Hi Chris – I can only comment on the first part of your dream, about the really black man. It seems obvious that you are connecting with what is usually thought of as a ‘dark period’ of your history or of your inner world. That you kiss him is a sign that you are actually meeting what he represents – your black self - and it is not unpleasant of bad.
Usually we tend to think of the black side of life or ourselves as something awful, but recently in exploring I found that it is like rich soil and is full of the potential for growth. The trick is to bring the light and the dark together. Just as we need sunlight on soil to bring forth growth, so we need the dark and the light for our growth.
So it seems a good and hopeful dream. But of course dreams are often like seeds, they take time to grow into the light of day.
To explain what I mean I quote a dream interpretation sent to me years ago by a person I worked with on his dreams: “The dream is not visually very strong in my memory, but it had a strong overall feeling. I saw my daughter, who was about 10 years old, looking thin and pale, and unhappy. She was wearing a thin dress and had something of the appearance of a Dickensian waif. I knew she needed love and sensible encouragement, and most of all to be part of a loving family group in which play and acceptance were as important as going out to school or work, earning money, learning to be a member of the community, and so on. I felt that I had neglected her, that I was living a deracinated cerebral life in Bristol apart from my blood relatives and close companions. In the dream I wanted to go to Devon and to get in touch with Liz, my ex wife, to re-establish a family life. I may have actually done this in the dream, but, as I say, it was more a dream of feeling than of events – I don’t remember a grand reconciliation or anything specific happening. I then woke up, and realised that my daughter is 32 years old, living in London with her partner, and well past childhood. However, on reflection, I do think her life is quite hard, working as she does in the modern fast-capitalist world, producing outsourced graphic work for major companies with little of the social support that older forms of work (even factory work) may have provided. But the dream is also about me, and my need for a blood-relationship with family and friends, to find a better relationship with life as a whole. It is interesting that to me this dream is now interwoven with my more conscious reflections which include thoughts about current working and social life.”
That was written a few years ago, and he has actually now got closer to his ex wife that ever; has bought a flat near his family – his son and granddaughter, and is also managing a closer relationship with a lover than ever before. He replied to this saying, “As you say, it is very significant and does bear a relationship to the movement of my actual life. I am in a much better relationship with Liz and my family, while still in Bristol much of the time (and W. is here at the moment). I'm looking forward to seeing you again soon.”
Tony
