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Author Topic: Marrying Jesus  (Read 4426 times)

Christine

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Marrying Jesus
« on: October 11, 2010, 07:45:22 AM »
I told my family members...they were all sitting at a large dining room table...that I was marrying Jesus.  It was an odd dream as they were all there in one place...they were mostly the women in my family who have neither been strong for themselves or supportive of me...pretty toxic.

Tony Crisp

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Re: Marrying Jesus
« Reply #1 on: October 17, 2010, 12:19:06 PM »
Christine – Well you have the name for it – follower of Christ.

To marry Jesus means, according to my understanding, suggests a very big change taking place in you. It suggests that you have an inner quality that will allow you to open to a new way of experiencing yourself. It doesn’t matter whether you are outwardly religious or ‘good’ or not. What matters is that you have a natural ability to love that will be used.  If you allow it to happen, then you will come to know yourself intensely, and have a real direction in life;

Of course there are several ‘faces’ of Jesus, from the very organised religious view to the living face of love and life.

Tony

Christine

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Re: Marrying Jesus
« Reply #2 on: October 20, 2010, 02:27:23 AM »
Thank you Tony!

I am not sure, but I think, at least initially, that is the ability to love myself.

My dream from last night:

I go to a bar.  The bartender gives me an orange oval pill in a blister pack and says "Here, try this vitamin."  I ask if he wants me to pay him and he says no.

I leave as my family of origin has invited me to lunch. (In my family, I was the parentified oldest child of two alcolholic, dysfunctional people.  I did not leave home until I was 28, after all my silblings...whom I called the kids...had left).  We all get in a tiny blue car...some how I end up sitting in the back seat with a young girl (also blue) who looks like me.  (The blue was a depressing blue...in between navy and light blue...like the color of blue play dough). There is not a lot of room and we are squuezed in very tight.

We arrive at the restaurant.  Getting out of the car, I am carrying a fireplace grate (that would hold logs) in my left hand and luggage in my right.  A dog with sharp teeth grabs my right arm.  I try to shake him loose but he won't let go.  My father reaches down and he says "Here, let me get that for you."  He puts his finger between me and the dogs teeth and the dog releases his clench on my arm.

My father and the rest of them are walking far ahead of me.  I am trying to catch up, but the grate and the bags are heavy and I fall behind.  As I get closer to the restaurant, I see there is a dock next to it.

At the end of the dock, there is a woman calling names for people to board on the boat...she looks like an older version of me or my mother.  There are a lot of people waiting.  I can't see my family anymore..they did not wait for me or check to see if I needed help with what I was carrying so I could keep up with them.  The woman calls out a name..."Christine Pacer"...it sounds similar to my name but I am not sure if she misspoke or I heard "Pacer" correctly.  So I ask her...she misread my name (Karen is actually my middle name and I use it in my e-mail).  By that time, the boat had already left.  I complain and she says there is nothing she can do about it.  I sit on the dock and cry.

As a child and for most of my life, I thought of myself as the second mother, third parent.  Un fortunately, my family members would invite me in to some situation...I sometimes I insinuated myself as I was afraid for them and thought they needed me...and me thinking they might finally appreciate me...I was willing.  I ended up being the servant, or slave...they backed out of their verbal commitments...left me with few or no healthy choices for myself...and went on with their lives.  They refused to listen to my feelings...what I needed.  I ended up feeling devasted, hurt, angry, resentful...acting it out... carrying the baggage of the situation for the whole family.  They turned their backs on me, there is nothing I can do to change that.

Any of your thoughts the new dream would be appreciated.  My father releasing the dogs clench on my arm I don't get.  Also, is there any difference in interpretation between the left and right arms?

Blessings,

Chris 

Tony Crisp

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Re: Marrying Jesus
« Reply #3 on: October 21, 2010, 11:31:16 AM »
Wow Chris – This is a big one and says so much – much of it you have explained yourself. But before I move on to this latest dream you say that, “….that is the ability to love myself.” And as I look at dreams from the view of dreams, that is exactly right. You and Jesus are one and the same. Christ as I call it is, in your dream, a living expression of your very best. Difficult sometimes to live up to – but there you have it and you are uniting with it.

The vitamin pill is probably your understanding of your dreams. Then you have the influence of what life with your parents did. And you carrying the grate and the bags is what gave you the qualities of care that enabled the dream of Jesus. However difficult it was, you did it.

The father and the left arm seems to be that you have felt a lot of aggression or anger about the situation you were in. The left arm, if you are right handed, is your support to outer action. So this would hold you back in things you are capable of otherwise. Your father releases it because it was your father who set it up, and you are now capable of letting go of it. Having had the good fortune to look under the surface of life a few time, I see that such awful family situations are ways we work out something very important. I had such a dream where the bicep of my left arm was shot away. There was a terrible pain about not being supported or encouraged in my life.
 
But you still feel burdened and left behind, and that has meant you missed the boat. Fortunately there will be another one when you let go of the baggage you are carrying. And I know that isn’t easy, but as the Jesus dream tells me, it will take time but it will happen if you open to the promise of the marriage. As I say it isn’t an easy journey, but it is one worth taking.

Tony

Tony Crisp

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Re: Marrying Jesus
« Reply #4 on: August 11, 2011, 11:14:46 AM »
Christine - Thank you for livening up the Forum. It has been quite lonely doing all the replies.

Good to see you again.

Tony

Christine

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Re: Marrying Jesus
« Reply #5 on: August 11, 2011, 03:19:06 PM »
Tony,

Thank you for remembering me.  I really needed that today.

Sincerely,

Christine