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Author Topic: Rejected and Emaciated  (Read 5089 times)

Romanov

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Rejected and Emaciated
« on: January 03, 2016, 04:13:31 PM »
Dear Tony,

Your advice needed please!

"Zee is sitting on a circular, three-legged, white stool beside a single bed.  Sitting on the single bed are two young girls.  One is darker than the other.  I walk into this room and go plonk myself on the bed between the two girls. The dark girl on the right hand side,closer to Zee, is informing him about her plans of the future.  Which if I remember correctly have something to do with leaving her job and getting settled down with him.  He answers back, that these are not his plans or that he is gay.  Now even in this dream  I am thinking that this girl has assumed too much.

Anyway, at this point I cringe at witnessing this, and I want to get up and leave the room.  As I am about to get up, the dark girl starts crying, having her heart broken by Zee's response.  Surprisingly, as I get up instead of leaving the room, I head towards the girl and embrace her.  As I take her into my arms, I feel her crying is deep, and she is emaciated. I am almost holding a skeleton. Her clothes are loose on her, and her trousers almost slip down, which I pull up.  At the same time, Zee (who is sitting behind me) pulls down the corner of my shirt which has risen up on my butts.  I realize that I don’t want others to see her crying so I take her to another room, and I still hold her in my embrace.  The other fairer, healthier girl was left behind sitting on the singe bed."

Zee is a dear male friend. He is gay. But over the years his body language had been very confusing. I thought he had been interested and for sometime had been without a guy.  Then one day, I got to know that he got back together with a guy who had earlier betrayed him.  I confessed my feelings to him, and I was scolded in return.  I feel deep hurt sometimes, but most of the days, I have taken it well.  I vacillate between whether I should remain friends with him or break all ties!  Am I not accepting the fact that I am deeply hurt?

Your interpretation would help me back on the right track!

Best regards
Romanov





Tony Crisp

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Re: Rejected and Emaciated
« Reply #1 on: January 05, 2016, 02:18:37 PM »
Romanov – I am going to write your dream in a different way, expressing what it is like if you accept every character as parts of your self. I may not have expressed all of your associations spot on, but I think you will get the idea.

I have feelings of attraction for a male friend, well mixed feelings because of what happened. The central me, what I usually call myself, enters into this complicated almost political situation going on in me. In front of me are two other aspects of me in the images of two girls. They are two sides of me that developed when I became attracted to men, and in some way haven’t developed further.

The dark girl is the passionate feeling me at that age, passions and emotions that could become painful enough to cause physical reactions, making the central me feel ill. The light haired girl is the more independent girl who is still with feelings and yet is not thrown about by them.

But because I still – the central me – can still feel her hurt, and I don’t want others to see me crying, so I feel uncertain of how I should react to this attraction I have to the man.

He has caring ways, but at the same time he has opposite reactions which I find hurtful. Perhaps if I take both girls into me – my arms – then perhaps I might find a balanced answer.

Tony

Romanov

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Re: Rejected and Emaciated
« Reply #2 on: January 05, 2016, 07:26:19 PM »
Hmmmmmmm......

Well I guess its time for me to grow up, Tony!

Your golden statement is "the girl who is still with feelings and yet is not thrown by them.".  I think I am getting there..... fingers crossed.

May you live long!
Romanov


Tony Crisp

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Re: Rejected and Emaciated
« Reply #3 on: January 06, 2016, 08:47:22 AM »
Thanks for the blessing, but I am not planning or hoping to live too long. The body wears out and I am ready to let it go, it having done a wonderful job.

Have you seen Victim? As it might be helpful in understanding where most of our miseries arise from. See http://dreamhawk.com/approaches-to-being/questions-2/#Victim 

Tony