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Author Topic: dreams that scare me and I can't stop replaying in my mind  (Read 1818 times)

chrizzyturtle

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dreams that scare me and I can't stop replaying in my mind
« on: June 18, 2015, 06:11:38 AM »
i have always had interesting dreams.  but recently within the past year, they are becoming so demented that they scare me to the point that i can't stop thinking about them and try hard to forget them.

so here i go...let's see what others feel could be the underlying meaning.  my husband is starting to think i'm crazy and need professional help.

the dream started out with my husband and I selling our house (in a city that was not familiar to me and a house that i have never owned).  the house was like a condo trailers and inner urban city.  we moved to another place probably a suburb over or so but we only rented.  it was nice.  a little smaller in space but it seemed like an improvement to the house we owned.  i was driving around in my 78 Thunderbird which was my first car and I still have.  it's very much something that i associate calm and enjoyment and youth.  i guess i was on my way home from work or an errand.  the sun was going down.  i saw a local butcher shop and decided to stop because i thought i would make my husband and i something good for dinner (which i always do regularly in real life).  i went inside the shop.  the butcher or owner was a middle aged heavy set guy with a long beard very Appalachian looking.  he greeted me and was very wonderful.  his girlfriend came into the shop.  she was light skinned, medium built with black short croppy hair.  she was pleasant.  as i was looking around after he had given me a pound of hamburger and i think bread or pizza something that wasn't meat...i thought it would be great to also get some pepperoni.  as the butcher was cutting it; the next thing i know he and his girlfriend are arguing.  then she takes out this pen looking thing with a lazer that slices his chest area straight in half.  he falls to the floor and blood is everywhere.  i just stood there with the stuff in my arms...frozen unsure what to do (run, scream, move at all, i haven't paid for my stuff).  then she turns to look at me and she does the same thing to her own body; killing herself.  two bodies now are on the floor in front of me; dead, bleeding with open chests and i don't know what to do.  i drop the stuff and ....(this is what freaks me out the most!) i get on my hands and knees and put their blood in my hands and rub it all over my face and arms.  (honestly i can not handle blood at all.  i'm very sensitive to my own menstruation let alone to touch all that blood and rub it on my body...)  as i'm doing that....i stopped and looked up and there was a guy that came in the back door to whom i thought in my dream was the butcher's brother (looked nothing like him but that's what my mind told me).  I got scared and ran out the front door.  ran back to my Thunderbird that was parked in the parking lot...and drove off.  blood all over me...all over my seats and inside of my car (which would have flipped me out normally).  I drove...around and around; unsure of where i was..frightened like i was being chased by something i did not even know.  and continuing to almost going mentally crazy.  it was like i could not find my way home.  i was lost.  i kept trying to call my husband.  it would just ring and ring.  finally i stopped the car on the side of a street.  tried to figure out where i was....then realized i was only a block away from our rental house.  so i got out of the car and started walking (i'm guessing because we didn't have any parking associated with the rental? or i have no idea why i suddenly would just leave my beloved car parked on a side street that far from my house without a reason).  when i got to the house; my husband was home and a male police officer was already there. my husband was upset with me; why are you covered in blood?  and he just sorta left me there with the officer (which i know he would never do in real life).  i felt crazy like i had lost my mind just like in the car when i was driving.  when i suddenly realized that the butcher shop was only 3 blocks from our rental home and i could see it from the house....how could i not have known where i was?  I have the best direction.  the officer took me outside and the sun was still going down.  he walked me back to the scene of the crime where they had it roped off with caution tape.  there was a female officer there and they took me back inside the shop and asked me to tell them what happened...  they were calm.  the female officer nodded when i started telling them the events and like she had won a bet....at the part where i told her how i got blood on me...she said loudly "I knew you didn't do it!!!"  never once was i cuffed.  never once was i told i was guilty of a crime or treated like a criminal....but i felt like a criminal...like i was guilty because i didn't do anything ....i took their blood and put it on my body, i ran...i didn't call for help....how could they believe me...why did i feel guilty?  i knew i didn't do it but the blood was everywhere.  why did i touch the blood?  why did i put it on my face and body?  what is wrong with me?  it was like i was crazy in my own dream not understanding my own actions. 

and then my dog woke me up.

i have some other weird crazy dreams lately too.  i have ideas as to what this might involve but then i don't.  i get confused and again it doesn't help when your own husband tells you that your dreams are disgusting and maybe you should talk to a professional.  i hope that someone can enlighten me so that i can work through whatever is troubling my mind.