Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Author Topic: Gravitas  (Read 4656 times)

Duality

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 2
    • View Profile
Gravitas
« on: January 23, 2016, 05:35:34 AM »
There's two dreams that I don't think I'll ever forget. Simply because of their utter...just...I feel the words "force" or "power" would deny the actual......Gravitas...... these dreams demonstrated to me. One I had not long ago. The other...I had last night. They're both opposite of each other, I feel, yet their gravitas was within the same realm, I think.

The first...It wasn't too long ago...maybe a few months (possibly a year?)...this was before I came into contact with a woman I could only have dreamed of and fell in love with...and lost not long ago (a few weeks, not sure why I feel compelled to think it's somehow relevant) And in this dream, I was in my old home back in Illinois looking outside at the sun from my office. And then the sun simply blacked out. Within minutes the entire sky went black (there were no stars). Then the air began to freeze, as I looked outside I saw as the landscape utterly froze before me. Eventually it froze the home, and I could FEEL myself being incased in ice...I...don't know how to describe it other than sheer, relentlessly forceful, and lifeless...I felt cold, but it wasn't uncomfortably cold (i.e. freezing cold)...I could see it so clearly, it was...it was utter shock and awe.

But...today...I had another dream...

Today, in my dream, I was looking outside from my bedroom, and someone was in the hallway...I don't remember if they said anything, or what they were saying. I just know someone else was there (and I don't know why that is somehow important)...it was night time. And as I turned back to the window all the lights outside blacked out yet (no stars or anything, I knew all the houses were still there though), off to the side of the window, and I couldn't see it fully...I saw a brilliant orangish-red glow, and as i tried to look at what it was coming from, it turned into a brilliant all encompassing light that covered everything. Suddenly I could no longer feel anything but a crushing weight of absolute power and burning warmth (it wasn't hot) cover my body. I struggled to move but it felt so absolutely futile to even to try to think about moving, and to just accept the weight and burning warmth. When the light faded there was nothing, not even me...

This didn't frighten me at all...the darkness or the cold that is (from both dreams), as I've accepted the void...that light though...it was unlike anything I've felt. I'd like to say something was unlocked...ignited...though...and I don't know why. What truly frightens me, is I don't even think my unconscious knows the origin of that light...and if it does, why won't it show me?...or is it important that it doesn't show me?...The past few weeks I've been doing things differently...or rather I've lost interest in things that previously made me happy for a long time...they no longer do so, yet, I feel driven to do other things that previously gave me no enjoyment...or I'm looking for new things that will...this is different from depression (I've been depressed before...) I feel...a fire in my chest that didn't exist before...a burning light...and it's desperately looking for something...something it had, and has now lost...but it is simply not content without it...it felt a connection to her unlike anyone it has known. It knows now that there are people out there like her...possibly even better...maybe...it is restless, and it will not stop until it has become one with someone like her again...it is tired of being alone...it has felt the eternity of loneliness and had accepted it...but that warmth...that light...that joy that she gave it...it was too ephemeral...it wasn't enough...it is determined to have it again...no matter the cost...but......if this light dies before I find another......that......is when I will truly be afraid...not of death...not of sickness...I am afraid of losing the only person that has made me truly happy...that even inspired me, even if it was for only a short time...I must find someone like that again. I can't stop; I will not stop...
« Last Edit: January 23, 2016, 08:28:32 AM by Duality »

Tony Crisp

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3419
    • View Profile
    • Dreamhawk.com
Re: Gravitas
« Reply #1 on: January 24, 2016, 11:15:39 AM »
Duality – All cultures that have tried to define the source of everything realised that it was neither light or darkness – because they were only what was produced in an enormous duality. IT was realised as Everything, but everything cannot be defined because any definition would something, so the Hebrews, before it was translated by male dominated society, called it The Unknown God - “AIN SOPH”

Your search for the ultimate partner is a very ancient search, and can probably never be completely satisfied with a physical woman until you have integrated your dual self. Like the symbol of the yin-yang it is dual, and each side of the duality (for instance male and female) has the other side in it, but shown as a secondary power. So the male has the female in him, and the female has the male in her. See http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/archetype-of-the-animus-jungs-view-of-the-male-in-the-female/

The search and this integration often takes years as the person – you – slowly become a whole being.

A way of doing this, which may lead you to several relationships with physical expressions of the female/many women, might be found in http://dreamhawk.com/approaches-to-being/the-lifestream/#Open

Tony

Duality

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 2
    • View Profile
Re: Gravitas
« Reply #2 on: January 25, 2016, 08:54:17 AM »
Light is only defined by the darkness from which it is able to distinct itself from, much like how we, as humans, create ourselves through our interactions with one and other as distinct individuals... I was very much satisfied with the woman I was with... she surpassed almost every other woman I've been with. In fact, she taught me some of the best qualities of what I'd love to see in someone...and some I'd best avoid...thus the light was born in me from what was mostly darkness for the first time...all from this woman. I finally found a lot of what I wanted in someone (perhaps I wasn't clear on this, I apologize for my vagueness.)

She was...incredibly wise. I had nothing but the desire to learn from her. She was dissatisfied though...with me being so inexperienced compared to herself...I lacked that 'mystery' to some extent for her...we thought (intellectually) on the same level, yet her knowledge trumped my own when it came to relationships...it's disheartening really...to find someone like her, only to dissatisfy her due to my own inexperience. That is why this light is so strong. I was able to connect to her even through my own inexperience...yet it eventually divided us and stopped our growth.

She forgave my inexperience...my mistakes...I felt nothing but compassion for someone so...understanding. I could only be frustrated with myself...yet, she told me not to be. And she's right...I shouldn't be...she said I should experience that with someone at my own experience level...I grew incredibly angry with myself at this thought though. This... absolutely brilliant woman was with me and I couldn't do anything to get rid of my own inexperience and satisfy her desires in order to be with her...incredible isn't it?...insane almost haha!

That Tony, is why this light is so strong. I know almost precisely what I want in someone now. This light was the piece I was missing...I feel whole...now, I can go through people until I find someone like her again, and along the journey I'll pick up some wonderful experiences. It could be a while...but that's what time is for ~ ...I'm happy to know what I want in someone yet I'm sad that I've lost one of those people...I suppose it's a sacrifice to learn though (you never realize the true value of something until you've lost it alas...) One I'll accept if it means I'll be able to be with someone of her caliber.
« Last Edit: January 25, 2016, 09:50:30 AM by Duality »