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Messages - Aristocrates

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Dream Interpretation / Twin Brother
« on: April 16, 2016, 01:07:57 PM »
My brother is driving down the driveway and I am desperately trying to flag him down to give him something he forgot.  He pulls in to the road and is immediately hit head on and flung on to the lawn bloody and broken . He looks up at me, smiles slightly, and says,"Say something to cheer me up, brother."

The setting is at the house we grew up in.

He was recently married to a Mexican citizen and is waiting on her to obtain a visa. He also speaks of just moving there which I fear could be detrimental for him.  He now has a steady job teaching here in the states.  I feel he needs to sit tight and save his money.  He can be a little shortsighted where love is involved....

Dream Interpretation / Nightmares in the Wee Hours of Sleep
« on: August 27, 2013, 01:32:43 AM »
Last night I had a series of scary dreams within the first couple hours of sleep.  When I awoke I had a sense that something must've gone wrong.  I can't remember the last time I felt such desperation. In the dream I am around strange people with no idea of how or why I got there.  At one point I go into panic mode demanding to know what's happened to me.  In my mind I sense I've been kept in an insane asylum and drugged or possibly I've been in an induced coma or something or other.  The part of the dream that left the biggest stamp on my memory (probably because it was the point at which I woke) was lying, incapacitated, in a field.  There were dogs seemingly in position to protect me from a pride of lions.  I felt certain that the lions would easily overpower the dogs and devour me, but in fact, it was the dogs that turned and began to attack me. 

Current life situation:  My little brother who is in the throws of bipolar disorder made his way home the Saturday before last and it's been a wild ride.  He's made life much more interesting but at times he can be overwhelming.  He's had this way of encroaching on my life and space whether it be coaching my soccer team or wooing a girl(we're only 2 years apart) or constantly being on my laptop and having to go where I go.....  I'm just doing my best not to aggravate his condition so I haven't confronted him about any of this.  We did have a little feud a couple days ago about him keeping all his shit in the bed of my truck but he got over it relatively quickly.

What's troubling me is that I envy him.  He has almost zero inhibitions where I am much more reserved/cautious about how I approach things.  At times I think to myself that maybe I need to learn from him.  Maybe I need to be more bold, more assertive, but then I also think maybe the person I am right now is exactly what he needs.  Whether it's related to my dreams or not I feel it's definitely something I need to meditate on.

Well, I am single man again.  Looking back on this dream I can see more clearly how the psychiatrist was the enabler in that relationship and how he was very much a part of me.  He was indeed keeping me disoriented.  It was disorientation that was necessary for me to maintain that relationship.  I ignored so many things that bothered me about her like the excessive drinking in the company of her children, the disrespect she showed me, and a few other things.  Though I believe I rewarded from the relationship.  It was the easiest breakup I remember ever having.  There has been zero hostility.  We still even chat from time-to-time. 

I also believe my subconscious may have been bringing to focus the fact that she was refused to be open with her feelings.  She became defensive when I would want to talk about the relationship which wasn't all that often.  Yet another aspect of the relationship I chose to ignore. 

But all is well. I'm on the right track.  Just completed a CNA course today and haven't touched weed for about three weeks now.  I also had one of the most awe-inspiring flying dreams just the other night.  I simply rose in the air, soaring ever higher.

I'm always ecstatic to hear other people's dreams especially when they're from someone so close. 

In her dream I am in her room naked and she panics because someone is there.  She is frantically trying to find my boxers.  In the living room she finds her children's grandmother sitting on the couch also naked and very comfortable in her nakedness. 

The real life situation:  The man who fathered her two girls is serving time for drug-related crimes involving meth.  He knew he was going to spending time and before he had to leave he proposed to her.  He wanted to marry her before he had to go away but she wasn't ready.  Anyways, she is living with his mom and stepfather and her two girls.  We've been seeing each other for a couple of months now.  Understandably, his mother is upset about us being in a relationship.  Her son seems to want to work things out, still.  It seems that she (my gf) is the main thing keeping him motivated while in prison.  Problem is that he was lousy to her for the majority of the time they were together (6 years).  It wasn't until the last few months before he had to leave for prison that he started to straighten up.  I realize that I may look boneheaded for getting myself into this, but my life has become so much richer since she came into it.

It's difficult for me to recall how i felt.  Right now I'm feeling so content about life.  And speaking of disorientation I have been faced with a host of new experiences the past couple months, mostly rewarding.  Life is just so rich these days :D

I had two dreams of my ex last night.  In the first I am in a large, dimly-lit room.  There are 4 or 5 couches.  Reminds me of a psychiatrist's office.  A strange man gives me a little vile of liquid for me to take.  I take it and soon become disoriented.  I wake up and see my ex on the couch.  Of course I am happy to see her though not in such a strange setting with such strange company.  In the next dream I see my ex and her and notice teeth are rotting out.  I am saddened to see her this way.  It doesn't change how I feel about her. 

Dream Interpretation / Assault by Apparition
« on: April 25, 2013, 02:06:33 AM »
I am pulled out of my bed by the collar of my shirt.  To an observer I would appear to be floating mid-air.  Whatever is holding me is invisible.  I am then shoved against the wall and pulled out into the hallway.  I have to duck to miss the door frame.  All-in-all a very frightening dream.

Dream Interpretation / Dream Of A Son
« on: February 25, 2013, 01:56:16 PM »
This morning I dreamed I held my son for the first time.  He had beautiful light green eyes and an unusual nose.  While holding him I thought about his future.  I felt he was destined for good things.  The bad part is that the mother is my ex.  I'm in Florida visiting.  I missed the pregnancy, the birth, the bed rest.  I missed a lot and it breaks my heart.  I'm not angry at his mother, I understand her reasons for keeping him from me.  I was such a monster to her.  

In reality, in the waking world I have no son and I have no connection to her.

Edit: The boy was an infant, around 3 months. 

Dream Interpretation / Yet Another Dream of the X
« on: February 01, 2013, 09:22:28 PM »
So I had the most intense dream about my ex last night that I've had in some time.  I wish that I had recorded the dream as soon as I woke up.  There's so much I've forgotten already.  I remember it mostly being pleasant.  We were both happy to see each other.  She told me how I was right about a warning I gave her during sometime during the course of our breakup.  The feeling that she missed me just as much as I have her was quite a good one.  The ending was rather odd.  We're inside a house and people are approaching the door.  I realize that I don't have any pants on.  I'm searching frantically for something to throw on.  I come upon three pairs of shorts hanging up and am so relieved, but the relief is short-lived as I realize that each pair of shorts has been sliced from inner seam to inner seam.  I recognized each pair of shorts as ones that I had worn while dating her.  A few months back I tossed them all out.  I still have a box full of memorabilia that I haven't been able to throw away.  I don't imagine I will unless I meet someone very special.  And let me add that I haven't been wallowing in self-pity.  I've been having a very positive outlook on everything.  That's why this dream came as such a surprise.

Lately, I've been reading a book called,"The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle.  He talks about the peace we can achieve as well as the positive changes that can be made in our lives simply by being completely present and aware in each moment.  Also he mentions how we attach our identities/our egos to past events/relationships and how it causes us to suffer.  I believe I have let go for the most part.  Of course, deep in the back of my mind I'm holding on to the possibility of her coming back in to my life.  I miss her intensity.  She just bursts with passion in everything she did.

Tolle also mentions how we need to let emotions run their course.  It reminds me of Tony's advice that we explore our dreams/nightmares as well as the tremendous healing we achieve through Life Stream.  I suppose this dream may be an indicator that there are emotions from this relationship that I've yet to deal with....

Dream Interpretation / Dream about Ex and Twin Brother
« on: January 12, 2013, 08:04:06 PM »
Had a dream last night about my ex AGAIN.  We were hanging out and things seemed good b/t us then I catch her and my brother laying down and embracing each other.  I separate them and slap my brother around but neither one of them seems phased by their betrayal or by my outrage.  I look into her eyes and I know it's not her.  One eye is darker than the other like the actress in NCIS Los Angeles.  It's just a dream.  She's not in my life anymore.  Maybe the theme is that I feel that no one empathizes with my pain. 

Dream Interpretation / Re: Dream Call from Ex
« on: December 28, 2012, 11:57:00 AM »
Hey Christine!  I just now stumbled on your reply.  I don't know.  One quality of hers I really didn't like was how Narcissistic she is.  For the second two years of our relationship we lived 1000 miles a part.  I would usually end up flying down to see her.  I was always the more flexible one.  Instead of planning something that we both enjoyed she would typically plan a photo shoot starring herself (eyes rolling).  So I might go down for one or two full days and it would be all about her.  She never really tried anything that I liked but I was always willing to try things she liked though it got old after a while.  The few times she came to Tennessee we had the best time.  We did things that each of us could enjoy.  The last time she visited we went kayaking.  It was an experience neither one of us will forget. 

Another example of how one-sided the relationship was is how it was so cute for her to beg me to stay at her house and make me late for work but if I made her late even by 2-5 minutes there was hell to pay.  That was the standard in that relationship and right now I'm finally seeing how lucky I am not to be caught up in that anymore. 

General Discussion / Mendependence Day
« on: December 28, 2012, 11:21:55 AM »
"When I was a young boy I lived in London, and in Soho the prostitutes were all standing in the street offering themselves to the men who were almost queuing up with their wages in their hands. I felt at the time that I would never be at the mercy of women. Of course it was a very crazy idea, but I was young."

I retrieved this passage from a discussion you were having with Christine.  Do you really believe that was a crazy idea?  Personally, I don't believe it is.  Also, in the situation you describe, while the men are at the mercy of the women sexually aren't the women at the mercy of the men financially?  Women are being exploited for sex and men for money: a mutual exploitation.  In ways I have more respect for a prostitute than a wife.  Prostitute's are far less greedy. A wife gains half of a man's wealth simply by virtue of being his wife.  So while the transaction between the prostitute and man is mutually exploitative marriage is most definitely not.  Part of a woman's role as wife is prostitute though it is taboo to talk about in most circles.  Historically, marriage is a matter of business.  It used to be that marriage was for the business of men but somehow, through the centuries, marriage has managed to be morphed into an something that favors women much more heavily.

I found this article: explains things better....

Dream Interpretation / Bob Marley
« on: December 27, 2012, 07:03:15 PM »
I'm in a tropical place inside a structure that is open and I'm smoking weed with some people.  I exhale and in the smoke I clearly see the image of Bob Marley.  I take another hit and again Bob Marley appears in the smoke.  Each time he is wearing a smile.  I'm thinking that Bob Marley's spirit is visiting me, comforting me.  

Dream Interpretation / Going Through Photo Album Of Ex With Ex's Sister
« on: December 23, 2012, 05:46:28 AM »
So, had a dream last night where my ex's sister, a female stranger and I were looking through a photo album of my ex.  I was flipping through and showing them the pictures....

Haven't had a dream of her in a couple months I think

General Discussion / Re: Backing out of Air Force Enlistment
« on: December 05, 2012, 11:27:21 PM »
Hi Christine!  So, I consulted the I Ching on my decision just a few moments ago.  First, let me say, the decision not to go was purely mine.  Ok, so after consulting the Oracle the I received the 40th hexagram of deliverance/liberation.  To get a better explanation you might want to google it, lol.  Also, I had no changing lines which means I am entering into a period of stability and calm. 

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