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Author Topic: Mother & Ex featured  (Read 2781 times)

Dawn71

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Mother & Ex featured
« on: December 23, 2015, 11:48:18 PM »
Hiya, Happy Christmas Tony, Anna and everyone!

I can't recall all of my dream but the bits I do recall I need help with as it contains my mother and my ex mainly. Back history...was with ex four years and we decided to have a baby, 18 yr gap for me for child bearing so big decision. He was not your ideal boyfriend by far but with his longing to have a child at 47 thought it would be making of him as well as I decided I would love one last child in my fertile years.
It changed nothing about him, he loves our son a lot but makes very little effort to see him apart from sundays and sitting here at my house, won't take him out etc, always excuses of ill health etc.
We maintain a good relationship per say, but I do not want him back yet he persists in trying to get me back, which he could do and knows it through effort with our son, he won't so I am not interested, there is no love lust or pining from me, he's a narcissist categorically.
My mother lives with me with my dad, my home, they moved in with me as only hope of living back in UK again. Love them both loads and they do I. My dad and me are more alike, mum and me, well it's like she shows emotions towards me of jealousy and has for a long time, resentment feelings. I have no idea why, I am not well off, life is a struggle etc. I don't have a relationship with the perfect man and so on. Other people have commented on signs of jealousy in the way she treats me at times. Yet we are very close mostly but she turns on me if she's fed up as dad would call her on it, so does it to me when he's out of the room.

The dream...my son and my ex's son had a chocolate bunny and I was keeping it for him, my mother and my ex took it out and unwrapped it and started breaking it into pieces to eat it. I was deeply offended that they would eat his chocolate, they had eaten some already. Took it from them and put it back in fridge and reprimanded them for taking a baby's chocolate. Neither had any shame at all.
The two of them seemed to be in hoodwinks together in the dream and I remember my ex getting out a small bottle of champagne(which he really has and has never opened as waiting on right time, go figure you had a son!) and he was opening this bottle to celebrate with my mother. In the moment I remember looking at it thinking oh so now he see's it as just cause to open it and wondering why.
It was like they were of similar mind but they are not in life, my mother is very much against him, she accepts him but disproves rightfully of his little effort with his son.

Is this to do with how 'I' view them towards me? For different reasons. Even if so why would I dream of my mother eating my babys chocolate when she cares for him so much more actively than my ex does? I don't see them in the same way in regards to my baby son at all.
The whole scene seemed to focus on them being in the same boat but they come from entirely different perspectives regards to my baby son. Was my son symbolic in this instance?
About them both 'taking' from me? Unfairly?
Guess I need clarification!
Many thanks for reading
All the best
Dawn

Tony Crisp

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Re: Mother & Ex featured
« Reply #1 on: December 27, 2015, 09:41:01 AM »
Dawn – I do not believe the dream is directly about your ex or your mother, but about feelings you have that have grown in you from feeling alone in your efforts to care for yourself and your son.

You see them in the same boat because as far as your feelings are concerned they do not back you up or really support you with real sympathy.

I suggest trying to imagine a different ending to your dream. Don’t forget that nobody gets hurt in such imaginings no matter what you do to any of the characters.

Also it is fine to try different approaches until you reach satisfaction. Tests showed that imaging a different outcome was 75% as effective as actually doing it.

Tony – Have a good and better New Year
« Last Edit: December 27, 2015, 10:55:36 AM by Tony Crisp »

Dawn71

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Re: Mother & Ex featured
« Reply #2 on: December 29, 2015, 10:30:56 PM »
Thankyou Tony, I will do that.
Very much appreciated and have a great New Year  :)
All my best,
Dawn

Tony Crisp

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Re: Mother & Ex featured
« Reply #3 on: January 03, 2016, 11:58:10 AM »
Onwards the vision went,
Broader and inclusive,
Encompassing all around me
And beyond.
Here — there — and everywhere,
The coloured beauty
Such as flowers have
Was mingled with decay,
Corruption and with death.

And that was when the vision
Burst splendid on me,
As all the many parts
Merged into one grand theme,
Revealing to my feelings
And to my outstretched mind –
Another kind of Beauty.

Dawn71

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Re: Mother & Ex featured
« Reply #4 on: January 04, 2016, 10:02:56 PM »
Love this Tony, thanks for sharing, I could feel the words meaning. Visualizing too.