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Author Topic: Me trying to die  (Read 4910 times)

Patricia

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Me trying to die
« on: June 04, 2014, 06:13:10 PM »
 Hi Tony, I would like to know your observations on this dream. You had suggested on a previous interpretation to let myself die in my dreams to be able to access the heaven garden or to re-birth. Then my question was how to know that I'm dreaming so I can let myself die? It is hard to die when we don't know we're dreaming. Then the other night I had sort of an answer to that question. I dreamed about a woman sleeping next to me in my bed, two times. The second time I realized that I if I saw somebody in my bed while sleeping, it was because I was dreaming, because I sleep by myself. So once I knew I was dreaming, once in my dream, I remembered the importance of letting myself die, rather than to be scared of death. I appear walking in an open space and I saw a street full of traffic, so I thought I could walk to the cars and let them hit me so I could die. As I walked, my ex-boyfriend appears walking next to me, I tell him, if you see an accident, don't be scared. And I continued approaching the cars knowing that I will not suffer the impact cause I'm dreaming. He didn't let me do it once we were close to the traffic. On another scene, I am on a roller coaster with my sister. I think, well, this could be a good death too, if this falls down. So pretty soon I don't see my sister and nobody else with me, so I am alone and I prepare myself to fall off and feel the impact and die. But when I am about to touch the ground, my body, which is falling, slows down, so there is no impact. I start walking. It is huge place, like a park, but people are far away and there is sand on the ground, like a desert. I find a lonely place and fell backwards, so I could die by hitting my head against the ground. This time I almost made it. After the impact, I start to die, my legs and body start to get hard and I thought my soul was going to come out, so I relax... and I experience that a little bit, but then a young guy found me and he immediately called for help on me, so I had to get up and go to other place. I observe very dark clouds coming over quickly covering the sky, so it will be dark and then it starts to rain, so instead of running to the other day side, i stayed under the clouds thinking that the hard rain will make it easy for me to die, as there is some lightening too. I walked under a tree, but then I changed my direction cause I will be all wet. I ended up looking for a lonely place between some buildings where there are families and more people. But I can't find the way to die, so I come into a bar and as I know I'm dreaming, I hit a man, thinking that he won't feel it or that my hands will pass his body like if he were invisible for I'm dreaming, but for my surprise, my hands feel his body and don't go through. I walked in the bar and the bar tender prepares a drink for me and I didn't want it cause I think I don't want to be drink when I die, but he forced me drink it, so I have to and then I start to throw up in purpose so the people in the bar will feel disgust. I came out the bar with vomit running out my mouth. I didn't care, I was dreaming. Then I appear in an academy and I stretch my legs, as I train as a dancer, I open my legs in a way that I can when awake, but since I am dreaming, I do it and don't feel pain. I would love to know your comments on this dream. I guess I'm trying to do the exercises you have suggested me. However, when I woke up, I remembered that beyond the exercise to die in my dreams, I struggle for a long time, while growing up, with a desire or necessity of committing suicide. I tried it when I was 15 and I struggle at being alive after my 30s, so I thought about commenting suicide again for a long time. Thinking about jumping in the traffic was a thought I had when young and after my 30s. Thank you.     

Tony Crisp

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Re: Me trying to die
« Reply #1 on: June 05, 2014, 09:50:57 AM »
Patricia - I think you are trying too hard. The death I am mentioning but didn’t really describe, is one that does not come from your conscious will but from you Life Will - a spontaneous act. See  http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/what-we-need-to-remember-about-us-3/#Important

That sort of death is about the death of one form so another you can emerge, and it cannot happen from willing it consciously. Did you try the exercise http://dreamhawk.com/body-and-mind/the-arm-circling-meditation/ which is an exercise in letting things happen without you willing them. So I think it would be a good idea to say to yourself, “I am ready to go and I am waiting without any desire.”

Anyway, it will happen in its own time. But willing it is like suicide, and life isn’t yours to take. You nor your mother created you. The action of Life does it all, and when IT is ready it will lead you through death to a new life.

Tony
« Last Edit: June 13, 2014, 07:36:00 AM by Tony Crisp »

Patricia

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Re: Me trying to die
« Reply #2 on: June 13, 2014, 01:40:25 AM »
thank you.