H – The huge clues to your dream are not in your dream but in the other information - Significant others Deceased soon to be wife and, I feel her presence frequently, and this may be due to her daughter is with us.
From this I feel that the lady is really a real presence in you and in your life. Your significant other is a constant reminder, and so is the fact that he was about to marry her. Her daughter being there shows that in many ways she is no dead for him and for you. So your experience of ‘living with her’ presence in your life has been great. Because of that you have an inner ‘soon to be wife inside you. Many people do not realise that they have an inner person equally as powerful as an external person. You have taken in millions of bit of memory, lessons learnt, life experiences, along with all the feelings or problems met by being involved in this woman’s life through your significant other. The memories and experience we gather unconsciously change us and are not lost. It is part of you and is symbolised in dreams as a person or event. Such an inner person can appear in dreams because you are deeply influenced by what you hold within you.
So I believe the dream is about you trying to deal with the feelings from the ghostly though ever present woman in your life. The first dream is clearly you living out the fear that the ghost is claiming your man. You are obviously a loving woman, as shown in the dream where you hug each other. But I feel there is a way to resolve this.
So I suggest you imagine yourself back in the second dream (you do not have to have a perfect image of it, for it is really an expression of your feelings). Sit down at the table with her and honestly say to her what you feel, and that sometimes you feel she has an advantage. Tell her that you realise she has an important place in your man’s memories, but it is not good for anyone to be competitors. Then wait to hear her answer.
Every part of a dream, whether an object, person or animal, is alive with our own intelligence. Each part has been created out of ourselves in some way, and depicts some area of our own total being. We can therefore talk with them. Such dialogue is of great importance and very revealing. Be playful and curious in doing this. Question the character, and when you move to that role, let whatever your feelings are as that character motivate what you say and do. Exploring your dream in this way unfolds a great deal of information that would otherwise remain unconscious. It also enables you to make real changes in unconscious attitudes or habits, as you are literally dialoguing with areas of character patterning or programming, and can change them.
Tony
