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Author Topic: white gold  (Read 4934 times)

Mikey22

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white gold
« on: September 18, 2015, 11:16:46 AM »
Here is a great dream that I had last night. 
I was with a friend of mine, we had moved into a dangerous part of the forest, we were trying to clear it out and make it habitable.  There were several animals there, squirrels and fox mostly.  I was shooting rocks at them with a sling shot to get them to leave, some left, some lingered.  Out of nowhere a giant stag charged me, I grabbed him by the horns and we wrestled a bit, hit bit my arm and his teeth were very sharp.  I managed to throw him off of me and he ran off.  I had the feeling he would be back again though.  Then I heard a voice say, "It is an ancient Chinese secret that somewhere in this section of the woods there is an area of pure white gold under the surface.  It is one square meter thick."
To me the forest is the more difficult aspects of my personality that I deal with, probably each animal with its own personality trait.  But it seems my main enemy is the stag, who no doubt represents sex drive, or at least masculinity.  It would seem if I can continue to fight him off and can occupy this area of my personality I may find the gold.

Christine

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Re: white gold
« Reply #1 on: September 19, 2015, 03:33:50 PM »
I was going to ask you in what ways are you comfortable and/or not comfortable with your own masculinity?  E.G.  Why would it attack or hurt you?  But you also or instead might feel attacked by others expectations of masculinity.

Just wondering what your feelings and thoughts are on this.

Mikey22

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Re: white gold
« Reply #2 on: September 20, 2015, 01:53:49 AM »
Thanks for the response!
I think that in my life I have used my sexual energy in a way that was not always healthy, and that to some degree I am still battling with it.  That is what I think the stag mainly represents.
I also think that I have not embraced the feminine side of my nature yet.  I grew up with one brother, in a household where it was important to be tough both physically and mentally, played only contact sports, and now I work a construction job with only men.  I'm not really sure what my feminine side entails, as I have not had access to it in my inner life and I guess my outer life reflects that.  Perhaps the stag refers to an unceasing need to prove my masculinity to both myself and others that I need to let go of.
Any thoughts you may have?

Christine

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Re: white gold
« Reply #3 on: September 20, 2015, 05:35:39 AM »
Posting here and exploring your inner world is part of your feminine side.  I read through some of your previous posts and if you read them as if someone else wrote them, you might find that person has a heart of compassion and a desire to protect others.  Keeping and raising chickens might be considered part of your feminine side too.  The piece of land in the woods...maybe you feel a connection to the earth and have even thought about farming.

Maybe your stag dream is learning about protecting yourself and not self - sabotaging.  You might also feel very insecure and/or competitive with other men and that might also spur you to express it in unhealthy ways.  Do you think your masculinity has gotten in the way of expressing something or some objectives you have or that unclear?

Just curious.
« Last Edit: September 20, 2015, 10:01:03 AM by Christine »

Tony Crisp

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Re: white gold
« Reply #4 on: September 20, 2015, 11:46:55 AM »
Mikey - You've got it in one - but a few comments might help.

Your attitude that you have to clear the animals out to make it habitable for you might be true in you waking world - though I think it might be a mistake - but in the inner world of dreams every animal is a functioning and useful aspect of yourself.

Also you believe the image of your body is you - your arm being bitten - but it is just an image that we create through and with our imaginations and fears.

"I walked toward it and stretched out my hand. It was a tan colour with short fur and gave a feeling of being okay to approach, so I touched it to stroke. This was okay and I was thinking there was no problem when the creature leapt at my throat in a flash of movement and ripped my throat out. This sounds disturbing but I simply observed this and thought to myself that stroking and trying to be friendly was no way of dealing with this thing. It was as if I was in command of the imagery so I simply formed another body by imagining it."

Why not find out why the stag is biting you, and why you need to clear your space to live in? The creature that ripped out my throat was my own feelings about my mother who I wanted to kill. When I met them as an observer they cleared and I understood why and where such feelings had arisen and why they were still active inside me.

Here is another approach to the primitive in us.

For the great beast I saw in the rocks, were an image behind which lay the realisation that the extraordinary process of life has struggled through unimaginable periods of time, and we are the expression of it. Although it appears like a great and ancient beast, it is full of mystery and magic. It has brought about living beings in incredible variety. It has possibilities we cannot even guess at. Within itself it holds the secrets of creation and destruction, of sleep and waking, of the intricacies of mind and spirit. It has unimaginable power and tenacity. It is beyond us and yet intimately of very core of self. We relate to it, we enliven it, we call it out or imprisonment by every act we do.

As I looked at this beast I noticed that its eyes were being hurt. Arrows were being fired at its eyes, and javelins thrown. I wondered who could be doing this, and stepped forward to take out the javelins and the arrows. I wondered what the arrows and javelins could be, and was it I throwing them, firing them? Gradually it clarified that we continually injure this wonderful process in us. Consciousness is a special state that acts in all manner of ways for this great ancient being or process that is behind our existence. Consciousness is its eyes and ears, its fingers and mouth, its means of experience, and its way of learning. And whatever we feed back to that fundamental part of us is deeply felt. Perhaps this is not a very accurate description, but it is like a loving and willing dog that out of its instinctive being tries to do all that we ask of it, tries to grow, and tries to learn.

But it is so sensitive, so when we are angry with it, repress it or frustrated with it, or direct criticism at it, it cowers, it feels failure, its exuberance diminishes. So also with this great wonderful beast within, this mysterious process of life that is at our core. It withdraws. But we can also call it out into further expression, enabling it to extend beyond its previous capabilities, by loving it, by acknowledging its wonder, by calling it forth.

You do not need to fight them/yourself, but to make peace with yourself/them - the gold is always there hidden behind your own creative function that hides it from you.
Tony

Tony Crisp

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Re: white gold
« Reply #5 on: September 20, 2015, 12:38:42 PM »
Mikey - Thinking about the ideas Chris put out to you, loving yourself, the animals might be a start to allowing your female self.

Tony