My dream

[Blondiejess]

I had a dream last night that my boyfriend sent me a text message saying that our relationship was practically over. This was strange as in real life we live together get along very well etc, in the dream we did not live together but there was a house I can't remember if it was his parents or my parents. In real life my parents live in Spain and I live in England and my boyfriends Mum lives about 2 hours away from us. The other thing I remember was that in my mind he was seeing some1 else, this is what I thought in my dream, in real life I know I am the only girl I have no doubt or feel insecure or anything, but I did in my dream. I also remember getting a text or phone call asking me to go live in London, and my friends in my dream thought wow I had to go for it. This actually lifted my mood in the dream but I still felt a little heart broken that my boyfriend said it was over when I didn't know why. I would just like to know what this means as it was soo real and so very strange!

[Tony Crisp]

Jess – This is what is meant by our unconscious. Some things we bury so deeply because for the development of our self or well being we ‘forget’ awful feelings.

Why this dream has arrived is probably because you have felt good in the relationship, and so the negative things dating from early childhood can be met. In other words you are strong enough to face them. Such unconscious feelings are often from a young age when we felt lost or abandoned. It could have happened while in hospital, or your parents were called away. Trace the feeling backwards till you can find it.

I believe the best way to deal with such feelings and to change them is not to push them away, but look at them as if they are old and need to be renewed. You can do this by ‘living as if’. That is, living as if it is true that you and your boy friend are well matched and okay. For while the feelings will get worse, but by ‘living as if’ you create a new habit and you will be free of the feelings.

Tony