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Author Topic: Connecting to my higher self?  (Read 4196 times)

mokey

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Connecting to my higher self?
« on: February 26, 2014, 12:15:30 PM »
I wonder if anyone can advise?

I've always wanted to connect with my higher self (I know we all are connected but I wanted to hear/feel the messages) so I've always tried but failed. Two years ago I was having a bad day, was going to get back in bed and give up for the day when I heard a voice say very clearly, "You need to eat." This voice wasn't mine but wasn't distinguishable as anyone else's either. It wasn't exactly in my head but it wasn't outside of it either! It just was. I had the distinct feeling it was my higher self. I went home, grabbed some food, got in bed, ate it and within two hours I felt completely fine and back to normal.

Since then I've had nothing.

Last week I was in bed awake, it was morning, I'd been awake maybe 30 minutes thinking about various things. I know I had been thinking about my sister as she's going through a bit of a wild phase which is having a detrimental effect on those around her, but then my mind went blank and I distinctly heard a voice again that again wasn't mine and was neither in or out of my head. This time the voice said, very clearly, "Less than a year to live."

I really snapped out of my thinking and became very aware of my surroundings, so I would say I was either in a slight meditative state or it's possible I was dozing off, but once I heard it I was very alert. I didn't feel any major fear about the words but it has played on my mind ever since.

Could this have been my higher self?

Is this notice that I have less than a year to live or that my sister has less than a year to live or could it mean something else?

Do I need to be thinking realistically about the possibility of dying?

I'm 40, fit and healthy and haven't had any concerns and strangely I don't feel panicked or scared by what I heard but it is on my mind.

Two days after I heard this I was doing some writing (this is mostly how I meditate/learn/grow spiritually) when I started writing what could possibly be an idea for a book and it kind of ties in with having less than a year to live so I'm also wondering if my higher self is guiding me through my thoughts to writing a book. I have noted since then that other thoughts/ideas keep popping into my head regarding how the 'story' could go. Am I clutching at straws because I don't want to face what could possibly be my impending death?!!

Any thoughts?

mokey

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Re: Connecting to my higher self?
« Reply #1 on: February 26, 2014, 12:25:18 PM »
I have been carefully noting any dreams since to see if they shed any light but I don't think they do. On Saturday I dreamt this:

I am on the Isle of Wight (I had been there on Monday/Tuesday) in a house that feels quite grand. I am stood in a large room which feels like an entrance way as well as a room. There is someone with me and to my left, in another room is Eddie. (Eddie is a man I went on a date with, who lives on the iow, about a year ago. We met again briefly on Monday. There is no attraction/relation possible)  Eddie and I are going to go on a date.

I am back on the mainland and am at a train station to catch a train up to London to go on a date with Eddie. (I live 2 hours away from London so it would be a bit odd to go there for a date in real life!) Eddie is still on the island, I am going up slightly before him (getting a head start?) but I don't know why. I stand and wait for the train which I sense should come in on my right. Nothing comes for a long time and then I realise that the train has been replaced by a bus so I walk over to a circular area where I am to catch the bus. I realise it will take a long time to get up to London on the bus.

I suddenly realise I don't have any money, I know I did have. I remember I have left it on the train, even though I never got on one. I get on a train that is in the station and see my wallet (not a purse) where I left it. It is open and there is no money in it. There are two boys aged about 10 stood nearby, they say something which makes me realise that they took the money. I confront them but they deny it. I know they did though.
I have to contact Eddie to tell him that I won't be able to meet him in London after all as I have no way of getting there. I don't know why we didn't just have a date where we were.

On Monday night I dreamt this:
Ruby (my 16 yr old daughter) had had a baby and Elisha (my 14 yr old daughter) is babysitting for her.I am unsure of the sex of the baby but it feels more female than male. Elisha is sat in the bath with the baby, I am sat on the outside of the bath half watching. Elisha gets distracted using her phone for what seems like ages. I think that she needs to watch the baby. Some time, minutes, go by. I look into the water and see the baby at the bottom, I don't know how long it's been down. Elisha is still on her phone. I take the baby out of the water, the skin around its eyes are dark and slightly sunken and I think it must be dead. I go to breath into its mouth when I remember that it would be dangerous to do that if it doesn't need it so I put my ear to its chest and can hear a slow but very loud and strong heartbeat. I then put my ear to its mouth and can hear gentle breathing, I feel relieved.

Last night I dreamt but can only remember a snippet of it. I dreamt that I was in the house that I grew up in. I went into the kitchen which was massive when I lived there but in the dream the current owners had changed it and it was now really small and narrow. It didn't make a great deal of sense to me why they would make it so small and difficult to use. The bigger kitchen was much better.

I don't know if any of these dreams are relevant at all.

Tony Crisp

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Re: Connecting to my higher self?
« Reply #2 on: March 05, 2014, 09:06:56 AM »
Mokey - I know this path well, because I trod it some 40 odd years ago. The voice is that of your central Self which creates dreams, and it has broken through the usually barriers that most people have and spoken to you. In 1972 I heard such a voice. One night I had woken because I needed to go to the toilet. Just as I was approaching my bed again I heard a voice speaking to me. It was very clear and seemed to come from everywhere in the room. It said, ‘You have asked how God touches a human life. Now watch closely.’ 
 
This was an extraordinary experience and nothing like it had happened to me before, so I was naturally fascinated to see what happened. I couldn’t sleep that night, expecting something else as dramatic to occur. Nothing did, but shortly afterwards I began to experience the release of painful emotions and memories from years back. It was like being cleansed. This went on for years and led to a full meeting with God. It was my first experience of LifeStream. See Life’s Little Secrets

Your voice said for you to eat, and my comments need to be held but not grasped in case they do no apply to you, but often in inner experiences that were about eating what was indicated was taking in all life experiences, pleasure, pain, passion, quietness, food, love, everything life puts before you - eat it.

The voice that told you that you only have a year to live - take my comments as above - is the story of the inner path. You must die before you can be born a new being. I know it sounds sometime preposterous, but it can really happen to you, that you will go through and - inner - death experience.

The following is a quote from Individuation. “Dreams, when they are the great creations of high awareness, suggest the cosmos arose out of a huge death – the big bang – a death planned out of love so that we might exist. Meeting death while alive – relinquishing all we have considered to be the reason for our personal existence – dropping the urge to grasp what has been the goals of ones life, such as sex, money, power, self expression – brings a new life in which we realise our intimate oneness with life. And although this seems like an end as we enter it, as we die to it, the vastness of it promises new and wondrous life. This is an end to the life we have led up to that point. But ends are beginnings in the wider life. For at our very centre is the ever shifting mystery that is life itself.”

I cannot comment on your dreams at the moment. But take heart and it will be okay with you - you are not about to leave your body for you have a lot more that life wants you to do.

Tony

mokey

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Re: Connecting to my higher self?
« Reply #3 on: March 05, 2014, 03:13:40 PM »
Thank you very much for your wisdom, as always.

I've not had any real fear about my life ending, of me dying, which I thought I probably would and so your words make sense, coupled with the dream I had a few months ago which you interpreted for me where I was turning upside down.

I do feel as though I've been in limbo for the last 3-4 years, I still feel in that state now so for my life as it is to end and a new one to begin would make sense and be very welcome.

I write a diary each day and I have noted that a lot of my entries over the recent months have been about letting go of people and situations that no longer serve me.

I'm including my most recent dream here just for your interest. Don't feel you need to interpret as I feel I understand its meaning anyway. I think you'll agree it ties in with letting go and moving  on.


Barney (ex-husband that I still have a lot of ties with) is leaving to go and live in Cornwall. We have to drive down with him in his car, it will take 5 hours. Just as we're about to set off I see my cousin Linda. I'm supposed to be going round her house tonight but realise I won't be back in time. She is outside Asda having bought some cheese slices. She tells me that she's going to be making something with the cheese for tonight, possibly meatballs. I tell her that I have to go to Cornwall with Barney and that I'm not sure if I'll be back in time to make it. She understands even though the night was important to us. As I say it I realise that I won't have any way of getting home from Cornwall as we're in Barney's car so ask him how. He says that I will be getting the train back.

Barney, Poppy (mine and Barney's daughter) and I are on a train on the way to Cornwall. We are sat in a modern carriage with no windows. I wonder why we're sat in the first place we come to rather than looking for someone nicer to sit. As I look around I see how old fashioned everything is. In place of the modern carriage, it now appears to be set in the olden days. Everything is in a sepia tone (whereas before it was colour) and there are people in old fashioned dress sat at round tables. I feel a sense of sadness and fear about Barney going to Cornwall and my Dad being in Weymouth (my Dad recently moved there)  and realise that I will be all alone. I wonder how I will cope when something goes wrong or needs fixing and I feel scared at the thought of how alone and empty my life will be.

Someone comes to the table that I am sat at, they are giving out presents. I see Harry (my nephew)  in front of me before he returns to his seat. I have been handed a tall wicker basket, when I look inside, the bottom is missing but I know that somehow, when I put stuff in it, it will manage to hold it. I know I need to fill the basket with tiny dried petals. I think I know where the petals are so I get up and go to a room just behind me, it is dark and dingy but this is where the petals are kept, in a container on a bar,  (I feel like I'm in a saloon) except when I look, I seem to be unable to get the petals. I walk along the carriage/saloon and spot all of Tay's kids (my nieces and nephews) sat around a big round table, Harry is the dominant one. Someone says something to me about presents, I reply in a desperate voice, "I don't want presents, I just want the flowers." They seem to be so out of my reach.

I woke with the song, "My Bonnie lies over the ocean" in my head.


Thank you again. I really appreciate the time you've taken to reply.