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Author Topic: Sexual Murder  (Read 4313 times)

Tony Crisp

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Sexual Murder
« on: December 28, 2014, 12:46:51 PM »
Dreamt that I seemed to be in Victorian or Edwardian era. A child had seen ghosts. It was a secret though. It mustn't tell because it would incriminate or give away a young man and woman. An older man in their presence cleverly questioned the child - suggests more than questioned. The child relives the scene it saw - a room full of men’s hips and legs with the trunk cut off and missing. I feel this means psychological cut off. 

The scene is now an Edwardian type brothel. I am witnessing, at first somewhat repulsed. A man is on a double bed with an erect penis being played with - sort of ping-pong game. As I watched there is some suggestion of a girl who was injured by “therapy murder”.  The man is judged as ready and the woman in charge moves to him to complete sexual intercourse. 

Now the girl is undressed and shows me the enormous scar at the lumbar region. At first I see this through filmy knickers. She says it has been opened up by sexual intercourse. As I look she takes her pants off and a terrible scar lies across her spine. It must have originally severed her spine to cause the sort of cut off hips and legs of the men. She tells me this is the result of the attack of “therapy murder”. Her experience must have been terrible I feel, because the marks of her pants and jeans are burnt into her skin like she has been near a Hiroshima type explosion. 

Tony Crisp

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Re: Sexual Murder
« Reply #1 on: December 28, 2014, 12:53:18 PM »
The mans dream was from 1982 taken from a dream journal he kept. The comments below are his own.

On working on the above dream, the cut off legs are the ghosts or habit patterns of the many times I have cut off my sexuality because of the misery it caused. But the acceptance of the sex impulse - the brothel - and acceptance of my own twisted self or injury, a healing or ease comes about. This is the young woman with the scar. She is my feelings self - therapy murder because, when I could find no cure, I decided to “cut it off” - like a surgeon would to a gangrenous leg.

I worked on the therapy murder more fully and came to a really powerful experience of it befitting the strength of the dream. In it I was looking at the sickness of sexuality in our society - the brothel - and saw how as a nation we don’t want to admit it as sickness. We accept the strip shows, pawn shops, prostitution, rampant homosexual activity, as parts of our permissive or accepting society. It’s suave to accept. But we accept because we don’t want to take a look at ourselves as individuals, individuals who make up this group. We would rather blame it on to somebody else - it’s then - the youth - the crux - the coloureds. Well it is, isn’t it? We still have the ghost of the middle class, or upper class ideal of the English culture and family life of loving devotion and romance. We've got it, but at what a terrible price - prostitution, pornography, strip clubs. 

And the murder is me trying to heal myself, trying to conform to a society that is flagrantly sick. I thought I was sick. I’ve got a healthy alive sexuality, but because it doesn’t conform to the English middle class norm, I’ve being trying to cure it. 

And this leads into our political attitudes - I felt power in their unadmitted sickness, that produces more and more young men and women who are non-functioning human animals, incapable of a sexual relationship and so moving toward homosexuality. Incapable of having a family, of working, of producing a situation in which there is a work ethic in education - but no work for the people it trains. 

- anna -

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Re: Sexual Murder
« Reply #2 on: December 31, 2014, 10:03:49 AM »
Quote
http://dreamhawk.com/forums/index.php?topic=3569.msg7883#msg7883
.........all I am is there for you as you are ready to receive, for you are part of the force that grows and shapes me.


Tony - I perceived the quoted part of your other post and this post as indirect ways to bring things to the
table and I do not like that.

I wish you "einen guten Rutsch" into 2015 and all the best that is available to you.

Anna

Tony Crisp

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Re: Sexual Murder
« Reply #3 on: December 31, 2014, 10:54:02 AM »
Anna - I am not a thinking person who says, "I will bring this to the Forum's notice."

I do what I feel usually. When I came across the quote I felt I wanted to share it. It is a valid part of my life, a few stones making up the mosaic.

Another part of the mosaic that I came across today was something I said with full feeling to a lifelong friend, "I am a silly old man, and I think I will live another few years - but what the fuck, I am already dead and gone to heaven."

Tony

- anna -

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Re: Sexual Murder
« Reply #4 on: December 31, 2014, 11:02:34 AM »

Tony - If you do not question what you feel, you might as well be driven by an autonomous complex.
If you like the direction it takes you, there is nothing wrong with that I suppose and since it is a
direction you have to go without me I suppose there is nothing wrong with that either.
Enjoy it  :)

Anna

Tony Crisp

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Re: Sexual Murder
« Reply #5 on: January 01, 2015, 08:52:25 AM »
Anna - I suppose it is all what we take words to mean.

Tony

- anna -

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Re: Sexual Murder
« Reply #6 on: January 01, 2015, 11:41:04 AM »

Tony -  Thank you, once again, for enabling me through our sharing to become aware of so many errors I made in the past and so helping me to choose differently in this now.

Anna
« Last Edit: May 06, 2015, 03:46:29 PM by - anna - »

Tony Crisp

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Re: Sexual Murder
« Reply #7 on: January 02, 2015, 08:13:55 AM »
Anna - By the way, you latest painting/illustration is a striking mandala.

Tony