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Healing Dreams / Re: A Charging Bull
« Last post by Tony Crisp on Yesterday at 11:33:39 AM »
Exploring the dream, I realised that I grew up in a farming community, and bulls and their handling was part of daily experience – and they were never allowed to run free except in mating season. And this enormous creature is coming toward me, coming nearer, becoming more conscious, and it is part of me that I have been avoiding most of my life. I am making the decision to let it into my life, and as I do that it brings tears to me, because it is a beautiful creature. Its nature is not to hurt cows but to protect them and mate with them. It is part of my nature to love and care for women, though past hurts have made that difficult, but change is occurring.

Healing Dreams / A Charging Bull
« Last post by Tony Crisp on Yesterday at 11:31:06 AM »
In the dream, I was in a group of people and an activity was about to start. It felt to me rather like a growth group, ones I used to run. But I wasn’t the leader and was wondering whether to be involved. But I seemed to be in an old large rambling building and I was wandering about and found myself on the edge of a farm yard – an area where animals were kept or collected.

I heard a loud sound as if a very large animal was pounding nearer, running. I was sure it was a huge bull and wanted to stand clear of it. There was an opening just behind me in the building about three feet up the wall. I tied to step into it but felt as if my age made such movement difficult so I couldn’t do it. So, I tried with difficult to get my knee there and succeeded and felt safe.

Dream Interpretation / Re: Cleaning a House-Imported
« Last post by Tony Crisp on Yesterday at 11:12:56 AM »
It started with me imaging myself being the woman. I was just talking, but it developed into a very feeling revelation. I realised she was my inner woman, and loving her made we a whole person. It felt like it was the end of a long process and we had achieved it.

The carpet being cleaned was also quite moving. I was told or realised that I always kept my house clean, and the carpet was dirty through ordinary living and moving on the carpet – a few days ago I had cleaned a carpet and took time to do it well. This was what I realised I had done with my life, I had tried to keep myself clean, as with dream work.

I realised or experienced from this that becoming more whole I was starting a new way of life. There was no plan because I didn’t need one.

Dream Interpretation / Cleaning a House-Imported
« Last post by Tony Crisp on Yesterday at 11:09:43 AM »
I dreamt I was on my knees cleaning a carpet in a house. I have the impression it was very large house, and where the carpet was I had no sense of walls nearby. I was cleaning it was some sort of electronic thing. It had a handle like a broom handle only slightly thicker, and was about three feet in length. It worked somewhat like the huge industrial carpet cleaners I worked with at one time, but it was small and had a head the size of vacuum cleaners, and sprayed water and cleaning fluid onto the carpet and sucked it up with the dirt. At one point I saw a part I had cleaned, the white part was beautifully very white – I think the carpet had a black and white design on it.

I felt the presence of people around me, just being there, but one woman who I felt was the woman I worked for was there with me watching. Then it was time to finish and I was going, but the woman said I should stay. I asked her why and she said she had read some of my poetry and indicated she liked it. Then we realised that we loved and respected each other, and somehow she had seen me as more than a carpet cleaner. I then realised we had a wonderful relationship and I felt whole.

General Discussion / Re: Caring for elderly parent
« Last post by Tony Crisp on September 12, 2018, 01:40:01 PM »
Dear HelenMellon – I found that not having a fathers love leaves as much or more pain than sever beating in childhood. Here is my own experience as I fell into the pain.

“So, the damage to the muscle was the injury to my supportive confidence through my relationship with my father. As all this was felt I sobbed uncontrollably. I wept for the lost years, the wasted years of my youth. I was convulsed with the pain of not having been loved by my father. Tears fell from me for the failure of my life. I would never have believed one could feel so much pain about something missing in one's life and not being loved by ones father. I had always thought to feel that much pain you would have needed to be beaten or abused in childhood. My father was kind, but he showed no warmth, no interest in me, just criticisms. And that was as bad as being beaten, perhaps worse. I had been severely beaten at school, but it hadn’t scarred me like this.”

I slowly came out of feeling second best, but it was through diving into my dreams not thinking about them. I discovered that we each have an upstairs and a cellar. Most people are fully aware of their personal life lived in the physical world, but hardly anyone are aware of their life in the cellar. It was in my cellar I met such passion and realisation of emotional pain, but meeting it was what cleared its influence from my life.

I have tried to explain it in https://dreamhawk.com/approaches-to-being/lifes-little-secrets/ 

Dream Interpretation / Re: White Dog
« Last post by Tony Crisp on September 12, 2018, 09:20:16 AM »
Hi Yoma – I don’t get the feeling that you encountered ‘danger’. I say this for several reasons, first because I have two similar dreams – “My dog tramp took my right hand firmly in his mouth and led me very purposefully.” Secondly the dog left a circle mark on your hand; and thirdly because the dog was white and met you in the forest.

They are all positive symbols in your dream - White animals: Urges and sexuality that have been accepted or integrated with conscious activities. This means urges that at one time you were in conflict with or anxious about, and have been transformed in urges and feelings that are acceptable parts of your present life. They become available and creative energy.

Forest - If you are in or exploring the forest it shows you becoming aware of the level of yourself that is usually drowned out by your daily life or civilized activities. You will be more aware of meeting your internal animals. This is the country of dreams and the unconscious. In the forest you are in touch with the forces and wisdom of Life.

Circle - Completeness, wholeness, all of the parts of our being, body, soul, spirit. It also represents the universe as a whole, harmony, symmetry. Sometimes symbolises an enclosure or restraining influence, or protection, and stands for the womb, or female sexual organs. May also represent emptiness, receptiveness, or a fertile condition.

You start the dream in nature, in a workshop for architecture - Here is the image of the process or function in us that plans, that designs in a creative and perhaps considering way. It may be about plans for a better or different living condition, or about business or even a relationship. The architect is also pointing to a process of checking and directing progress.

In all it is a very positive dream, in which your socialised natural urges impresses on your hand how you express yourself in action or relationships; your grasp of life, of ideas, of opportunities, and it shows that your efforts are or will be made whole.

But your mum is the anxious worried you, the attitudes you probably gained through being raised be her. You learned to counter this influence because your childhood was one that was full of nature and living – the forest where you meet your internal animals. See https://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/animals/

General Discussion / Re: Caring for elderly parent
« Last post by helenmelon on September 11, 2018, 06:39:56 PM »
How does one let go? How does one stop trying to lead that damn horse to water?  When does one walk away?

I realised recently that my father has no interest in his children.  He actually has no interest, can you believe that? But it's true. He's not a bad man, he would never harm a fly. But he is disinterested. His kids are actually a nuisance to him. I think we always have been. He didn't have connection with us as children and as adults we are a nuisance trying to get him out of the rehabilitation / recovery centre.

I have been hanging around all my life wanting the approval of my father. Needing him to give me direction. But now at the age of 36 I get it, I will never get that from him. Once a therapist said to me "what you are looking for you won't find there" and it rings home even more true now than ever. My father was never a father, he simply put food on the table.  He had no interest in us and still doesn't. And even though I no this and I know I need to walk away ... it is so very hard to learn to let go and lead ones own life.

I'm still just baffling around in the dark at 36 years old not knowing what to do with myself. And I see I am wasting more time on my dad, someone who actually just doesn't care not because he's bad but because I think he just doesn't know how.

Wow Tony, your piece about having a "problem" as a way of "defence". Very interesting.
Dream Interpretation / White Dog
« Last post by Yoma on September 11, 2018, 09:01:58 AM »
Hello Tony,

I was at an outdoor workshop for architecture students. Imagine it as a small wood shack in the woods with regular tables and chairs,1 for each student. I was working a project by the hand and admiring the view. But i have to describe the scenery first. Sitting on that chair,i was close to a wall. Lookin in the right direction,i saw the wall; looking in the left direction, i could see a beautiful sunset over a hill,eclipsing the town i could barely see over the hill (from my position). I could say i was sitting in some kind of valley. Looking upfront, i could see the rest of the greenery,with its hills and trees and lots of people havin fun. At some point i felt the urge to run to the other side of the hill (where "another" forest started to sprout) and i just did it. Running back i got chased by i white dog that emerged from the forest. While running,i tought he just wanted to run along with me and play but when i reached back at the workshop,he bit my right hand and stood there for like 30 seconds (no pain involved). I was trying to open his mouth with my left hand but he was squeezing too hard. There were 2 men standing there and looking at me struggle and i got mad at them for not helping me out. They helped me after i nicely asked and the dog left after that. The weird thing, he left me with a circular mark of teeth. Like,a perfect circle. My mom appeared from somewhere,worried alot. I started explaining her its no big deal,there's no pain and "afterall, i grew up in this place". Those exact words keep appearing in my mind. Its kind of true,the scenery and the town are very similar to my home town. And while i was a kid i used to walk around that forest everyday with my friends. But never have i encountered "danger" coming from a white dog. And there is no workshop or a hill that eclipses the town.
Dream Interpretation / Re: Facing the Bull-Imported
« Last post by Tony Crisp on September 10, 2018, 10:30:25 AM »
Jason explored the dream himself:

Recently I have woken at about 2am to do a pee, and then an explosion of insight and information occurs. In that way, I saw what the dream meant, that I had entered a state of mind that put me in touch with my basic natural feelings; and with my inner female – my wife.

The bull was my own sexual drive and power, which I was still avoiding. I ran from this but of course I cannot escape from myself, and so meet it again. This time there was no fear.

The road ahead was very clear, but instead of taking it I got fixed in narrow viewpoints, the small lane.

Later in visualisation I took the road and quickly arrived at the meeting. I found and remembered the many times I had dreamt of the farmhouse, and also the wonderful marriage or merging with my female self- why do I keep overlooking ground already covered? See http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/archetype-of-the-great-mother/

Last night was extraordinary in the torrent of realisations that were pressed into my memory. Especially about crucifixion not being about Jesus’s pain, but a meeting with experiencing the pain, trials, sickness that comes from living in our body, which we are nailed/fixed to because we were born to it. When we realise that the pain is caused by our fixation that we are our body, and that our personality is us, then we experience a death of our ego.  See https://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/death-of-ego/


Dream Interpretation / Facing the Bull-Imported
« Last post by Tony Crisp on September 09, 2018, 10:43:17 AM »
I dreamt I was in field with my wife. There was a bull and cows fairly close to us. The bull made a move toward me and I ran into another field, separated by a dip but no fence. My wife went off in another direction and we shouted to each other that we would meet back at the farm house.

Another bull moved toward me but I simple kept moving toward the road the farmhouse was on. As I approached nearer I could see the road at right angles to me, and I knew I would have to turn right on it. But on taking a right turn I found myself in narrow gulley with high sides. I kept walking on but it seemed never ending.

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