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Dream Interpretation / Master Dreamer who is Both Female and Male +
« Last post by Tony Crisp on Today at 01:57:49 PM »
 This morning at about 3am I was woken by an amazing dream, probably one of the most amazing dreams of my life. It started while I was asleep but led into lucidity. I was in a spare piece of ground which was on the corner of a walk I lived in after the war. It had been a house but when I knew it had been demolished and the ground was flat and slightly overgrown. There were stairs leading down to what must have been a basement. But I, with indeterminate gender, was sitting in the middle of this place with several others in the area. It was somewhat private as my memory is that it had a twelve foot wooden fence around it.

I was sitting with a great book in my lap, and I knew or was informed in some way that the book was special as only a few were available, and I had the book through an amazing sequence of coincidences. In fact the book had been promised to a man for his birthday, but had given up his right to it when he found out I had requested it or sought it.

At first I didn’t know much about the book, but was constantly informed by an immediate intuition what I should do with the book. I had it open to a page and I was told that I could go in any direction, so I took one of the sentences in the book and said it – I want that. And now as a woman I admitted to myself that I wanted to have sex with a very attractive young man who was looking at me. I had only just thought this when the young man, seeing my interest in the book, came over and we started talking. Subsequently we did have sex.

And that was my introduction to the power of the book. At this point I began to wake and a very distinct voice spoke to me telling me that I could follow the directions or suggestions in the book, or choose to strike out in any new direction by making a decision to do so. Or if I was uncertain then I could stick my index fingernail into the edge of the closed pages and open the book at random page. He told me that this might be difficult because the book had not been used and it needed effort to pull the book open to each new page; not that I had any awareness of it.

At this point the man who was instructing me became very real to me although an invisible presence. I started to think and visualise what I would like to do. I saw myself walking up to a stranger and asking them if I could talk with them for a while, explaining that it was because of an unusual dream I had experienced. But then I realised the power of the book and thought I would like others to be able to use it.

After I had made that decision the man now told me – I was now a man – that he would give me the book. It seemed necessary and he asked me to hold my hands ready and he put it in my hands, explaining that this was The Book of Life – my life or whoever used the book. He intimated that it was not an external book but in giving it me it had become conscious and I had been in possession of the book, that in my own mind could be also called The Book of Decisions. And at some point I was told that if I approached a person or an opportunity and they were not interested or said no, then I should not pester them or keep trying but walk away – unless there is a very different approach that worked.

Then all sort of wonderful things happened, although I cannot recall the sequence of them. For instance he said that I had made a choice of my partner, R. And the quality of our love that had survived things that many other relationships would have been shipwrecked by anger, jealousy and bitterness, but was a source of great creativeness.

Then slowly his voice no longer seemed to an external voice but was a part of my being, a sort of higher awareness. I was directed to ask myself where I had got the book in the first place, and saw myself back in that spare ground standing on the steps down to a basement, running away from my friend Eddie. He had a small chrome plated revolver with at least one live round in it and was pointing it directly at my face. I cannot remember being terribly afraid, but I did feel awful with him pointing a gun at me. And it was then I made a decision – that I wasn’t aware of at the time – that I would never taunt anyone like that. And that decision was a shaping influence in my life. (The business with the revolver actually happened, though I had forgotten until asked the question).

From that a whole sequence of decisions was seen. I saw how I made a decision to stay with my first wife Brenda when another woman came offering to be my partner – and then again when I was asked by S if I wanted to go with her. I decided I couldn’t leave my children. It was a hard learned lesson. And yet when I walked out on my family with Brenda years later I did it easily – but faced years of terrible guilt. So, the lesson that was learnt was to meet the consequences of the choices, and in meeting the awful pain instead of running away, it always leads to some level of an enlightening experience. Running away presses one deeper into pain that is hidden and can lead to illness.

As I was experiencing an overview of my life I could see that who I was had been shaped by the choices I made.

I had a distinct feeling that if I presented the book to others it would bring in a new chapter of my life, with a lot more contact and opportunity. It felt a real dawning after a long night of my life. In fact it felt like culmination of my life.

I saw that after that we could live anywhere we chose in a beautiful location with plenty of room. And then came the question I had on my mind for ages – can I ever escape from being trapped in the discipline of working every day to answer all the emails. I was shown the misery I had caused many people in the past, sometimes over lifetimes, and I was assured that the work I am doing is a recompense, a burning out of that darkness, and when it is finished it will again be a new day dawning.

Oh yes – another question on my mind was who am I – what is behind me or my actions. How this came about was that the voice was clear in me – my own inner voice but with much authority and conviction. I had struggled with this question for days, and the voice said to me, “Are you ready to see this?” I answered yes and was told to now wait and watch. And there it was – the darkness, the void that is everything and yet is nothing. I had been created once more out of this everything and experienced a new birth. And it was explained that I had known it since I was a teenager, and had never fully accepted it – or at least never really understood its place in life. I had always felt it was a far distant thing, not an ever present daily experience. Yet now I could look back on my life, and I realised that we became what we are by our choices. Our choices materialise a potential that is within the darkness. That is a great secret. A secret I had realised many years ago and are still trying to live.

See https://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclo…/edgar-cayce-philosophy/
Dream Interpretation / Re: Sun in the rain
« Last post by Tony Crisp on Yesterday at 12:30:37 PM »
Romanov – Thank you for that feedback. It is helpful to me and other readers in the Forum.

My mother wasn’t a schizophrenic, but she was terribly anxious that I would die because I was born lifeless. This led her to push ideas into me that resulted in years of sexual misery because she feared I would still die even at thirteen.

Such things cause an habitual emotional response, and habits can be changed – see https://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/habits/

Ugliness and beauty are skin deep. Some people who are skin deep ugly are often wonderful, living and wise people inside. They had to be to deal with the rubbish thrown at them. These people when you get to meet them are very attractive, despite their looks.

The trick is not to forgive your mother, that is hard, but in recognising the damage it still does to the way you live your life.

Many people do not realise that they have an inner mother equally as powerful as an external mother. You have taken in millions of bits of memory, lessons learnt, life experiences along with all the feelings or problems met by loving and living with your mother, and they are a major influence in your early life, and in a few cases the child never becomes independent from its mother at any age because they never outgrow the damage done. This is true even if your mother was never there for you – you still have all the memories of her not being there for you filed under ‘Mother’. The memories and experience we gather unconsciously change us and are not lost. It is part of you and is symbolised in dreams as a person or event. Such an inner mother can appear in dreams because you are still deeply influenced by what you hold within you.  The inner mother can also signify what has been received via genes passed on or ancestral influences. A man gives an example:

It was difficult to find this forgiveness because I felt that what my mother had done was unforgivable.  Of course none of this was neatly rational.  The feelings were burning beyond reason, and could not be rationalised away.  But I could not ignore the fact that this was not, in the end, about my mother, but about myself.  My continued anger was ruining my life.  So for my own sake I had to sincerely forgive my mother.  This was not a fast change, and it was not easy.  But it did release me from the crippling effects of the anger.  And some effects of non-forgiveness in these situations are quite subtle.  One might, for instance, avoid success in one's life so that those close to you could never feel the pleasure or relaxation of seeing me succeed.  Also, the misery would spread out into the lives of those around me -- to my wife for instance.  Ripples upon ripples, and the world has enough waves of vengeance and bitterness riding through it already. 

After realising this I had a dream. In the dream I stood facing myself. The second me stood above on something, and was condemning me for not being as good a father as I might have been. Meanwhile I stood below begging forgiveness for all the wrong things I had done, and feeling terribly guilty and an awful failure. But gradually the funny side of the situation struck me, and I called out to the second me, ‘Come down from there, you fool. You’re only me condemning myself and making me a failure.’  When I woke from the dream I could see how true the dream was, and what a destructive habit I had. If I projected the feeling of being a second-rate father, my children would feel it and believe they were second-rate children.
I sent my peace and love to you - Tony
Dream Interpretation / A Trip Into Being Worthless
« Last post by Tony Crisp on Yesterday at 10:31:18 AM »
I was in a coach with several people, Sara, Tony someone who was cutting out model airplanes from green metal, others in the background. We were on a long journey to Woolacombe in North Devon. When I spoke as the coach I was able to transport myself and others to places they wanted to go, I had lots of space inside me, and comfortable places to be for people.

I then spoke as the green metal that was being cut and moulded into shapes of airplanes and a helicopter , as the helicopter I could rise about the ground of the coach and get an over view of what was going on.
The metal making represented both my parents, who had passed onto me amazing strength, which they had learnt from their life experiences. My mother had grown up from the age of 11 years in an orphanage seemed to be able to do anything without asking for help; she worked full time  as a cook would  make clothes, bake wedding cakes for neighbours , gardening, run the house, without washing machine or fridge. I was told that she was a well read woman though I never saw this; she must have done this between shifts at work.

My father was like a rock, not so noticeable in his skills but a sense that he could handle life. Tony was also a part of me that had strength to look within myself for knowledge. The helicopter could also go within not just above then it connects with the inner world. And Sara was another part of me who had to find the strength to cope with what life brought along, in a way not allowing her emotions to drive her.

Woolacombe was a place of security, and of becoming a parent.

Sara’s mum who was at Woolacombe was a difficult part for me to own, In fact I said, “I Can’t face this.” But as I allowed myself to become her I felt no sense of worth, as if I wanted to curl up and retreat, but staying with this dreadful feeling, Tony asked if I could find something good within myself and what name I could give her as that part of myself. I gave her the name Beryl and I suddenly had a shift and burst of emotions, feeling the wonder of myself having a mothers love. From that I experienced a beautiful feeling of a flower opening, such a shift of feeling, with the petals reaching out, unfolding in a natural way, then a sense of being a seed in my belly and a larger flower coming out from my heart area.

What this dream has left me with is a sense of love that I can allow to flow through me, that if I look at that love, it flows from me with a real feeling of value within myself. I look forward to seeing where this new sense of self takes me. 

What I also became aware of from this dream was of how much strength I have within myself from becoming the different the people in the coach. This dream has given me a really big inner shift. Beryl has been a part of me for a very long time, which led to feel that I had no worth – I was worthless.

Dream Interpretation / Re: I Don't Know Where I Am Going
« Last post by Tony Crisp on January 17, 2019, 09:29:47 AM »
Thanks Brenda for doing all the wok yourself.

Dream Interpretation / Re: Sun in the rain
« Last post by Romanov on January 16, 2019, 06:03:13 PM »

Your last sentence hit home with such force that it took me a while to absorb and respond to you. :o

My mother was a controlling schizophrenic, who wanted the lives of her five children to revolve around her. Suffice it to say she succeeded quite well, as 4 out of 5 of us are single, never having been in a relationship.

I am 46+, so very much middle aged and ugly. And I think this dream came as a response to my internal argument. I was thinking that I never had children because I didn't want the psychological issues carried to another generation, and how in some ways its a good thing.  But maybe deep down, I know its her, and its hard to forgive her, for wasting my fertility.

With much love to you

Dream Interpretation / Re: Meetings a Man in My Dreams
« Last post by Tony Crisp on January 16, 2019, 09:54:24 AM »
Hi Nicole - What an interesting experience. Thanks for writing to me describing it.

You ask three questions - Is there a way to stop them?  Is there a way to encourage them? Are we having dream meetings or are we having something else?

I will try the last one first. What is it you are experiencing?

This question itself defines your difficulty. Our education and culture gives us an almost unshakable view that the only reality is what we see through our eyes, hear through our ears, etc. Obviously you are not totally locked into that viewpoint or you wouldn't have written to me. But I think you haven't completely accepted the alternative.

Excuse me for being a bit wordy, but I am trying to set a scene here.

The so called normal world is one where you and I are separated by space, by awareness of what each thinks and feels, and all the body things. In that world it is impossible to do what you have actually done except using telephones, speech, etc.

However, there is another world that doesn't have limitations like that. There is actually no separation between people in that inner world dimension of experience. Quantum physics has demonstrated this. They call it non-local. In other words you are not in a particular place in time and space. That part of you is beyond time and space. No limitations. See https://dreamhawk.com/news/there-is-a-huge-change-happening/

But there is a mid way place between the two. This is the imagery and experience of dreams or lucid sleep such as you experienced.

In sleep we enter more fully into the dimension of no limitations. Most people do not bring back much clear awareness of this. It usually reaches waking consciousness as dream imagery and feelings, a blending of waking images of how things are, and something of the non-or formed-local experience.

Because our conscious self thinks in words and images, the formless experience of the non-local unlimited experience - I call it 'naked awareness' - takes on the garb of images to be understandable by your waking awareness. So you see yourself in a cloud like room. Can you see why? It is as near as imagery can get to describe the fact you have moved beyond the limited mental world of sensory experience. It is like a mime to describe something. You can move beyond those images into direct knowing once you see them for what they are.

Okay - so this now helps to explain your other questions.

Is there a way to stop it? Yes, by diminishing yourself as some people do with alcohol, cigarettes etc. Alcohol diminishes that level of awareness. You might also be able to stop it simply by deciding firmly that you don't want to do it again. However, unless that decision is complete it will continue, egged on by curiosity.

I don't think you are having 'anything else' but a meeting beyond the limitations of body awareness.

Is there a way to encourage them?

Nicole, what you are experiencing was probably normal for human beings in past ages. Gradually, throughout hundreds of years, people have been told it was wicked and abnormal to have more awareness of what was going on than church leaders and rulers wanted them to have. Remember how many people were burned at the stake for claiming or demonstrating such abilities? It was a program of domination and segregation to maintain control and wealth. The early Christians, before the Catholic church began, saw it as a part of their life. This was quickly squashed out though. 

What limits it in you at the moment is that you have not realised the possibilities of it, or know it as a natural and healthy part of human life. The wider awareness led you to experience what you did because - I guess - you had a powerful emotional link with your ex. See https://dreamhawk.com/body-and-mind/the-next-step-criticisms/

However, opening to the unlimited has enormous possibilities. If you want to find out more get hold of the books Breakthrough to Creativity by Dr. Shafica Karagulla; and There is a River by Thomas Sugrue, or see https://dreamhawk.com/body-and-mind/the-next-step-criticisms/.

If you want to use your ability in practical ways come back to me and I can hopefully guide you. The wonderful world of the unlimited is part of your being, and without it people are blind, deaf, and often almost dead inside.

Dream Interpretation / Meetings a Man in My Dreams
« Last post by Tony Crisp on January 15, 2019, 07:22:13 AM »
I ran across your site while looking for an explanation as to what has been happening to me.  What I'm experiencing, in fact, isn't on any of the websites I've found.  Perhaps you can help me - I could be calling my experiences a dream meeting when in truth, they may be something else. 

Years ago, I dated a guy and we used to have dream meetings frequently (as you describe them.)  Things didn't work out but since the last time I saw him, I've had (and I assume he has too) numerous dreams in which him and I talk.  In these dreams, we are both in a white, cloud-like room, standing face to face, and talking.  This is what my dream meetings are - they do not have any symbolism, vague meanings, etc. 
Anyway, the last one I had (of any significance anyway) my ex-boyfriend  told me (in the dream) that he was divorced.  The next day, I jumped on the net, looked at the local court's website and found what he told me to be true. 

Am we having dream meetings or are we having something else?  There's no doubt in my mind he's having the same experience.  Is there a way to stop them?  Is there a way to encourage them?  Not sure which way I want to go on this. 

Thanks for your time, 

Dream Interpretation / Re: Sun in the rain
« Last post by Tony Crisp on January 10, 2019, 11:54:37 AM »
Romanov – An old house semi constructed is saying that a period of your life, and your development during it wasn’t finished. But although the scene is not good – the drizzle – the sun is seen clearly and is very round, suggesting your promise, your potential is excellent.

I am not sure of this, but I have the feeling the aspect of yourself that was not developed was to do with a strong influence from your mother. This becomes clearer in the next scene, “I see around five unattractive men, walking in a file on the neighbor’s roof and are looking at me. I tell Mom, who asks me to ignore them, but I go and stand by a wall, away from the gaze of men.”

Did you mother influence you to not ‘look’ at men and keep out of their sight? If I am right it makes sense of the next scene where you are middle aged and ugly. You are involved in thinking and talking about child rearing, and have to remind yourself that you have no children quieting the pretty young woman with vigour.

It seems to me about your own urges toward full womanhood are being quietened by the influence passed to you by your mother.

Dream Interpretation / I Don't Know Where I Am Going
« Last post by Tony Crisp on January 09, 2019, 10:03:57 AM »
I had a dream that I was wearing a curious dress; it was made up of patches of fabric with different sizes of the same pattern which was checked, someone was looking at the dress with amusement. I first looked from their eyes; I had never seen anything like it, made from different pieces, but not the normal shape of a dress, so I was trying to make sense of it but could not.

I then became the dress itself and talked as if I was just the dress. As the dress I felt I was made up from pieces of different pieces of fabric; I liked the dress it amused me and I felt unusual.

Tony invited me to speak from each piece of the fabric; the first piece was big squares and I realised that it was a part of me that lives by rules. Striped suits came to mind which was something that I saw in the behaviour of someone I was on a training course with who was very conventional and lived by the rules. I was irritated by his attitude, but what the dream showed me was I also have that attitude in my beliefs of how relationships are, very black and white and right and wrong ways if being in a relationship. Rules that I had within me.  From the background I came from.

I next spoke from another piece of the dress fabric, this piece was a small check printed pattern, as this piece of fabric I felt very different I felt excited, like life was an adventure full of possibilities, my body felt more upright.
Then there were the threads that held the pieces together, which brought a memory of knitting a coat made of squares. I had made this coat in real life and it was something that I felt could help me hold myself together, as I was living through what seemed like an ungrounded life,  so the thread felt important.

I seem to be looking at life in a different way since this dream, I have been meeting  young women who are reaching out to life, one who is aiming to be a fire woman , another a professional make up artist who can also, work with people with disfigurements. This faced me with how I have had a limited idea of being of what being it is to be a woman, a wife and parent. Strange because I had this dream despite me learning skills to grow into something more than what I thought I was.

So, it's like life is growing me past my limits. I don't know where this is taking me, but as we have shared before - wWe don't know where we are going ha, ha.

Dream Interpretation / Sun in the rain
« Last post by Romanov on January 08, 2019, 06:06:45 PM »
Hi Tony,

I hope life is treating you well. Seasons greetings.
Writing after a long time, as mostly I attempt to interpret a dream myself. However this dream left me disoriented for the day. So I need an expert opinion.

It's the old house where I grew up. One of it's room was semi constructed, space for two windows had been left but no windows had been installed. Brick walls would show because there was no plaster, and the roof was made of corrugated sheets. I am standing on the ledge of these windows, looking at the first floor neighbours window and there AC. Later, my brother is standing there with me but then he gets down and leaves saying something I don't remember. From the same window sill I see a light grey sky with a perfect round, sun. It's windy and it's drizzling, I can see the rain drops in the wind going in all directions but amid all that, the sun is very much there shiny, and round.

Later my mom is sitting in front of the other window in the same room. She is saying something, and as I look up, I see around five unattractive men, walking in a file on the neighbors roof and are looking at me. I tell Mom, who asks me to ignore them, but I go and stand by a wall, away from the gaze of men, and listen to my mother talk.

Its a bright sunny day, and a couple with their children are standing in a bazaar or a road. The husband is ugly. And they have two children a girl and a boy. Apparently I am middle aged and ugly, and I am giving advice to the woman in the couple about child rearing. She is young, fair, pretty, and pleasant with red lips. She tries to answer my objections but I don't let her, I keep talking. And I think, why am I giving her advice, when I don't have children of my own?!

Please help. Thank you.

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