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Author Topic: Can you suggest and help me?  (Read 4309 times)

Tony Crisp

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Can you suggest and help me?
« on: June 08, 2011, 02:44:11 PM »
That was a post put in the Boyfriend section of Dream Dictionary. She asked - Neena - I would like to grow past this because at this time I feel abandoned in many respects. Any suggestions?

So I did my best and wrote:


Neena – I am so delighted that you asked for suggestions. I realise from a long life that is all they can be. I believe that we are like a plant with roots searching for exactly what it needs. Sometimes it is only a few words that catch us and we retain forever. So here are some of my suggestions.

1.   Although we may have traumas buried in us, do not go in search of them. Each trauma or powerful life experience gives rise to habits, and habits are easy to find everywhere. No need to dig. So confront your habits and your traumas, if any, will rise before you.

2.   The feelings of jealousy you mentioned is actually a habit and is not a ‘natural’ reaction that many people take it for. So whenever it arises literally stop what you are doing and confront it. Think or say to your self, “This is an old habit of reaction started in my childhood. I want to grow out of this, and will replace jealousy/anger/frustration/failure etc with what I can feel when I am my best self. I know it will take practice, but it is just a habit like any other habit and can be learned like riding a bike.” Each time you confront it will be easier to get to the other side. See http://dreamhawk.com/inner-life/habits/ and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYYXq1Ox4sk  

3.   Allow any emotions that arise as you grow. Emotions are not you, but they are a wonderful way of learning a lot of truths about your past and present – even future. If you can allow any spontaneous movement, shaking, shivering and watch it to see what it is saying. If you can do this it goes through stages. The most deeply buried hurts are physiological/psychosomatic. As they emerge they are first movement such as shaking or shivering. The next level is gestural. The movements will become gestures, cowering, hurt, avoidance etc. The third level if we allow it is the dream level – in waking not in sleep. The action then become a full acting out of something that was deeply unconscious, with sound, emotions, and actions. But remember this is still only a symbolic acting out – as dreams are. Then, if you do not get trapped in the symbols of dreams, you come to full understanding and insight as the whole thing rises into consciousness. See http://dreamhawk.com/approaches-to-being/the-lifestream/

4.   You are the sum total of your past. If you stop blaming your present experience on others it gives you a wonderful opportunity to create a new future. Today, this hour, this moment is the most miraculous thing. What you do today, this hour, this moment reaches far into the future in an unbelievable way. If you are honest you can trace back your present predicament to the past. So your present attitudes, actions, thoughts, love or lack of it is creating your future.

5.   Remember that you are far more than you currently believe. You are Life, expressing now, this moment. Look around at what Life can do. It can express as an amazing number of forms and in amazing environments. That infinite potential is at the Core of you. For more information about the wonder of you see: http://dreamhawk.com/health-and-healing/notes-for-touching-your-core-self/ and http://www.ted.com/talks/jill_bolte_taylor_s_powerful_stroke_of_insight.html

Tony
« Last Edit: June 20, 2011, 09:06:26 AM by Tony Crisp »

pimuli

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Re: Can you suggest and help me?
« Reply #1 on: June 19, 2011, 06:33:12 PM »
Hi Tony,

Great suggestions - I have a question about one of the points: the shivering you talk about. Often I feel when I wake up that something is being processed and is rising up from the un/subconscious; I feel "shaky" and a little hyper/jittery/nervous. Often "the storm" will break in the evening, the issues will surface and I have the chance to clear it and heal it. Would this be a case of the shivering you describe?

/Pia

Tony Crisp

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Re: Can you suggest and help me?
« Reply #2 on: June 20, 2011, 10:31:52 AM »
Pia – Yes, it sounds as if you are allowing self regulation or homeostasis. In other words your core self is pushing up thing that need to be sorted. It can start exactly as you describe it. This was the main thing that I defined over many years – but here is a summary of how it works. I now call it LifeStream rather than self regulation. (Sorry I am so long winded, but I really want you to undeerstand how this wonderful power to heal yourself works.)

•   Self-regulation is fundamental to all cosmic activities and life forms.
•   In humans it acts both at a physical and a psychological level.
•   It assures survival.
•   It is partly a spontaneous process and is partly learned.
•   Most self-regulation occurs unconsciously, and learning to cooperate with its action is a learned skill.
•   Such skill enlarges ones possibilities.
•   Vomiting and digestion are functions of physical self-regulation.
•   The rising into consciousness of emotions and experience for integration and re-evaluation are functions of psychological self-regulation.
•   The process of self regulation is constantly attempting to present past traumas and 'held down 7's' for integration and healing so we can move toward positive growth. However, there are forces of resistance to this active in us, and these have to be overcome if we are to succeed in becoming whole.
•   Pain and such feelings as fear and guilt frequently cause us to prevent experience and emotions from emerging into consciousness,, as do holding on to dogmatic views and physical tensions.
•   Freud showed that if a person is afraid of sexual feelings their sexuality is repressed even in their dreams.
•   Such deeply repressed feelings cause psychological and physical tension and illness.
•   Allowing spontaneous body and feeling fantasy allows the emotions and experience held in the unconscious to be released, evaluated and integrated.
•   At points where fear or pain usually block the process one can decisively allow the self-regulatory process to continue.
•   Because this allows previously unrealised experience to be known, an enlargement of our personal self awareness occurs.

In 1900 Charles Richet a French physiologist wrote:
The living being is stable. It must be so in order not to be destroyed, dissolved or disintegrated by the colossal forces, often adverse, which surround it. By an apparent contradiction it maintains its stability only if it is excitable and capable of modifying itself according to external stimuli and adjusting its responses to the stimulation. In a sense it is stable because it is modifiable — the slight instability is the necessary condition for the true stability of the organism.
This is why we sometimes shake or our emotions erupt.

Tony

pimuli

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Re: Can you suggest and help me?
« Reply #3 on: June 20, 2011, 01:16:40 PM »
Thank you for being so thorough, Tony, that really helped!
I've been experiencing this kind of quite intense "surfacing" for just over 18 months now; in the beginning I often thought (or, my ego at least did) I would die. I used to get so tense and nervous or even have unconsious stress about it being clumsy, poor hand-eye coordination etc. as an issue worked itself to the surface of the mind. I also would sedate myself and still the fear by eating, trying to shut down the emotional system by activating the physical. Now it's all much more manageable as I'm familiar with the symptoms and the progress, but it can still be both frustrating and unnerving, especially if I don't have the time to just stop what I'm doing and sit/lie down. I'm very happy that this is a sign of homeostasis; sometimes I feel there's no end to the "detox". :) I guess a lot of the debris is also from past lives, even though the surfacing is catalyzed by a trigger in this lifetime. 

/Pia