Yolie – I believe there are several things here causing your dream and the terror. I feel that when you had the surgery you did not come away from it totally assured it would be okay. You may not have had a great worry, but little niggling feelings can act upon you in a powerful way.
Also I wonder about the clots from your vagina. Such bleeding can be a sign of loss of energy. But I am not talking about physical energy. If you have been hurt in any way regarding your sexual self, then it could be a sign of loss of wellbeing in that area, and so a loss of energy.
Then there is the business of health insurance. I presume this is because you live in the US – in the UK we are all taken care of. So if you have any worries about your health, then this would create an awful anxiety about the insurance.
As for finding healing, the answer is, believe in yourself. Not the frightened little you that has been terrified, but the big you that baby bird believe in when, from nest high up, they jump out into space and fly. We all have it – a BIG self. If you listen to your heartbeat without fear and feel it beating – it is that BIG self keeping you alive. Open to that and feel the difference.
Tony
