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Author Topic: One Dream/Two Images  (Read 2646 times)

Christine

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One Dream/Two Images
« on: April 02, 2015, 05:45:28 AM »
1.  Someone says "this is what her parents gave her." A small dark child walks up to me.  She shows me her right palm.  There is a half white/half purple capsule perpendicular between the palm.  What is that?  I ask.  Someone says "Adderall" (a drug for attention deficit disorder).

Then the child sits on my lap.  She looks at me...she is the picture I use on my Facebook page.  The face is a black stone sculpture and with a tear running down her right cheek.

The child says "And now you will hold me" which almost sounds like a question.  The image also reminds me of an audiotape "Warming the Stone Child" by Clarissa Pinkola Estes.

2.  Image of a ball or sphere on the floor.  There is white light breaking through grey clouds above.  The light from above lights up the top half of the sphere while the bottom half is shadow, and the light also casts a shadow of the ball on the dark floor.

This might be about my own polarities or having been hit "below the belt," i.e. sexually.

3.  Image of my father, he is sitting reading the newspaper...facing left...his face is mostly hidden and he is not looking at me.  On the right, facing the same direction, my son is sitting on the floor facing left.  My son is not looking at me...he is looking at the floor.

(My son has autism...he is non - verbal...17 years old...does not like face to face or eye to eye}.  This dream brings up a lot of rage and grief.  Feeling abandoned by my father in many different ways, men in very different ways and also by my son.  I have acted out the rage I feel, and also abandoned them in different ways, not really dealing with the grief and guilt.  The shame/guilt I felt when I thought their behavior was "something about me"...my father was an alcoholic, had ptsd from WW II, had a volatile relationship with his family and my mother, grew up in an extremely competitive family and raised us that way, but probably had learning disabilities himself.  If we felt hurt, disappointed, embarrassed and expressed any feelings we were beaten with a belt.  I grew up with black and white thinking about myself.  If I feel bad...I must be a bad person.  I do not talk about my "negative" feelings...I bury them. 
« Last Edit: April 02, 2015, 05:54:20 AM by Christine »

Tony Crisp

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Re: One Dream/Two Images
« Reply #1 on: April 03, 2015, 10:37:42 AM »
Dear Christine - You must have seen it said on this site that dreams are a mirror reflecting what we feel - good or bad. And your dream seem to be mostly about your difficult feelings you have had generated in you - which have become habits because of their frequency and because they have been engraved in you through pain.

Our reactions and responses to events, because we develop conditioned reflexes, tend to happen again and again triggered by events. They are not easy to get rid of, but it can be done by working hard on developing other habits. I haven't got any fine words to say to you Christine, because life can be hard, and often intolerable, but I encourage you not to give up. The white light breaking through shows up the light you have in you, and of course the dark side too. See http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/conditioned-reflexes-or-responses/ and http://dreamhawk.com/inner-life/habits/

Have you seen the research done connected with autism? See http://www.arcamax.com/technology/technews/s-1624343?fs#hu9tezpA8KGZsjOk.99

Tony

Christine

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Re: One Dream/Two Images
« Reply #2 on: April 04, 2015, 05:22:25 AM »
Thank you Tony.  I will take the time to review what you have referenced.  I think the rage and grief has to do with feeling emotionally disconnected from my father and son...yet it seems that I need to be emotionally connected to my (internal and external) self instead.

Did you move recently?  I vaguely remember you changing an address.  I hope you and your loved ones have a pleasant Easter...my favorite holiday...forgiveness and resurrection and all that!  Sincerely,  Chris

Tony Crisp

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Re: One Dream/Two Images
« Reply #3 on: April 05, 2015, 10:14:18 AM »
Chris - No I am still in the little stone cottage, but maybe it was my mobile phone number, because I gave my phone away to someone who had lost theirs.

My biographical notes have stopped working and so I have not been able to add things to it - 2015 for instance.

Tony

Christine

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Re: One Dream/Two Images
« Reply #4 on: April 06, 2015, 02:55:51 AM »
Tony - Thanks.  Happy Spring! - Chris