I had a very upsetting dream last night
I dreamed it was the end of the world and all life as we knew it. Looking at the world I began to see it as nothing more than just an illusion, like a matrix which was starting to disintegrate all around me. I knew we were all to leave our immortal body and go to the next world which was our real home. My children and ex husband were scheduled to go before me which made me feel a little frightened leaving me on my own. I cradled my youngest in my lap and told her not to worry, I won't be far behind her and to wait for me on the other side where we'll be together again. My eldest daughter went first, her body just disappeared and as I held my youngest crying, she gently faded away untill she was just gone. I sat looking at the empty space on my lap for a moment and got up. I then saw my ex husband and told him as he faded that I have and always will love him, he nodded and dispersed into the atmosphere like star dust leaving me all alone. The night sky now looks like a mesh of green squares which reveals to me the illusion that once was the beautiful starry night. My loved ones now gone I await my turn patiently, walking away from all my worldy belongings as I know deep inside I have no need for them where I am going. Then I hear a voice say, it is not your time to leave this existance and I feel a sense of panic for all that I love is gone and I am now completely alone in this frightening lonely place. I think to myself, it's OK, they will wait, only here is there a sense of time, for them it won't feel like twenty years passing, I must be patient.
I awoke from this dream feeling a sense of profound sadness, as though a part of me had died. I understand the dream and it's meaning. Not long after a broken marriage and in a new relationship the dream reveals to me a sense of a "false" family unit. Although in my mind it tries to create a true feeling of what a family unit should be, it might look the same from the outside but the mechanics and feeling that go with it can't even come close. The dream was unsurfacing the feelings associated with the death of my family unit and my real feelings of what it is now, close but not the same. I feel so much pain this has gone from my life forever but that can only be my own perception, this world I had created as a result of my own conditioned beliefs and family values.. take away all that is seen, the imagery and false images to reveal what the dream is really saying.. love is all there is, love is infinite, when all is lost, love never dies and we must always hold onto that no matter what, cherish it, cradle it and never forget it, love is what we are.. when the world as we know it crumbles to the ground only love remains.
