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« on: September 25, 2011, 07:54:58 PM »
Thank you Tony...tremendously helpful.
I hope you don't mind my noting a dream I had the other night...it seems somewhat related.
I walked up to a little boy and it was my son, who is now 13. He did not look at me or speak...in real life he has autism. He seemed to smile and I hugged him although he did not hug back. He gave me his suitcase and it had his name tag on it.
I realized today that I also share some of his "autistic" characteristics...another dream I had about him (yesterday)was I was in my parents house...managing my fears in relationships between other people...making sure every one else got what they needed...they were all dark in the dream...so was I...I went in the living room and my son was sitting up in a cat bed on the floor...he said "I have something to tell you"...he cried and put his face in his hands.
Especially when it comes to feelings of grief and disappointment...I have trouble looking people in the eye and saying how I feel...at 7 years old I saw my father try to push my mother off a second story porch...neither of them said anything to me afterwards. One dream I had I relived what happened but I was my mother. As a child, I expressed hurt, disappointment or grief I was laughed at and humiliated...especially by my father. I could never admit I did anything wrong and lied or blamed others.
Many years ago.. my "second father" died...I felt such grief I was afraid I would never stop crying. I was taking an art therapy class therapy class at the time...we painted on wet paper and interpreted the shapes afterwards. I painted a black torso, head and face in hands and black tears . Underneath the tears was a small man, standing reaching up to catch the tears.
Maybe meeting my son in my dreams was about meeting my own grief. I have had such grief in not being able to connect with my son...the eye contact speech fleeting...meeting the part of me that is like him.
I hope you don't mind my sharing the above...I do not know anyone else who would see the value in the above...except others who use this site.
There is one dream...more of an image...I do want to ask you about...a tall dark figure hands crossed over heart like a dead body...looks male...lying under dead brown leaves..next to a grey concrete building..I can only see the basement or ground level.
Many blessings to you!