Moon

[PrimaMateria]

I had a dream where I looked up at the moon and remarked at how beautiful it is. It was a quite large and surprisingly clear full moon. A friend was beside me - I said that the moon looks like the earth, with its craters that appeared as the earth's continents. The friend responded in agreement, and we perhaps discussed the implications of this. Then the moon turned around, revealing more of the crater-continent shapes and features. It then descended down before me, but when it reached the ground it became a rather shabby paper-mache moon, as if it were made of newspaper. It was about 3 feet in diameter. I remarked, "Oh moon, you are only beautiful when you are far away". I hoisted it back into the sky.
Then I think it became of a reddish-orangish hue in the sky, like the moon would be when it's close to the horizon.

[Tony Crisp]

PrimaMateria – We paint the heavens with meaning, which is usually deeply felt truths about ourselves. The moon and its changes has been a huge part of early human’s experience – with its representation of birth, growth, decline and death – only to reappear again as a new moon. Also the fact that we are part of the cosmos’ creative process, mostly seen is a woman’s menstrual cycle. The beauty you felt is often a recognition of that, or even a feeling of awe.

Maybe the beauty you felt was an intuition of that.

“I said that the moon looks like the earth”. When I worked in Greece, I was outside all the time and the moon often looked huge and three dimensional. I often wondered how early cultures could not see that this massive world was floating in space and was so obviously round, so what stopped them realising that the earth too was round. Well of course some of them did, but small ants that we are on the earth many of us cannot grasp the wonder of it. That we are images of that cosmos.

Perhaps you grasped it in your dream, but when you saw it close up you saw it was as a poor copy of what you had seen – for within us we see things in all their splendour, but our poor physical eyes cannot have any sense of that.

So you hoisted it back into your inner vision realising, “Oh moon, you are only beautiful when you are far away” from my limited physical eyes.

Tony

[- anna -]

HI PrimaMateria 

I like to add something too, because I recognize myself in your process and in the way you approach Life.

I used my investigating mind to cut myself off from "Something within" and so from Life (God if you prefer to use that word); as you are aware of too;

And it is strange that I feel I have reverted to being a child again. But after observing my life, and the dreams I remember having as a child, and my experiences, I realise that I have been cutting myself off from something within, and I only just have been trying to reconnect with that. But this obstacle is frustrating, and I'm not even sure how to manage it. I feel very lost...

I feel that there are more reasons than just one why I (mis) used my investigating mind the way I did.

What stood out though among all the reasons why, is that I had to learn to be patient with myself in learning to trust Life again; to become aware that Life is forever available and forever forgiving and that I can always try again to reconnect with IT.

Once that trust started to grow, there was less "need" in me to "manage it" and I am very slowly learning to surrender to Life and co-operate with It;
http://dreamhawk.com/inner-life/water-wonderland/

http://dreamhawk.com/news/my-body-is-a-moving-sea/

You wrote;

I can and perhaps should allow this natural investigation to take place, but I shouldn't create more ignorance while I'm at it.

and I think there is lots of wisdom in that too. (I wonder if you have re-read and sorted out all that you have written in the Forum so far)

I believe that if you push yourself too much in facing yourself and your real intentions honestly that you will end up in ignorance, because I think there must be some fear in you too that Life will suck the life out of YOU.

I remember as a child I had a vision of living in a world that was a wasteland of death, and I was its sole wanderer. It was a forlorn sight.

Anna 

[- anna -]

HI PrimaMateria 

Once again I enjoy reading your post and I am touched by the open way in which you are able to express your inner world and your different stages of learning.

I am not sure what the not proper noun spelling for the word Life could look like.
English is not my native language - I am Dutch - and writing it like this - Life - is actually the only spelling I have learned.

Yes, I recognize these attempts to "wrap your mind around It/Life" so that you can make it into a "solid sense" and how It/Life does not work that way.
I felt I did it because I believed I could only fully trust Life when I would understand It.

Feeling powerless is something I recognize as well, although I gave it a different meaning; I saw that my feeling powerless "against" a Force that I did not understand had its roots in the relationship with my father.

I merely projected that difficult relationship onto Life and so instead of focusing on healing the relationship with my inner father (intention is everything) - http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/father-dad/#InnerFather - I focused on trying to control Life by putting It in a pigeon hole.

I learned a lot on these "roundabouts" as well though and so nothing is ever for nothing if you can make it purposive, which I recognize you do as well.

Anna 

[- anna -]

 
Well PrimaMateria, I am glad we have sorted that out about Life now 

I can relate to the idea that healing the relationship with your inner father is a better choice for even when you try to heal the relationship with your actual father, that is still what you are doing.
So you might as well take the direct route.

Yes, your dream is interesting and I wonder what you make of it.
When you explore your dreams do you do that "with words" or do you enter them while awake and just "walk around in the feelings" that are part of the dream?
Do you read in the dream dictionary on this site?

Like http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/end-of-world/
and
http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/tsunami/
and
http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/freeze-frozen/

Does "then everything froze" mean that everything stopped moving or did everything transform into ice?

 

[- anna -]

 
WOW PrimaMateria you do know your way in (exploring) your inner world and it is a very vivid one.

Just some thoughts that arose while reading through your post;

But I'm very sensitive to the multiple layers of meanings of things, and so an "interpretation" is often not satisfactory. I don't feel satisfied until I feel I have broken past every possible veil of understanding, to be hit by something—a realisation, joyous or painful. This feeling I consider being in a sort of naked void where I am alone with that realisation and I cannot get away from it.

I like the way you express your moving to what I sense as the core or the heart of the dream.
I wonder if you also experience it sometimes as just a quiet feeling of having "opened up" (your dream).
Not to be hit by it, but this feeling of inner knowing that comes with joy too.

I'm slowly coming to a way of understanding my dreams.

I also wonder if you do not see/are aware of what you are able to - what you do in exploring your inner world is far beyond slowly coming to a way of understanding your dreams as I see it - and how well you can express your explorations and your abstract mind.

The fact that you do not know how to express all the layers of meaning you are feeling in a dream I do recognize and I feel it is part of the wonder of creation.

I enjoy it to move through a dream and all its layers without giving it words and just becoming aware of my feelings.
To me that is like learning to express/explore my feeling side as well; http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/dream-sources/#Funct

The right-hand side is the conscious, rational side. The left hand side is the unconscious, irrational side.

Your exploring your dream and describing what you become aware of shows to me that we are all "designed" differently; I have always sensed my unconscious side at the right side. Sometimes I can sense it opening up and/or "pulling at me" (when I have ignored it) and in the past when I had to count  (like adding up numbers and such) I could sense a shift to the left side (of my brain?).

I have been listening to my intuition more lately, and it has been consistently destroying my life hahaha.

Yes, I believe it is a never ending circle; we write an inner story, destroy it again and re-write it. It keeps us occupied 

I like to see my "self" as a story and I am learning to write/create more helpful stories now.

Anna 

[- anna -]

I also wonder if you do not see/are aware of what you are able to - what you do in exploring your inner world is far beyond slowly coming to a way of understanding your dreams as I see it - and how well you can express your explorations and your abstract mind.

I will try again 

What I perceive in the way you express yourself in this sentence

I'm slowly coming to a way of understanding my dreams.

is that it is some form of a funny understatement.
Exploring your dreams the way you do and then expressing your progress this way does not give an accurate and adequate view of your abilities and attributes in my perception.

It is somewhat like Gaudí stating that with planning the Temple of the Sagrada Familia in Barcelona he is slowly coming to a way of understanding how to give light and colour a centrale role.

Perhaps this all came so natural to you 

It reminds me of the mental experimentation of ideas (like the void or multiple dimensions in space) I used to do as a child,

that you do not see that you have already moved way beyond "I am slowly coming to a way of understanding my dreams"?

My right hand is my dominant hand.

 

[Tony Crisp]

Prima Materia – I believe that intuition is a sensing of experience that occurs in what we have called the unconscious. And I believe this level of ourselves does not think in words or even of intellectual functioning but it intuits from vast swathes if collected experience.

As Jung points out, we have to allow the full flow of spontaneous fantasy/intuition first, but then it is vital to then allow our rational mind to explore and try understand. I don’t know if you have come across - http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/what-we-need-to-remember-about-us-3/#Levels which is another way of defining the action. Also http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/integration-meeting-oneself/ gives various ways of understanding approaching the disciplines of one’s inner searching. Also http://dreamhawk.com/interesting-people/animal-children/#Program which is important in understanding our present mind state.

I am quite amazed and intrigued by the zeal of your dream work. But of course you have met Life/God. We meet it, pass by it, ignore or discover it in every ordinary thing we do. But often we have not turned the volume up to really see/hear/know IT.

Today, as I cut the bread for the children, I am not myself. No, I am not myself. A madness lies bustling and surging just beneath the thin surface of my being. It surges again and I tremble and moan with it. But it is not the black madness of men; it is the divine madness of Love, of Life. Only the bread knife holds me to myself. If I but let go, and let the moan of pleasure cry out, and fall, and fall, and fall, into that immensity and fall until there is no more falling - for we fall only in space in moving from one place to another; but here there is no beginning or end, no landmarks to pass or space to cover - then I will have gone wonderfully, ecstatically mad. I would be so mad I could love you; so mad I could give everything; so damn blissfully crazy I need never again hold on to anything, to anyone, to any moment, any past, any future - any - any - anything!

And I heard singing. It was glorious singing. It was God singing his everlasting love, singing the immensity of creating it all, singing song and laughter and life; and I mean, singing aliveness totally in every organ. And the song went on. I heard it as plain as my own voice. Every word was clear, as clear as the transistor could make it, because God was singing on the radio.

Then the surface shook again, and I knew it was only a great skin covering the one life, and we were all taking part in it. No one, no where, no time, sang who did not sing as God. No one danced, or fucked, or crapped, or did up their shoelaces, except that one life did it.

But I do not understand! I heard God sing on the radio. I don’t know - I don’t understand; I do not. I cannot convey to you my - what I want to say is - or do you somehow - what do I; maybe, maybe, or even how. I mean how? I mean, help me! Help me! I mean, didn’t you hear?

That day I turned the volume up.

We can never ‘understand’ our core for it is always beyond, but we can sometime experience IT.

Tony

[- anna -]

Dear PrimaMateria - Thank you for putting so much of yourself "out here"; I know it takes a lot of courage to do so.

But before that I had written a much longer response, which I eventually deleted. I spent well over an hour constructing the original response, because I felt very much attached this value in having a violent shock for things to make sense.

I appreciate your honesty about this and it is why I decided to ask Tony to answer your former post, because I was about to want to take over the place that Life has in your healing and growth.

It is not always easy to get ourselves out of the way to let Life do the work 

I do not want to respond to any of what you wrote, not because it does not touch me, but because I do not want to encourage you to do more thinking.

In a way we are all such do-ers; thinkers, believing that we can solve the issue with/in the same state of mind that created it.

Why not try to move beyond that state of mind by exploring a different approach?
http://dreamhawk.com/inner-life/water-wonderland/