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Author Topic: Too much to carry and threatening to swear in French  (Read 5936 times)

jacquiemayotte

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Too much to carry and threatening to swear in French
« on: January 30, 2015, 10:09:14 AM »
Thierry( my ex-companion) is working for some kind of boss  and he is carrying a big load  . I can see him walking  with  a big pile in his arms. I feel upset for him  and I tell him that I am going to swear in French at these people  and that they better be careful and behave well.


Tony Crisp

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Re: Too much to carry and threatening to swear in French
« Reply #1 on: January 30, 2015, 10:30:22 AM »
Jacquie - Knowing your story and your relationship with Thierry I feel that you are the one carrying the load which is because you boss yourself about because you struggle with what is right or wrong. You have a pile of reactions in you, and it will be a good thing to swear at all the stuff you are carrying.

After all it is not your responsibility - he is a grown man.

Tony

jacquiemayotte

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Re: Too much to carry and threatening to swear in French
« Reply #2 on: January 30, 2015, 01:16:01 PM »
True  Tony , at the moment it feels good  swearing at all the stuff I  have been carrying for years; at the moment I am looking at the notion of what is right or wrong and questioning it. ;)

Tony Crisp

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Re: Too much to carry and threatening to swear in French
« Reply #3 on: February 01, 2015, 09:24:52 AM »
Jacquie - Religion with its right and wrong can be a terrible burden and the cause of much sickness.

I don't know if you were there at the early years of LifeStream, but I had one session where it felt that I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders - literally I had a whole world on my shoulders. I couldn't carry such a weight and collapsed on the floor unable to move. Slowly something from deep within me began to cause my body to twitch and slowly a strength emerged from within that enabled me to stand up and throw that world of my back into space. It took me three months to realise what it meant. It was the whole world of crazy religious beliefs I had inherited that was leading me to be ill. That didn't kill religion as it rose from within me, just the crazy and rigid beliefs.

Tony

jacquiemayotte

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Re: Too much to carry and threatening to swear in French
« Reply #4 on: February 01, 2015, 10:13:18 AM »
Hi Tony!
I took part in Lifestream with you from 198O , and  what I've  learnt is still very present . I can very much tune in.
And what you say about religion is very  important . I' ve lived for the past 5 years in Muslim countries and there  was and still  alot to learn , specially because there is, where I live in Mayotte a lot of animism. That means that people tend to tune in in the unseen world in a very cultural way as part of their everydaylife .
Furthermore in Muslim beliefs, dreams are very important.And when I say I work on dreams, people show a lot of respect and it opens doors . But I find as well that a lot of people live in some kind of straightjacket because of the weight of religious beliefs, this is true for me ; but  I have seen it very much at work with other people here.As for me because I was born unwanted, and without an official father in an Italian background it had an enormous implication. I had no name.And I felt guilty.

Tony Crisp

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Re: Too much to carry and threatening to swear in French
« Reply #5 on: February 02, 2015, 09:52:59 AM »
Jacquie - We are all have so many feelings, like keys that can be pressed, and when pressed by outer influences such as social pressure, beliefs or things said to us, we can be played like merry or awful tune. We react to them all in various ways.

And nearly all reactions are habits, and the trick of shifting them is to start a new habit. Habits are hard to get rid of, but can be done. I remember when my first wife divorced me because I had left her I was told many things such as what a bad father and husband I was, and how could I do it to my children. So each time I visited my children - almost every day - when I left the house it felt like my world had collapsed and also I felt that my new wife was like a prostitute who had tempted me away from my children - despite the fact that they visited us almost daily. My children were so important to me that the idea that I was a bad father tore me apart. I recalled a man living down the road from us who had left his children and married again. I asked him how he managed it. He said that he had killed any thoughts and feelings about them. That was not for me.

I suffered that torment for years, messing up my life, until a dream showed me what I had been doing. I had thought the pain and misery was from some earlier trauma, but could not find one. And the dream showed me that it wasn’t a trauma but cultural programming that said that I was a bad father, and also a bad husband, both true from a certain viewpoint.

The view that I was shown by the dream was that my pain was from habits created by the culture I grew up in. I realised that I could create a new life by changing the habits of a life time. So every time I left the house and the old habits started tearing me apart again I stopped just outside the door and looked at them. I had tried positive thinking and that didn’t work. What I saw and reminded myself was that I had gone down that road a thousand times and it always led to self destruction. So by seeing it I decided to change the habit and reminding my self, not that I was a wonderful person, but that I was a human man, who did not want to make his wife suffer from my awful moods, and also I saw from the dream that we are always free to go in any direction, and that sense of freedom enabled me to start a new life.

It didn’t happen suddenly, but each day it got easier until I walked in peace. It was the recognition that my state of mind led me to self destruction every time it took that road that resolved me to change outside the door. See - http://dreamhawk.com/inner-life/habits/

Tony