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Author Topic: Relentless Snake  (Read 2198 times)

horizen

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Relentless Snake
« on: February 15, 2015, 04:24:00 AM »
The dream begins with me outside on a patio with several people.  Center stage seems to be a popular singer lounging in a white beach chair.  He is totally relaxed, luxuriating even, in this chair.  He's leaning back, fully reclined, totally luxuriating in front of everyone as if he's at a spa.  All he needs is the little drink with the umbrella in it.  I observe this, his total ease with claiming the room as if its his. Not caring about all the people around or comporting himself in our presence.  I certainly wouldn't be all splayed out and broadcasting to all such comfortability with my body.  We aren't at a spa.  It's not a bunch of people that know each other all that well.  Its a shared space of strangers and aquaintances.  Its not his patio, but a shared common area. There was something about his doing this right in the middle of all of us that made me wonder about what type of man this guy was.  This cockiness, this blatant basking in luxury without seeming to regard anyone around him.  Either he was VERY at ease with himself and could easily relax in front of anyone and this was an enviable trait, OR, and this is what I really suspected, he was a narcissist, a selfish, self-absorbed man.  I thought that was most likely it, didn't have energy to waste anymore thought on it, and turned away and left.  (I should note that this singer looks like a guy that liked me, who I'd rejected because I did believe him to be spoiled jerk). 

I turned on my heels and left this scene.  Left the patio and started walking away.  I walked outside along a sandy undeveloped road/path.  I am heading towards the ocean. It was more like a trail than a road, an undeveloped or worn road.   with patches of grass and pebbles, and mostly sand.  This is supposed to be a vacation area, but it is not to my liking.  Its not remote enough.  I see telephone or utility poles.  The signs of people and buildings and their dirty presence is felt.  Its not a beautiful, remote, or pristine beach.  Its not far enough away from the usual muck of civilization for me to feel free or replenished.  I don't feel like I'm "getting away" from anything at this "vacation" beach town.  Nevertheless, I'm determined to get to the shore, to touch the ocean water.  I keep walking toward it. 

I reach the shore.  I let the tide run up to me a few times.  I don't feel the connection I should feel to this wonderful earth meets water presence.  I don't feel invigorated or refreshed or connected to it like I expected to.  In fact, I watch the ocean and see it surging with greater power with each wave that rushes up to me.  I feel wary, that danger is pending.  It could sweep me up and drag me out to sea.  I love to admire the ocean, but I cannot swim.  I don't want to get dragged into something I can't escape and drown. Therefore, due to the growing strength and turbulence of the ocean, the possible danger, plus my inability to be truly in the moment and at one with the environment anyway, I turn and leave.  I head back up to the sandy trails. 

Walking away.  As I do so a medium to large sized snake slithers directly toward me.  Its eyes and attention are focused on me in a determined way.  It is a red snake.  Which to me is a sign of danger, as somewhere I recalled the brightly colored varieties are poisionous.  Its not a bright, bright red, only because its color has been a bit dulled by the sandy dirt it writhes in.  But clearly it is a red snake.  Which portends danger and death to me.  I move to get away from it.  However, this thing is driven.  I move away again, and again.  Yet, this snake keeps re-doubling its forces and slithering straight to me.   It keeps getting so close to me.  Too close.  I realize I can't just trot away from it like I'd planned.  It's too close for that.  Is there something wrong with my legs that I can't run away from it fast enough?  Its like my body is slower or weighted down, energy wise.  Or maybe its too late, its just too close for me to run away.  I realize I can't out run it.  It would get me.  So plan number two is to throw sand at it to get it to turn away.  It works for about a second; the sand in the eyes act deters it for a moment, but then its quickly locking its eyes on me and heading right for me once again.  This thing is only 1-3 feet away from me the whole time.  Sometimes it is mere inches away from my hand.  But I quickly scoop up more sand with my hands and hurl it at the snakes head.  I just want it to go away and leave me alone.  I don't want to hurt it.  I just wanted to get away from it.  Now I just want it to go away.  Back and forth several times, it advances (nearly touching me, almost right up on me) but I am able to scrape up the only tool I have in my defense (the sandy dirt road) and fling it at its face.  But this snake is relentlessly pursuing me.  Its unrelenting.  It gets closer everytime.  Finally I realize I can't stave it off any longer.  The thing is going to get me.  I'll have to do something else.  What I'm loathe to do.  Its now too close to me for me to fling anything at it.  No time to scoop up sand.  Its practically right up ON me. Just as its about to touch me I grab its head and hold it out away from me so the jaws can't bite me.  I wanted to avoid touching it at all costs, but I had no choice.  I fling it away from me with all my might.  Which turns out only to be a foot or two.  And it swivels its body right back around and comes at me again.  So I get it by the head once again and fling it away from me as far as I can.  Once again, turns out to be not that far.  I am not physically strong or my energy is weakened or something.  This repeats a few more times.  I realize I can't get away from this thing.  I'm not strong enough to throw it away far enough so that I can escape.  Its right back up on me almost instantly.  So I do what I absolutely detest, and only because its down to my life or its life.  No one is here to save me. There is no help.  I'm on my own.  This time when I catch ahold of its head, I don't attempt to toss it away.  That isn't working. Instead I squeeze as hard as I can until the poor things head is squashed in in several places.  Once I see I did it enough damage, then I fling it away.  Its still alive, but I know its only a matter of time.  I feel sickened to have done that to a living creature.  Even if it was a predator.  I'm relieved the struggle is over, that I'm alive, I've survived the attack.  But sickened that my own hands inflicted pain on a living creature and that it will likely die on the side of the road now.  My thoughts turn to fear, aloneness, and also hopelessness.  If I had someone with me they could have protected me.  I could have gotten away without harming anything.  In fact, I probably wouldn't have attracted the predator to begin with had I not been out here alone.  But I felt hopeless and closed off to letting anyone in.  By the end of the dream I felt like I was prey in this world.  Not just to random snakes, but seen as prey by humans as well.  That's why I didn't want to become entangled with anyone.  Relationships felt like entanglements to me, where I was always the prey.  I just felt awfully alone in the world, yet the desire to be with others was not there either.  So there was no remedy to the aloneness.  There was a desolation, yet also a strong desire to get even further away from people. I wanted to get away into pure nature.  Still.  I felt I couldn't feel free or relax until I could get to a place where there are no traces of people.  And this place wasn't it.  Even though it was a vacation area, a beach area, to me it was a letdown, populated by dirty people, or the dirty traces of their existence everywhere.  (Not that the people were actually filthy, its just their presence felt like dirt on me, like an accumulation of junk I NEEDED a break from.  To purge myself clean from.  Its like I was overfull of people and their issues and their ways and just sick of them.  I couldn't get away from them.  I just wanted to take a break and go to a pristine, pure, place absent of people.  That desire is where the dream began, and it ended with me having to do something I really wanted to avoid doing (touching a snake, hurting a creature).  I was still not in a place that was pure nature, just private landscapes, ocean, and air is all I wanted.  Even if people weren't directly there, the signs of them and their garbage was (the man made road/path, the ugly utility and telephone poll obscuring the ocean view).  Needless to say the dream ended with me feeling quite desolate and unhappy with my situation.  I was not sure where I could go to get peace. And I saw how difficult it would be on my own.  A constant struggle to survive.  To do the dirty work myself, to keep fending off all that thought me prey.  The world is hard when you're a vulnerable female alone.  And where could I go to get away from it all (it being people primarily).  Did I have to get completely away from humans in order to feel that connection with the earth/nature again?  These thoughts stewed through my mind.  I was glad I was out of imminent danger, but felt trapped in a catch 22 miserable situation.  My thoughts also reflected back to the image of the snake with imprints in its head.  Indented marks all over its head from the pressure.  I felt saddened and sickened.  I'd never wanted to touch it, let alone harm it.  I resume walking up the sandy road, toward the town.  I'm not happy about that, but I don't know where else to go.  I just keep moving.

- anna -

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Re: Relentless Snake
« Reply #1 on: February 15, 2015, 06:54:12 AM »
Horizon  :)

Your dream shows that you are about to reach a turning point in your inner life, which is a positive sign.

Although the term narcissism has a negative connotation, you will see if you read this link, that a healthy sign of narcissism can help you through this stage of life: Look up signs of narcissism.


The first part of the dream in which you meet your inner male, shows a very positive side of him. Your thoughts about him seem to be in conflict though:

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All he needs is the little drink with the umbrella in it.
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This cockiness, this blatant basking in luxury without seeming to regard anyone around him.

In order to understand your dual thoughts about this part of yourself, please read:
http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/what-we-need-to-remember-about-us-3/#DualBeing
http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/whole-2/ and
http://dreamhawk.com/news/avoiding-being-my-own-victim/

I wonder, since this man reminded you of something "spoiled" and because of other thoughts in "the snake part" of the dream, if this dream is about the inner urge to find this unspoilt part of you too, which is like a Helpful Presence far beyond your little self?
http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/what-we-need-to-remember-about-us-3/#HumanP

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I just wanted to take a break and go to a pristine, pure, place absent of people.
I also wonder if it is this Presence which will be able to help you on your inner journey, because the part of the dream where you enter the sea, shows you are not up to this inner confrontation with the many parts of yourself yet and look at all of them with love:
http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/beach/

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A beach is also a boundary, or threshold, between your individual self and effort, and your potential in the universal processes of life and death. Therefore a barrier or threshold such as fear or lack of confidence can create. To deal with such a barrier – crossing the ocean – we have to exhibit new skills or courage. To go further we would have to swim or take a boat – so a change may be needed, new qualities must be developed.

To be able to learn to love all parts of yourself IS a skill indeed.

This Presence, which we call the essence of Life as well, was in front of you - the snake - and you did not perceive it as helpful. Yet you are aware you cannot deal with life without this Life Presence:
http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/wisdom-in-us-as-old-as-time/

http://dreamhawk.com/poems/walk-gently-with-my-heart/

I am not physically strong or my energy is weakened or something.
No one is here to save me. There is no help.  I'm on my own.
But I felt hopeless and closed off to letting anyone in.
I was not sure where I could go to get peace.
And I saw how difficult it would be on my own.
To do the dirty work myself,
Did I have to get completely away from humans in order to feel that connection with the earth/nature again?

Anna :-)
« Last Edit: February 18, 2015, 10:03:42 AM by Tony Crisp »