Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Author Topic: Recurring dream - sex, losing virginity  (Read 6296 times)

Avalon

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 4
  • I am who I am. Someone has to be.
    • View Profile
Recurring dream - sex, losing virginity
« on: December 04, 2010, 01:26:41 AM »
I met a guy back in July and we have become good friends and have been able to confide in each other about a lot of things and be open with each other about pretty much everything. Neither of us are currently in a relationship and while I am in the market, he is not interested in pursuing a relationship; he's happy being single.

I've been having this dream for the past three or four weeks I guess. He and I are having sex. Most of the time it is in my mother's bed (hers is a Queen, mine is a Twin), but sometimes we are on my living room couch and a couple of times we have been in a motel room (Though, the motel room is becoming less and less recurrent). He and I are not in a relationship when we choose to have sex; I guess we're friends with benefits at this point. I am a virgin in reality and am such in this dream, and he is not a virgin in both aspects. Anyway, the dream always starts with him asking if I am sure I want to do this. I reply with yes, and we begin. He is taking things at my pace, letting me call the shots and reassures me that I'm doing fine and assures me it's okay when I confess I'm not sure exactly what I'm doing. Though in more recent dreams, my confidence has gotten better, and I am less and less unsure. Most of the time in my mother's bed or the motel room, we are in the missionary position; he on top of me, but this is beginning to change to me being on top of him. But when it takes place on my living room couch, I am always on top of him. Despite this being my first time engaging in sex, it doesn't hurt at all. He always climaxes first, then he begins to pleasure me, but the dream ends before I am able to reach my climax.

If anyone has any advice or information, it would be greatly appreciated. I'm not sure if it's my body/mind telling me I'm emotionally ready to engage in sex or if I'm just a "frustrated virgin" or if there is something else to it. I've also spent the last three and a half years recovering, emotionally, from being assaulted by my ex-boyfriend. Is it possible that my body/mind/emotions are telling me that I'm ready to move on and perhaps this current guy is the one who could help me? And why does the dream end before I'm able to climax?

I do hope there aren't too many questions there; I'm just a little confused and would like some answers.

Thank you.

Tony Crisp

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3419
    • View Profile
    • Dreamhawk.com
Re: Recurring dream - sex, losing virginity
« Reply #1 on: December 05, 2010, 12:59:52 PM »
Avalon – Thank you for sharing so much with me. Also it helps to have a clear picture.

From what you describe I see you are a very straightforward and clear person. Most people put their sexual dreams in symbols instead of coming straight out. This means you are a healthy and rather lovely young woman. Also the meanings of the dreams you have described are all centred on what you said: β€œin more recent dreams, my confidence has gotten better, and I am less and less unsure.”

This shows that they are a mixture of what I call practice and exercise dreams. In many dreams we have a sequence in which we explore our feelings and skills and gradually learn. This can then be used in your waking life. The dream holds no real threat so we can explore and find out what we really want. You can see this in the gradual way you are learning greater confidence and ability.

I would suggest that you pleasure yourself until you reach a climax. Or if you already have, you need to go through it very slowly and with awareness. This is because there is something stopping you in your dreams. This can come out and be resolved if you go slowly and really listen to what you and your body are feeling. There is probably a point where you feel something arising emotionally or even in memory. As you say you are recovering from an assault. So there may be a subtle feeling standing in the way.

As for are you emotionally ready to engage in sex, obviously you still feel a little uncertain, but the practice in your dreams will gradually get to the point when you will know and feel confident. Remember that sex is for two main things – reproduction and bonding. These are so powerful that there is no need to rush. When you are certain it will happen.


Tony

Avalon

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 4
  • I am who I am. Someone has to be.
    • View Profile
Re: Recurring dream - sex, losing virginity
« Reply #2 on: December 05, 2010, 06:53:13 PM »
Thank you very much for taking the time to respond to this, Tony. I really appreciate your insight on this; it will help me tremendously.