Tamsyn – Of course they are not your friends you have chopped up, but they are parts of you that you have killed. To find out what parts of you they are you need to ask yourself what you would say about them if you describe their personality. Then apply their characteristics to you.
What aspects of your life are you trying to get rid of? If there is any change you have made recently that is a major shift, then ask yourself what it was, and why is it difficult to dispose if the old you?
It seems important that you were unaware of murdering them, so the question of what changes you have made is important. Also ask yourself why you would want to tear yourself apart? And what are you trying to hide?
Tony