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My husband had an affair for quite a long time. He has been at home trying to work things out with me and our three children. It's been painful and difficult. He rarely remembers his dream. He had a vivid dream of a large, human sized bird by our home tha

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onthefence

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Adultery, human sized bird
« on: February 21, 2013, 06:30:07 PM »
Any thoughts what the dream of a large, human-sized dark bird by a home may mean after adultery committed by the dreamer.

Rand

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Re: Adultery, human sized bird
« Reply #1 on: February 22, 2013, 12:11:03 PM »
I am certainly no expert on dreams so take my reply with a grain of salt.

The first thing I thought of was an article I came across the other day.

There was an art piece sold which was very ancient.  Some people believe

it was Lilith. Here is the link to Wiki with the picture showing a woman who

was a bird.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lilith

Rand

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Re: Adultery, human sized bird
« Reply #2 on: February 22, 2013, 11:33:35 PM »
I apologize for just blurting that out. I know this must be a very sensitive matter so my comment was a little wierd. I am still working on reading many of the articles and trying to find the relationship as to why we form certain images in our mind. It does seem to be part of the human situation and there is written history that shows we  aren't the only ones who do it. Forgive me if anything I said was offensive.  I don't know you well enough to understand what you may be going through.  I can only imagine it is a difficult time for you and I certainly wish the best for your relationship and family. Trust is a delicate matter many times. Yet, understanding and forgiveness are also delicate matters. It is difficult to realize all of us are imperfect and many times we do things not really understanding what is happening to us.  The process is difficult.  Anything that hurts is especially hard. My experience is to be very patient when we go through some type of struggle. It is difficult to wait or put off decisions. Yet, it is true we should never make a decision under duress.  If your husband is very remorseful it would make sense he would be having nightmares and also feel betrayed by something that caused him to go against his values. Just realize he is just human and probably has weaknesses like all of us. I can tell you from my experience, that men are wierd in a way with the stages they can go through. The reason I say it is because, most women are good at communicating or expressing their feelings. Men, have difficulties drawing out or talking about something when they are going through trouble. Many different disciplines try to
help couples resolve situations, not just from dreams, but also from psychology and even spiritual issues.

I am writing so long because I didn't want you to be offended by my first comment. Realize, most people will
be reluctant to say anything because they want to make your situation better and not worse. Forgive me in the fact, I tend to just jump right in and start talking.  I am not afraid for someone to tell me I am wrong or correct me. I welcome when people tell me where I thought wrong or acted wrong. That helps me see my own flaws or learn to relate to people. You are the first person I ever responded too and I think Tony will help you out.

The symbols show your husband is suffering and feels remorse. He is hanging on to you but needs your help. It is difficult for you to work through the feelings but I sense you are  meant to be together. Your difficult road will be understanding each other and why things have gone this way. I think you are probably the anchor in the family so ultimately your love and wisdom will decide what happens to your family. I know we all get so busy sometimes out of necessity , it is difficult to be human.  Free time where you can destress works wonders.

Like I said, this letter is a long apology to you because when I woke up early this morning I just blurted out my response. After I thought about the delicate nature of how you might feel, I was concerned about you and the importance of this matter. Thanks, and I think you can chase big bird away out of your house.

Tony Crisp

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Re: Adultery, human sized bird
« Reply #3 on: February 24, 2013, 10:31:00 AM »
OnTheFence – As this was dreamt by your husband and described to you it clouds the issue a little – makes it harder to get at the meaning.

But birds, unless attacking, are a way of lifting our viewpoint above the everyday world of worries, guilt and hurts. That the bird is dark suggests that it is not fully functioning at the moment, but could be is entered into by using https://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/acting-on-your-dream/#BeingPerson

But those are just words, and as always I suggest that the dreamer can find out what the dream means by entering into the images of the dream. So ask him to try using what is suggested above.

But realise that dreams are not a means of spreading bad news or thoughts, but are acting in a way for your husband to find out what is best for him and you. So do not start fretting that his dream is a portent for more personal pain. And if you can use it, see http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/questions/#FaceFear

Tony
« Last Edit: April 08, 2019, 10:28:55 AM by Tony Crisp »

onthefence

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Re: Adultery, human sized bird
« Reply #4 on: February 27, 2013, 09:51:34 PM »
Thank you. Yes, it is extremely painful for our family. I am taking my time with making big decisions. I love my husband and he's working very hard (including therapy) to figure out why this happened and to find ways to help all o us. He never remembers his dreams. This one left him very unsettled. That's why it sticks out with me so much. It frightened him. The only thing he said lately of the dream is that the bird left in a chariot. Does that make any difference to the dream's possible meaning? I know it's hard to know, but some direction of his true feelings can help me tremendously.

Thank you both for your insight. Any additional is appreciated.