Taking the time to read and think and focus

[Rand]

I am the world's worst at not following through with my education. Occasionally, I come upon something I get a lot of joy and inspiration from, but like the old quote..most men casually stumble on the truth and casually pass it by. I think it is because we become so ingrained with too many things. In fact, I think we may have lost some wisdom over the years because of our advancements in society. There is simply too much noise today. There is noise from industry, people, cars, families. I think everyone is in that same boat, sort of fighting to keep paddling their canoes. It is for certain, we are thrown into the world around us and we are good at adapting. It is no wonder though, people can get off kilter. I have been reading some literature recently given to me by a psychiatrist that deals with IFS therapy. In short, it talks about getting to the real you where you are centered. There are terms like exiles and protectors, most of it based on fear of being you. The other is solely focused on how the brain operates and stores memories (neurology based). It can store memories or patterns you can't remember in your short term memory(many of them are not useful in current life but they formed a pattern) but your conscious and long term memories like to do comparisons like a template to see how you handle it or retrieve a record like in a database. I think dreams are the key to unlock all that but it is complicated. The dreams will always tell the truth though. The problem is you can be so complicated, you may not always discern.

With a little awareness, we soon realize the world around us in chaos in addition to all the other challenges just primitive life throws at you. The world has economy problems, the world has war. Families have dysfunction, people have physical ailments, people suffer.

I was going to try to revise and edit this but the pizza is here, my dog is barking, the wife is asking questions, and the television talking about deflated footballs and some guy saying I am just here so I won't get fined.

[Rand]

I forgot to say, I appreciate Tony and will admit I have not taken the time to read and digest some of the material. Thanks Tony though, I will try and can only handle things as I am able to discern them.

[Rand]

I forgot to tell you, I am not reading that stuff because I want to. My wife is sick with anxiety. She just now read a plaque on our wall which was the prayer of St Francis of Assisi. Make me an instrument of your peace, Where there is hatred, let me show love, Where there is injury, pardon. Where there is doubt, faith, Where there is despair, hope. Where there is darkness, light. Where there is sadness, joy. Divine , grant that i may not so much seek to be consoled, but to console others. Not so much to be understood, but to understand others. It is giving we receive, when we pardon, we are pardoned, it is in dying we learn to truly live.

Now she is back saying, how do I do it by myself, how do I cure myself.

Tough one.

[Tony Crisp]

Rand - I think life sometimes has to get so bad that you cannot help getting up off the couch and doing something about your life. That’s my story anyway. I felt so awful and wanted to kill myself to end the misery. But I had children and had seen what happens to many kids when their dad does something like that.

I slowly learned that most of our miseries come because we are an animal that is no longer in its natural environment and we have developed self awareness, which is a real burden for many people. I look in many people’s shopping trolleys and see expensive bottles of alcohol, pain killers and many are on antidepressants or street drugs and in psychiatric hospitals - all signs of distress.

So in trying to describe what little I learnt that took me out of misery, and out of the rat race, I wrote several pieces such as the following. But of course you cannot climb out of a pit without some effort. So see http://dreamhawk.com/approaches-to-being/questions-2/#Victim - http://dreamhawk.com/approaches-to-being/lifes-little-secrets/ - http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/integration-meeting-oneself/

Tony

[Rand]

I wanted to add something. It might be relevant or not. What I was thinking is a lot of people simply don't try to understand more than just what they see on the surface. So, the more you gain understandings yourself, it seems you become more isolated or not understanding of others. I don't think it is bad or unsolveable because ultimately your goal is to relate to others and help them. If you have not advanced to that stage though, you could find yourselves with various shallow peoples. Now. What I want to tell you is I am always the peacemaker. I learned this by accident a few times when I was young. There was a large football game during recess with over a 100 kids playing. Something happened and it turned into a large dispute. Before I realized what was going on, I was standing with the football in my hand listening to both sides present their various grievances and arguments. They were angry. I never thought about it at the time, but it scared me later. How come I was out there, I had no special qualification. It happened many other times in life too. So, now. Anna, Irina you will be fine. It is fun talking to people isn't it and Tony is wonderful.

I am country boy and like music. Don't worry bout me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_lQuRQ8YU8

[Irina]

I always was amazed by this
 "Where words fail, music speaks"
Hans Christian Andersen

http://vimeo.com/107908599

[Irina]

Hello Rand 
I forgot to tell you something important

You Have a Big Heart

[Rand]

Thank you Irina. Of course I like a compliment. I enjoyed your music video.   

[- anna -]

Rand  I do not relate well to all kind of people and I am okay with that. Such is Life.
And no, I did not consider it funny. Such is Life too.

And I did understand and I did not feel isolated.

I had no need for your "peace effort", but thanks anyway 

Anna :-)

PS

If you have not advanced to that stage though, you could find yourselves with various shallow peoples

I do not share your perception.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zLx_JtcQVI 

[Rand]

I was trying to articulate something and i didn't quite do it. You are fine Anna though. I am not sure I understand it myself.

"What I was thinking is a lot of people simply don't try to understand more than just what they see on the surface. So, the more you gain understandings yourself, it seems you become more isolated or not understanding of others. I don't think it is bad or unsolveable because ultimately your goal is to relate to others and help them. If you have not advanced to that stage though, you could find yourselves with various shallow peoples."

maybe it is quiet efforts we take sometimes

I think I was thinking about the difficulty of taking on the difficult task of deeper understandings. Of course, this fits with my personality because I am capable of doing it but I don't want to because it seems painful to me for some reason. Maybe it all fits that way. You are interesting and I enjoy it. Of course, don't let me change anything about you.

Tony says language is hard to understand. That is true. I love horses. I understood every word they said in this song, but it is odd some of the words they use. When I was young, our father had a horse who was a wild bronco. He was thrown and broke his arm. He ended up selling him to a fellow, Jim Shoulders. He became a world famous cowboy. The horse name , we called him ole Tarzan.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gu51oBUuJl0

a regular outlaw

[- anna -]

Rand  I have often experienced that I did not understand my own writing from the start and by making it into a quiet inner job, I managed to sort it out for myself.

I have also experienced that the fear for the pain is worse than the pain. I mainly used to hide my pain for that is what I had learned as a child in order to survive. It is a process to let go and it takes time and I have learned to be more patient with myself.

I do not only listen to language, I also listen to the energy beyond the words, which says often more than the words that are used.

It is not always easy to express yourself clearly and directly, especially not when what you write is still halfway between unconsciousness and becoming aware.
And I am always changing Rand. I am not the woman I was yesterday and tomorrow I will not be the woman anymore I was today. I can meet myself anew, over and over again and perhaps that is what you perceive as interesting?

I liked the song and I like Marty's voice; it is deep and warm. (the sound of this song was of higher quality than the first one you posted  ) I did not get every word of the song and that is okay, for I am Dutch.

I love horses too and they are great teachers, for they mirror what goes on inside us. I used to ride horses for many years and when I was not convinced about what I asked the horse to do, it would not consider me as its leader and was more likely to refuse to do what I had asked.
Their sensing is perfectly developed.

A few weeks ago I saw a documentation about Buck Brannaman.
http://buckthefilm.com/content.htm

“Your horse is a mirror to your soul, and sometimes you may not like what you see. Sometimes, you will.” So says Buck Brannaman, a true American cowboy and sage on horseback who travels the country for nine grueling months a year helping horses with people problems.

In my next life I want to be a horse whisperer; helping horses with people problems. 
In this life I will continue to learn to help myself.

Anna :-)

PS You may not understand the words, but this voice I like too 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0__81n6Fts0

[Tony Crisp]

I have never said that we are an animal - except yes we are very like our wonderful younger brothers and sisters having similar sexual organs, brain structures and instinctive habits, like electing a leader, killing others who are not in our pack, and generally being unconscious of the wonderful potential we have.

I believe, if you read what I have said widely enough, that we are everything from the most physical to the highest. That is why in the New Testament it shows the highest is born in a stable with animals, and why we still have to start at the very lowest with the slime of our parents mating. But we are born with something so precious and it is usually not recognised.

Tony

[- anna -]

Tony  It is only now that I can understand it. Some things do need time to sink in 
Thanks.

Yes, when we operate from our mammal brain, we are like a wolf pack:

http://www.runningwiththewolves.org/Behavior1.htm

I do trust that awareness is the first step.

Anna :-)

[- anna -]

Tony - I can also see now that when we make the next step from operating from our mammal brain towards operating from our human brain and we do not recognize our projections, we will still kill, only this time we will only believe that those we kill do not belong to our pack.

http://dreamhawk.com/forums/index.php?topic=3724.msg8139#msg8139

In the past ages everything was projected outwardly. It worked, in sometimes terrible ways, by burning and slaughtering thousands accused of being evil. See http://www.amersham.org.uk/tour/martyrs.htm

So working from our human brain is another step in our evolution without having changed the habits yet of our mammal brain and so the step does not show yet in the outside world.

We did not change much yet since we killed "the witches", for we still kill each other, be it physically or psychologically and so we still have a lot of inner work to do.

Anna :-)

[Tony Crisp]

Anna - We are doing it bit by bit.

Tony