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Author Topic: One Note/Two More Dreams  (Read 4822 times)

Christine

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One Note/Two More Dreams
« on: July 09, 2013, 10:21:17 AM »
Note - The white figures at the end of the last dream had black scribbled lines circled on the top of their heads and vertical lines running up and down their back.  I am not sure but I think this might have to do with negative thinking and its effect on moral/immoral behavior.

Dream One - I am sitting on a bench holding a gold piece of knitting in front of me.  The purl side is facing me.  Next to me is a tall grey haired woman or man...I can't tell.  Beyond her is the dark man.  We are all sitting.   The grey haired person is holding up an open magazine...on the left page is the image of a gold sweater...on the right all grey fine print.  She says "you can't make a sweater if you can't read the fine print."  I grab the magazine from her and put it in my lap "That's ok I say...not everyone can read the fine print...a lot of people have tried."

Dream Two - I am lying in my old bed in my old bedroom in my parents house.  I just wake up and everything is grey all around me.  I am thinking about committing suicide...everyone else is fine...no one will notice when I am gone...they won't feel anything negative if I do it...they will not care.  I get out of bed everything is black...I can't see and feel my way along the walls to go downstairs.  In the kitchen everything is grey...there is a light from an open refrigerator which adds some light to the room.

I sit at the kitchen table...where my father usually sat and where I sat when he was not home...I reach behind me and pull out a box of cereal...Rice Chex...and start eating it with my hands.  I notice dishes all over the kitchen counters...my current roommates black six sided bowls are there...there were six people in my family of origin.  I reach behind me again and grab an opened bag of cookies.

From the table the door to the basement is white, I look down and see that there is light behind the door and a grey shadow...as if someone might be standing behind it.

In reality, my father used to go into the basement to drink.  Both parents would go there to smoke.  They would go there to argue and/or talk...we could usually hear what they were saying.  In one particular incident I was a teenager and tried to talk to my Dad about my mothers drinking and he said "that has nothing to do with me."  He worked nights, she would drink, be verbally abusive and tell me she did not want me lining there.  I was cring very upset...my father went down to the basement with my mom and told her that she had better stop drinking because he did not want a mental case for a daughter.

I think my recent dreams...have been trying to help me work through my own black and white thinking about myself, the fear that I have in being perceived that way by others and difficulty in expressing my own feelings.

I mostly wanted to put them out here for a record of them and also to see if you notice any helpful clues.




Tony Crisp

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Re: One Note/Two More Dreams
« Reply #1 on: July 21, 2013, 12:37:31 PM »
Chris – I did feel but didn’t say, that the people looking at the earth seemed to be looking at the past, the down to earth who cannot look up, but are imprisoned by their conditioning.

It reminded me of this that came out of helping a woman explore her dream. “The sentence that I have written down is, “You’re not smart enough.” We explored this and I helped Linda to see this as a script, a sort of recording placed there by her parents that could play on endlessly and influence the way she responded to situations and opportunities. But what came to mind this morning is that although this is a simple enough sentence, the sort of put-down lots of children get injected with by parents or teachers or others, it has a much wider significance. I saw it as part of the indoctrination that goes on in socialising children. For instance, we can ask the question, “Where did the parents hear that phrase?” We could also ask what is the statement implying in a wider sense?

Without answering that quickly, thoughts led me on to think of my own childhood and what I have learned about it and my own socialisation and indoctrination. What I realise is that I was indoctrinated into a society in which the working class were kept in place by threats of heavy punishment or even death. As a child I was often quite brutally hit with canes or hands if I dared to move out from the conformity expected of me. So what Linda heard could also be put into other sentences such as, “You are intrinsically no good. You will never ever come to anything. If you don’t do as I say I will hurt you.”

I feel that such statements are a part of controlling people, or are parts of the way adults, themselves indoctrinated, train children to be passive and complying, and so take their place in the social and political system.

It could also be a way of parents maintaining control over the child who is weaker than the parents, the sort of control they are placed under by others in authority over them. So although such statements are in one sense only a few critical words, they may also be part of a huge controlling influence that is part and parcel of society.

This led me on to look at the way nations threaten other nations with death - i.e. war - if they do not conform to the will of the powerful nation. Many authoritative bodies use similar statements or threats to induce conformity.”

But you are knitting – creating – a gold sweater, something of great value and long lasting. Even so you get out of bed feeling depressed – another habit.  It took me years to wake up each morning and not feel the pit feeling. But I achieved waking up bathed in peace it never came back again.

Tony

Christine

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Re: One Note/Two More Dreams
« Reply #2 on: July 25, 2013, 07:55:12 AM »
Thank you Tony...both responses were very helpful.