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Author Topic: HRT  (Read 5451 times)

Christine

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HRT
« on: April 24, 2015, 06:32:36 PM »
I get out of my car and meet my brother.  He is arriving and getting out of his car .  A tall dark man standing in front of a dark house is watching us.  I want to hug my brother but am afraid the dark man will think it is sexual. I hug my brother anyway and ask "are you ok?"

Next I am working at a bank I used to work at.  Sitting in my office.  I walk out and there is some sort of a party.  All of the decorations are white...there is a lot of white fringe...for some reason it makes me think of a stripper's costume...white fringe...red glitter handwriting and lines of red glitter decorations on top of the red fringe.  I can not read the writing though.  I walk through the party area and go back to my desk.

At my desk...there are a lot of the same legal sized brown files we used to use...piles...a messy desk.  My old boss comes in and says "You are still not doing the work."  (He has said this to me many times during my dreams and I have always been unsure as to what he means).  He leaves and I start to worry.

I clean up my desk a little and keep working.  I wonder if I can get a job in a non - profit...I think of contacts I know there...I asked my assistant and one or two of the female office clerks if so and so and so and so still works here and there.  I write down the names of my contacts.  I go back into my office, look up from my desk and everyone is gone.  I look at my watch and it says 10 of 10...it is late at night.  Even though I am working and could work late EVERY night they could still fire me at any time for any reason...it does not even have to be true...and I worry about that.  I dial my parents phone number and my brother answers...in the background I hear someone yelling at my son..."BUDDY...BUDDY"  I say firmly "why is he yelling at him.  "He..." and my brother's voice trails off.

Leaving my office for the day/night...I see a green post it note with the letters "HRT" on it.

I have some ideas about the above buy wanted to post it so I do not forget it.  Will write more later.

« Last Edit: April 24, 2015, 06:41:33 PM by Christine »

Tony Crisp

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Re: HRT
« Reply #1 on: April 26, 2015, 11:34:33 AM »
Chris - To me it seems to be a development of the previous dream you posted. You were in a dark building - now you are outside it getting out of your car. I take it you used to use your car to get to work. If so then the dream moves on to go to work on issues facing you. One is the dark man who you want to avoid any sexual relationship with. But you can relate to a man in a brother and sister way.

The party at work I have to guess at - for being at a bank where you worked can suggest you have an immense potential - the bank - also are actually capable in the area. But your associations with strippers suggest another area of sexual feelings.

The desk and the remarks of the boss probably have two possible meanings. One being that you have felt put down, not appreciated, and you carry this in you still and you need to get rid of it by doing the inner work. The inner work might be helped by using http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/example-working-a-dream/

The last part of the dream seems to be a meeting with you own feelings of self value. It leads you to feel you could be fired, so a feeling of uncertainty, a feeling of not having value to others. You seek a direction outside commercialism with it. Not a bad direction.

Do you feel need to use HRT?

Tony

Christine

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Re: HRT
« Reply #2 on: April 26, 2015, 09:26:58 PM »
I have not given the HRT a good go but am about to.  I tried the Progesterone only, but was allergic to the peanut oil in the commercial formula and stopped.  I got my doc to write a script for a compounded formula and will try that and estrogen.  I was on the commercial formula around the time I had the Virtruvian woman dream.

Will write more later!

Christine

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Re: HRT
« Reply #3 on: April 26, 2015, 11:11:05 PM »
As a child, at school and at work...I very much doing activities with boys and men...being outdoors, some sports, fishing, skiing, camping.  Growing up I enjoyed being treated as if I had no gender, but at some point I started to be treated by the males like a female.  As a child I always played ice hockey with the boys, but at some point they started not passing me the puck and laughing at me when I showed my feelings about that...I might have cried, looked disappointed, my face turning red...humiliated.

When I was 10 or so I started having problems with overeating and gained weight...another reason for my father, brother and boys to humiliate me.  At 15 I dieted and exercised and lost a lot of weight.  Then the boys wanted to talk to me again, which made me angry as they have previously rejected me.  I was raped when I was 15.  I told my father about it, which took a lot of courage, expecting that he/we would be calling the police and he blamed me!  it was my own fault for not protecting myself he said.

The above relates to the dream in that I spent many years in the financial services industry being very good at what I did and expecting to be rewarded for that, but was actually held down and/or back by males in authority.  I was visibly angry at men about it...I did not even consider trying to hide those feelings...I could not control not showing them.  Outside of work, I sometimes expressed my anger at men by being aggressive...verbally and in shadow ways.   

Irina

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Re: HRT
« Reply #4 on: May 03, 2015, 05:33:40 PM »
Christine

You have to forgive them, I understand that this is easier to say then to do , but as long as you keep this hatred inside of you, this kind of situations  will be repeated endlessly.
I am sure that the people who hurt you ,forgot about you and what they did to you , but you keep this pain alive with your feelings.
At the moment, you yourself are the only destroyers of yourself because you chose a victim role. You can not change the past, but you have the opportunity to change your future. And to choose the role of a winner
instead of the victim.
Please dont let the pain ruin your life , take it away from you.
I wish you to be a winner ,with my own experience I know that it is possible.

Tony Crisp

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Re: HRT
« Reply #5 on: May 04, 2015, 02:59:32 PM »
Chris - I know it is a hard path, but it can work - Please see http://dreamhawk.com/news/avoiding-being-my-own-victim/

Tony

Christine

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Re: HRT
« Reply #6 on: May 04, 2015, 10:55:56 PM »
Thank you Irina and Tony...There is always more work to do!