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Author Topic: Doctor  (Read 6776 times)

Omega

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Doctor
« on: April 03, 2016, 01:48:51 PM »
I discover a wound on my upper arm, I think it's jam and pull congealed red material away but it must be blood. Beneath a circular hole in the skin, raw flesh shows exposed beneath. A dark haired man appears, youngish, he says he's a doctor and needs to cut it open I don't want him to I say Why? And can't we leave it? He looks too casual to be a doctor. He's very insistent, I'm scared and don't want him to do it, I'm afraid it will hurt and that it's not even necessary at all. It's like he just wants to experiment rather than heal me. I wake up scared heart thumping, takes me three hours to return to sleep.

Being the thing:
Guy/'doctor' - I am power. I can do what I like. I don't care if it hurts you.
Wound - I am wound. No skin to protect. Open access to inner. I am a hurt and I attract more problems because of existing.
« Last Edit: April 03, 2016, 09:10:37 PM by Omega »

Tony Crisp

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Re: Doctor
« Reply #1 on: April 06, 2016, 02:36:25 PM »
Omega – Firstly, it is all taking place within you, and as you dream does not have anything much to do with waking life. But it does show a great deal about your inner attitudes which obviously then can create outer world events.

The Guy/Doctor is obviously a liar to say he can do as he like – unless of course you allow him, a part of you to do so. You have the power to choose in the inner world, though it is often difficult to do so outwardly -  but even so it is your choice. Maybe past events have ‘programmed’ you to react feeling you have no choice.

I am not saying this because I only know confidence in my life. I say it because I know the way. “Quite soon afterwards, still dreaming, the sound of a door creaking open made me sit up. Then from behind me two black men who looked as if they had risen out of a grave with flesh peeling off them approached me. I quickly made the sign of the cross and said some sort of holy words and the figures disappeared. I lay back again thinking it was a good thing I knew how to get rid of them. But as soon as I settled to sleep again the door creaked open and the two figures appeared once more. This time all my hand waving and words had no effect on their advance, and their hands closed around my throat and I woke screaming in terror. My wife, feeling my fear, got up and we switched on all the lights.”

That was my terror, and it took many years to face it. I didn’t know how then – remember I was born in 1937 and there were no web sites with people sharing their experiences. I had to grope and experiment.
To quote from Peer Dream Work, slightly altered, “The suggestions that follow have arisen from fifty years of dream work.

The foundations of this practice rest on an understanding, or a standpoint accepted or taken by the listener and perhaps the dreamer. It is you are an expression of life. Let’s forget anything about dream theory, because the very first step is to form an attitude to what is in fact you. Here is a being, you, a little chunk of life, and at the core of this living being, this living process, a process that has developed a sense of self, is the stuff of life. It is the stuff that makes heroes and saints, mothers, fathers, friends and foes. It is the essence from which arises the whole thrust of life. It is the living core of creative possibilities. If you look around you at what life does, you can see it can be a multitude of things. It can manifest as a lion or a flea, a giraffe or a tree. It is, at the same time, both a galaxy and an amoeba. And here it is, you, as a living example of the miracle of Life.”

Honestly Omega, you have it in you. So please try facing that idiotic part of you that says he has control of you – use http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/secrets-power-dreaming/

Tony

Omega

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Re: Doctor
« Reply #2 on: April 06, 2016, 09:22:33 PM »
Thankyou Tony.
As ever in these situations, there is usually a context which makes it difficult/impossible to protect myself. I am usually in a situation where I am outnumbered/ over-powered by far superior physical strength/ isolated/ paralysed or mute so I can't call on help. But in the link 'Power Dreaming'.. "Dreams are simply feelings put into images" - therefore these contexts, must be my feelings of powerlessness, manifested in the dream world.

I realise with this type of dream in particular, I am always feel very reluctant to do the extra layer of work, remembering it is bad enough. But I guess I need to push myself towards that confrontation.

Well as I can't get lucid in my dreams, the power dreaming method is my only option and waking life as well of course.

So if I want to create more beauty and bliss in life, is this the first step, confronting fears and healing wounds?
Is life stream the other part? Is there more?

Thankyou!  :)

Tony Crisp

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Re: Doctor
« Reply #3 on: April 07, 2016, 11:40:19 AM »
Omega - It is already explained so clearly in the myths and fairy stories. The sleeping beauty is an excellent example.

The young Prince (conscious mind), hears a legend (in-definite feelings from within) about a beautiful princess (the core) who lies asleep in a castle with all her attendants and family (the castle is the body, the attendants is ones potential not awakened). The young Prince seeks for the castle that he may find the Princess (he looks within himself to find the core within). He finds a way to it and sees it to be surrounded by weeds and huge briars, making immediate entry impossible (when we look within to find the core we first uncover all our fears, prejudices, ignorance and illusions etc. - our Karma). These he cuts down with his sword to make a path to the Princess. (We have to rid ourselves of all these barriers to the core-in earth time it may take many years). At last he comes to the Princess and sees how truly beautiful she is, worth all his efforts. He kisses her, and she slowly awakens. As she wakes, so also do all her family and attendants. (When we have cleared away our ignorance and illusions we begin to sense our core, and realise that it is indeed the long awaited BELOVED being returned to us. The conscious mind then begins to touch the unconsciousness of the core, this is the Prince kissing the Princess. As this contact is made, consciousness brings awareness or realisation to the unconscious potential, love and wisdom. The process is gradual, and with it the powers, wisdom and love of the soul also begin to manifest and awake.)

Your dream also is part of a Mythological Story you are writing - but you are still journeying through by experiencing it in time and space. When you have made the whole journey you will see your own version of it. At the moment you are at the briars - the guy/doctor is a figure created out of your own feelings of fear and vulnerability.

Tony

- anna -

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Re: Doctor
« Reply #4 on: April 07, 2016, 12:33:45 PM »

Dear Omega - I had a dream in June 2013 that helped/helps me understand what my fear was about.
Perhaps it helps you too?

There is a memory of what it is like to live close to what I feel inside. With every step I take I come closer to that memory.
I grab into something in which thorns are. I go through a door and look at my finger. I see what I reckon are small splinters in the index finger of my left hand.

When I sqeeuze around my finger with my right hand, two large thorns come out very easily, which I had not expected, as in neither that they were thorns, nor that they would come out so easily.


Anna  :)

Omega

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Re: Doctor
« Reply #5 on: April 07, 2016, 04:23:37 PM »
Thank-you Tony.

Omega

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Re: Doctor
« Reply #6 on: April 07, 2016, 04:28:30 PM »
Thankyou Anna. How did this dream help you? What were the emotions? Do you mean it was 'living close' because you were able to self-heal within the dream?

I had a dream some time back about Cacti, huge like you see in cartoons..cut down and floating like logs on a small stream. I was at an art event among artists and the public. One of the cacti brushed my hand and a few tiny spines became embedded in my finger. I looked at them closely wondering how Id get them out as they were hooked in. The dream zoomed in like a camera lense then, focusing on these things stuck in my finger and probably hurting.
It was not a strongly emotional dream but really drew my curiosity because of the imagery.
« Last Edit: April 07, 2016, 04:31:41 PM by Omega »

- anna -

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Re: Doctor
« Reply #7 on: April 07, 2016, 05:53:57 PM »

Omega - This dream was part of my process towards daring to work with LifeStream.
In order to survive as a child I had chosen to repress my feelings and allowing any painful feelings scared the shit out of me.
This dream helped me to understand - if only in a rational way at first - that allowing the painful feelings does not mean that I will be in pain for the rest of my life.
It was as if my child self still lived in this "timeless state of mind" where it saw everything as "lasting forever"
and so this part of me was very resistant towards allowing her pain.

There were no emotions yet in the dream, because I was not ready yet to "feel"; I was merely preparing and so I did not self-heal in the dream yet either.
Mind you, I started working on my dreams with Tony in the Forum in April 2013 and so I was still at the very beginning of this part of my inner journey.

I see your dream story - I like the idea of a cartoon  :) - as exploring LifeStream; "cut down and floating like logs on a small stream".
While allowing the flow, you feel hurt and/or irritated and you are not sure yet how to let go of these feelings.

I see the Forum as "an art event" too where we can learn to use our creative abilities and imagination and I trust that you will find your way to let go of "these things stuck in my finger and probably hurting".

Because you also mention your perception of "a cartoon", perhaps drawing and/or painting will be helpful for you too?
For a few years I have used watercolour painting  as a means to explore my inner world, and I have perceived it as incredibly helpful to express myself while not having to use words.
To me it is a form of release too.

Anna  :)


Omega

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Re: Doctor
« Reply #8 on: April 07, 2016, 09:19:02 PM »
Great thankyou for your reply Anna.

I will just pick up on one point that may be useful to other readers.
Since I began my healing journey all I have heard is that I need to 'let go' - let go, let go, let go
however letting go is the end of the process and not the beginning.
Letting go happens of its own accord as the result of proper processing.

What I have discovered is, like you mention, I actually couldn't face the pain. So on many levels I was delighted to 'let go' because that meant not seeking the truth, no conflict, no accountability.. no need for anger, no need to stand up for myself, no need for scary emotions.

What was really missing for me was a whole range of other emotions -
I'd been 'letting it go' my whole life - but I needed to do the opposite, to take my pain seriously.

So that's where I am right now - finally saying my pain is important it matters and I'll do no more letting go or letting people away with behaviour and not holding them accountable. Some of us are not trapped in the past - because we're the opposite we have completely blotted it out. So what I'm letting go of is my Amnesia. Some people need to let go of the past - others need to go and find it.

I like the idea of dreams as preparing us for emotions, directing us slowly..

Thanks for your post. It's helpful to me.
« Last Edit: April 07, 2016, 09:23:18 PM by Omega »

Tony Crisp

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Re: Doctor
« Reply #9 on: April 08, 2016, 10:17:37 AM »
Wonderful.

And thank you writing it out so clearly.

Tony

- anna -

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Re: Doctor
« Reply #10 on: April 08, 2016, 12:10:23 PM »
Quote
You wrote; "Since I began my healing journey all I have heard is that I need to 'let go' - let go, let go, let go."

Omega - I wonder if you can see that these people are merely reflecting your own repressor.

What I see is that these people helped you to become aware of your inner conflict between the part inside you that is the  repressor - "What I have discovered is, like you mention, I actually couldn't face the pain" - and the part that is the repressed - "What was really missing for me was a whole range of other emotions -
I'd been 'letting it go' my whole life."

With awareness growing I have often understood that what I had perceived as "people not having a clue about how to approach my inner world" were actually those who tried to help me see - although often unconsciously - what I was doing already to myself.

If we can agree that "blotting it out" has to do with not being aware, then we can  be trapped in the present too by approaching our inner and outer life without looking at what we are doing to ourselves Now.

For more than 2 years I have practiced becoming aware of how I relate to myself, my inner world and others in the "Now" and it has provided me with very valuable means to do what you perceive as helpful too;
Quote
proper processing.

To me "proper" also means that I can take back what I have projected because I can see it as part of my own approach as well; http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/projection/

Anna  :)

- anna -

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Re: Doctor
« Reply #11 on: April 08, 2016, 02:55:56 PM »

Omega - What is very helpful to me as well is to look at "missing a whole range of emotions" from the perspective of Dan Siegel;

http://www.drdansiegel.com/books/mindsight/

It is an eye opener!!

Anna  :)



Omega

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Re: Doctor
« Reply #12 on: April 08, 2016, 04:56:44 PM »
I take the point about people reflecting what I am doing internally, up to a point.

However they are also independent individuals making choices and this dynamic is happening on a huge level culturally, not just in my world.

The 'bully' is painted as an 'insecure' individual who deserves compassion. They are not self aware, they make other people carry their pain and more. Very rarely are they made to face themselves.

Meanwhile all the victims, reflect, study, try to heal, take responsibility, withdraw their 'projections'
There are a lot if people making Alot of money, by telling people to take responsibility for their 'projections'


I feel people who have been victimised in their lives are further victimised, by being told they are responsible because it is their projection that's the big problem. That's the point it stops being empowering and becomes disempowering - because other people are not being made accountable and are let off the hook entirely.

Even if the waking world is seen entirely as a projection, that doesn't mean I should accept any of it. I should fight, argue, refuse etc.. However everytime projection has been used by any healer/writer I have come across - it's used to dismiss and invalidate. Oh that 'just' a projection etc so I lose any righteous anger I may have had and slink back into self-analysis.

I feel this type of focus on withdrawing projections goes too far. There is a central point of balance and more clarity is sorely needed on this area. For instance someone who is already giving too much, can pick up a book about unconditional love and further damage themselves by pushing themselves further out of balance. So there much be such a thing a too much projection withdrawal or knowing when you are not projecting, because you have done the work, now you are witnessing.

Back to my dream at the start, obviously Im still working with energies internally. But I have had my intuition shot to pieces, by books telling me I'm projecting, when I simply was picking up on energies. Reminds me of the Catholic 'Don't Judge lest Ye be Judged' you end up too afraid to even think!

- anna -

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Re: Doctor
« Reply #13 on: April 08, 2016, 05:22:54 PM »
Omega - The way you have chosen to perceive my comment has nothing to do with what I tried to communicate to you and I am aware and will accept that you cannot hear me.

Anna  :)

Omega

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Re: Doctor
« Reply #14 on: April 08, 2016, 05:50:36 PM »
Ok. No worries Anna.

Tony, I would love your input on what I have written above about projection. Though it's come away from my original dream now and perhaps should be in 'Questions about Dreams'

..for my own purposes I do want to clarify the whole projection issue. I have yet to find a good clarification of it in any detail, hence my attempt at such clarification above. It's very pertinent to dreamwork. It's a sort of follow on to my previous post.

..after 'letting go' I'd say 'projection' is the second most common term I hear used. Therefore it's something I want to pick up on and clarify. Thanks.
« Last Edit: April 08, 2016, 10:47:42 PM by Omega »