

Third Dream - I am walking on a read out of a town or city.  There are other people walking ahead of me and behind me, but far enough away from me that I have enough space.  Suddenly these huge balls or orbs of white light are launched into the air and coming toward me.  Some are smaller and shoot past me.  Some are large and heavier and drop splat in front of me.  It is amusing and fascinating.  Two grey women come up to me.  They are happy and their arms are around one another's shoulders.

Next I am approaching some sort of seminar, as an attendee. I am bringing my purse and some heavy books with me.  I have so many books that I have to put some on the desktop behind me, in order to sit in the seat in front of me.  I do not know what the seminar is about, but there are a lot of women and men there my age.  They look real...flesh colored...with sort of midwest casual clothes.  Not professional clothes, bit not untidy either.  I am wearing the same kind of clothes.

They start talking about an arts center, about creating one in the community.  I am thinking, but not saying, that the county government could approve a 1% addition to the sales tax to fund it in perpetuity.  It seems the people are interested in finding a leader.  I hear in my head "Do you want the job?".  I stand up and start speaking.  Everyone is looking at me and paying attention.  I am not uncomfortable.  But I do notice behind me is one of those room dividers.  I can no longer see the desk where I left my books.  The divider is decorated as if it is the front of a house.  I talk about how much I have learned about communication and processing and the importance of an arts education.  I say I know I am not very tall, in fact I cannot even see above the divider behind me, and I start talking about the long term and short term goals I would have for the center.

(This is most of what I remember from the dreams.  I found out today some friends of mine...their 22 year old son was shot and killed by police.  He was such a good, young man whose experiment taking LSD went horribly wrong.  So my brain is a little scattered today.  One part of the dream I can not fit in, I am looking through storage bins of children's clothing from all different ages.  They look like boys clothes.  I feel sad, because I do not recognize whose clothes they are...they must belong to someone else...or maybe I was expected to act more like a boy.  Someone puts out an olive green army jacket.  "That is my father's" I say.)   

Dream Interpretation / Desk and Office
« on: August 05, 2015, 12:41:18 AM »
I am looking at a mans flesh colored head.  It looks like my last boyfriend or even my brother.  His head is turned to his right and I see his left temple.  There are 3 red wounds or scabs in the shape of a right parenthesis and to the left a larger red wound or scab.

In some sort of dark laboratory.  There are tall black oxygen tanks.  One of them is labeled 71.  I hold a glass of some liquid the to tank and squeeze a dropper of something into it and it dissolves.

Next I am in an office.  The desk is sort of in the middle and not against any of the walls. There are all these giant overgrown plants in pots on the floor, and some smaller plants too, across from where I sit at the desk.  They look like they have been pushed out of the way.  I notice a large window to the left.   The desk is actually the desk my father gave me.  It was a big silver metal desk that he used in the newsroom of the newspaper he worked for.  The top of the desk is pretty clean of clutter.  There is nothing in the drawers and I notice the bottom left hand drawer is closed and I do not open it. 

Underneath the desk on the right are big purple shopping bags full of newspaper and magazine clippings and notes.  The big purple bags are from a fine jewelry store I used to work at in my 20's.  In reality I tend to save what is in the bags and purge it on a regular basis.  I remove some of the bags and put them in a dark closet.  In the closet I also notice plants in the dark and a cat litter box with excrement in it.

I go back to my office.  A tall grey man walks by and says "You are still not doing the work."

Dream Interpretation / Getting Close to Something
« on: August 02, 2015, 03:56:54 PM »
I am in a church or in a place where weddings take place.  There is a big wedding party, women dressed in all white and men dressed in all grey.  A grey man comes up to me and says "Are we going to do this or not?"  I think I am supposed to be the one getting married.   I go upstairs to the balcony and look down.  On my left is a girl about 6 years old, wearing an emerald green (reminds me of the Wizard of Oz and the man behind the curtain) colored satin dress and the same colored ribbon in her hair.  She has long dark hair.  I look down on the ceremony and watch the attendants make their way to the alter and line up.  They are all looking at each other.

(If you watch or remember The Games of Thrones last season, Arya, a young tomboyish girl with short dark hair, was in training at the House of Black and White.  The following is a description of the house and then I will get back to my dream.

"The House of Black and White. This is where you'll find the man you seek."
―Ternesio Terys to Arya Stark[src]

The man Arya seeks will train her to be a warrior.

The House of Black and White is a temple in Braavos dedicated to the Many-Faced God. It also serves as the headquarters of the guild of assassins known as the Faceless Men. It sits alone on a small island in the lagoon of Braavos. Although can be reached by boat or bridge from other locations in the city, the island is usually deserted.

The interior of the House features a central sanctuary with a large pool in the center. The water filling the pool is poisoned, and is given out to those who are suffering and come to the temple to seek the release of death.
The sanctuary is lined with statues of many gods from many different faiths, from across both Essos and Westeros.

Specifically they are gods that represent death and the unknown, such as the Stranger from the Faith of the Seven. The Faceless Men believe that all of these death gods are really one god who has revealed Himself to humanity in different ways: the Many Faced God of Death.[1]

Statues of deities represented in the sanctuary include:
The Stranger from the Faith of the Seven
A weirwood face, of the kind carved into heart trees to honor the Old Gods of the Forest
The Drowned God of the Iron Islands
The fiery heart of the Lord of Light
The Black Goat of Qohor
The Lion of Night from Yi Ti
The Weeping Woman of Lys
When first entering the House of Black and White, Arya Stark notes the statue of a marble woman, 12 feet tall (3,66 meters). Real tears are trickling from the eyes, filling the bowl the woman cradled in her arms. The statue of a man with a lion's head stands nearby.  The latter is The Lion of Night.

(It is odd that I had that dream about a similar stone statue recently.  And that my father used to call everyone "the Lion Hearted."  He was much more lion headed than he was lion hearted.)

Hall of Faces Edit
The deepest level of the House of Black and White is the Hall of Faces, an enormous vault with stone pillars, where the faces of the hundreds who die in the House of Black and White are kept to be employed as the basis for the face-changing abilities of the Faceless Men.)

I am sitting on the edge of the concrete pool.  A tall thin woman appears and sits next to me.  She is gold or beige, it is hard to tell.  She is not wearing glasses, has a longish, sad face and  almost has a man's body.  She starts to sob and takes my left hand in hers.

She says "I married a man I did not even want.  In the backyard they said that he had to go after someone younger, as someone his own age would never want him.  That was me."

Dream Interpretation / Ouroboros
« on: July 21, 2015, 10:56:01 AM »
Part of my dream last night was I was crawling down from a tall stone statue of a woman that had collapsed and folded on itself.  Breasts folded over thighs a face sticking out of the pile big black lips.  When I got to the bottom and the ground I said "I bit it."

For some reason I associate biting with the ouroborus, biting the tail of my evil that is chasing me. Or it might be biting my tongue, which I did with someone during the day of the dream.

I think it has to do with the following.  In order to survive my family of origin, when I felt threatened I said nothing and did nothing.  I was terrified, frozen, paralyzed.  There were times of course when I said and did something and was punished for it.  I often revert back to this when I feel afraid.  Sometimes I say nothing and do nothing on purpose to piss people off.  Sometimes I am terrified of what I will say or do and how others might react.  I feel sort of possessed by the negative anima and animus.  Stuck.

General Discussion / Amazon Kindle Books
« on: July 12, 2015, 12:10:24 PM »

Thank you for making your books available in the Amazon Kindle version!



Dream Interpretation / Why Do You Want Me?
« on: June 20, 2015, 12:02:59 PM »
Sitting at a round table a light colored light dressed woman sitting or standing on my left.  I am eating ice cream in a bowl, I stand up and take it with me watching her face as I leave.

I meet a man outside.  We agree to meet at a hotel later.  Later I go to the hotel.  I put my purse in what looks like a gym locker.  I then open the door to the room,  He is standing there facing another woman who is standing facing him.  They are both light colored bodies.They are not having sex, but there is obviously some sort of intimacy between them.

He comes to the door and looks at me.  He is tall and dark.

Next we are in some sort of office space.  There are tall light colored counters that we are in between.  I am naked from the waist up.  He is standing in front of me and he grabs my breasts.

In my head, I hear this bellowing question "Why Do You Want Me?"  The voice sounds male.  Maybe it is the male part of me questioning him.

Dream Interpretation / Soldier
« on: June 15, 2015, 08:12:00 AM »
In a dark room, I see a dark wall and a flat magazine rack hanging on it. I pull the one magazine out, it has a dark cover.  I open it and see white pages and black horizontal lines. but cannot see any letters, words or writing.  In the back of the magazine are colored photographs or pictures...I see indigo blue shapes and dark mustard brown colored shapes.  It almost looks like my shoulders or other parts...the blue and brown the fabric from two shirts in particular I have.

Next I am in some sort of classroom maybe with carrel desks.  Someone says "Here" and put on one of the desks a book or booklet.  I sit down in the carrel and open the book.  Inside are different colored pages with fill in the blank spaces for handwriting.  No black lines.  I close the book and look at the cover.  It is a white book with a coloring picture on the front (black outline of a design).  A few of the shapes, flowers maybe, are colored in...but most of it is blank.  In the middle of the design is a white rectangle...almost like a label...and the word written "SOLDIER"  all capital letters.  I have read the description of soldier on the site...still mulling this one over.

There is a young woman I am in a talk therapy group with.  She recently survived a sexual assault and her birthday is coming up.  I was thinking of buying her an adult coloring book and a set of gel pens, but it seems too extravagant and/or childish to buy for myself.  I think of someone giving them to me, as a gift, and I feel like I want to cry.

I am also struck by how similar the sound of shoulder is similar to soldier.  My father was also a soldier.  At 18 he was a Lieutenant Commander in the Air Force.  In WWII he was shot down, injured in the fire in the plane and taken POW in Germany.  He always said that he and the German were walking toward the concentration camp when word that the war had ended somehow reached them.  He said the German shook his hand and pointed him in the direction they had come from.  I am not so sure if that story was completely true.  It might have been worse.  I am sure he had PTSD when he came home from the war.  It seemed like every conflict was a black or white decision for him and yes that is how he judged himself.

Dream Interpretation / Why Should I?
« on: June 04, 2015, 03:29:46 AM »
I heard a voice in a dream that said "the house is in the kitchen" and since then have had several dreams taking place in one.

I am in my parents kitchen.  There is a rectangular table...grey man sitting on the left hand side...sitting and doing nothing.  There is a grey girl who is getting something to eat by herself before she goes off to school.  I think she is getting cereal.  I am seriously concerned that she may not have enough to eat.

(I used to pass out all the time in the am when I was little...at school, at events, at church.  I do not remember why).

On the table directly in front of me is a long john plain donut w/glaze on top.  I cut it into bite sized pieces with a butter knife, which is safe for kids to use.  I push the pieces to the left as I cut.  I glance at her and she is looking at the man and saying something to him.

I feel hurt, upset with her and say "Why am I doing this when you are not paying attention (she is not looking at me or what I am doing) and you are talking to someone else?"  I put down the knife, grab my stack of grey papers (for work/) and walk out of the kitchen.

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