Adopted daughter taken by my mother

[searchingcro]

Incredibly vivid, detailed, and long dream.  I woke up with tears running down my face and nearly sobbing. 

In my dream:
My mother brought a young child to my home. She told me that this girl was a refugee from Russia and that she had found her wandering through our church parking lot. The child's father had died on a cursed day so the child and her mother, once wealthy, had been left destitute.  The cursed day was a friday, had a name (but I don't remember it), and was only a Russian tradition. The mother had stayed in Russia but had managed to get her child to America.  My mother was very coarse and unfeeling about the girl's circumstances.  Saying "Well, the father should have died on a different day." with a shrug.

The girl was the same age and size as my biological daughter and I had clothes for her and was able to care for her. Her hair was a brilliant blond but very coarse, it had been chopped off close to her head as though to prevent lice, but then grown out a bit. I was able to dress her and brush her hair and clean her up and she played with my daughter and they both seemed happy, though this child never spoke.

I decided to care for her, though I never legally adopted her. There were many images from this dream of her with my daughter, and of me dressing her, and brushing her hair, and being relieved my daughter's clothes fit her.

Then my mother told me that the father was actually alive. That he was a government agent and his death had been reported incorrectly.  The family's fortune had been restored and they were looking for their child.  My mother told me I had to let her take this child back to Russia because these were her 'real' parents and they were wealthy and could provide for her better than I could. She told me it was too much for me to take on anyway with one daughter and being pregnant.

I was furious with my mother. Anger beyond words. She didn't care about my feelings for the girl or how I'd cared for her. I told my mother the story was too inconsistent, that it was weird that the father suddenly turned up, that Russia was rife with corruption and we couldn't trust that the child would be safe.

My mother put the child in her car and took her to church, which would be followed by her flying the child to Russia. She told me to come to church with her but I refused. I sat in a chair and was totally despondent and absolutely furious. My mother drove away with my adopted daughter. My father and my brothers (I had more brothers in the dream than I actually do) tried to cheer me up. My father even offered to let me beat him up with a baseball bat and I tried to explain how that would in no way make me feel better. They tried and tried to cheer me, mostly offering to hurt each other, but I refused every one of their offers and was inconsolable and just curled up in my chair.

I decided I was at least going to be sure the child was safe.

*I woke up and fell back asleep*

I was in Russia with my mom, my daughter, and this child. We were getting our papers in a big government building but a painter was painting our pictures on our papers, there were no photos. He had done the child's father's new papers and mentioned a lot of weird things that made me doubt the government's story.

There was a grand celebration where the child was returned to her parents. There was a dais and a podium and Putin was making a speech. In front of me but far away, up on the dais, the girl was standing with her parents. She was comfortable with her mother but gave no indications about the father.

I was filled with sorrow. I couldn't reach her now if I tried. I didn't know if she was really safe with these people. Even if I tried to get her back there were too many people between us, all celebrating this family reunion, and there was a foreign policy issue now too. My mother made it clear that she did not care about anything I was feeling or going through, that this was simply the right decision. I was furious, beyond furious, shaking with rage that she took this child away from me, and resolved to never speak with her again.

I let out a long wail that I could actually hear in the dream.

*I woke up in tears*

[Tony Crisp]

SearchingCro - Because this is the first dream posted with us I need to explain how we see your dream images. I hope it will make what we say more understandable.

To start with, whenever we dream its images are not like real life, because a dream is nothing like outer life where things could hurt you, but is an image like on a cinema screen, so that even if a gun is pointed at you and fired it can do no damage – except if you run in fear; so all the things that scare you are simply your own fears projected onto the screen of your sleeping mind.

Also a dream is a communication between what has no recognised form as far as our personality or reasoning mind is concerned. So to do this it uses images of people, things and animals, as well as scenes that we might understand if we explore what we associate with the dream images. For instance a man dreamt of a tarot card reader. But in understanding how dreams work the tarot card reader represented his own intuition, because that is what he associates with being psychic.

Also we have an inner and outer world with marked differences. It is important because of your dream that you realise you are the creator. You are doing it right now – creating an inner world. For instance what do you believe, fear, hope for or are driven toward? We are all the time creating an inner world, it is the world of our mind, emotions, fears, personal likes and dislikes, our personal sexual behaviour and our habits. We tend often to be unaware of the tremendous power of our inner world and simply think of it as ‘Me’ without recognising that we are creating it all the time.

Also we often can’t see that our inner world is unique to us, and as its creator we can make it into a place of wonder, a hell to live in, or an experience of great fear.

It is out of what you believe and are convinced of that you create a unique – for you – world, and then you live in it, or are trapped in it. Millions of people are in the grip of a belief system that controls them, imprisons them, and denies them their full potential. It is generally called the paradigm of the western mind. It could also be called the worldview or even the religion of most western people – religion because actually it is a belief system. See http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/the-magical-dream-machine/

Okay, now to your dream - Your mother plays a huge part on your dream and you are deeply influenced in a painful and destructive way by you mother's influence in your life. But in a dream she is your inner mother - Many people do not realise that they have an inner mother equally as powerful as an external mother. You have taken in millions of bit of memory, lessons learnt, life experiences along with all the feelings or problems met by loving and living with your mother, and they are what makes you the person you are. This is true even if your mother was never there for you – you still have all the memories of her not being there for you filed under ‘Mother’. The memories and experience we gather unconsciously change us and are not lost. It is part of you and is symbolised in dreams as a person or event. Such an inner mother can appear in dreams because you are still deeply influenced by what you hold within you.

This inner mother seems to be a mixture of your actual mother's influence and something probably from you ancestral heritage in way. To realise how this can happen read http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/the-conjuring-trick/

I believe that what the overall influence has do to you, symbolised by your adopted daughter, is to stifle the emergence or growth of an important and creative pat of you9 that will link you with a part of you nature you feel incomplete without.

It is difficult for me to untangle the enormous amount of information locked in the plot of the dream, but maybe you can delve into the wonderful missing part of you by using http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/acting-on-your-dream/#BeingPerson or http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/dream-interpretation-2/

Please write again if you need any further help.

Tony