Nightmares

[tulip]

Nightmares are not something I have often,but,I had one last night.I don't remember much other than that I was standing in front of a window and something came through it,like a large rock and I was showered with glass.I then recall shouting on my mum,but,my voice was almost gone,took me a while for her to hear me.She then went outside to a caravan to get my dad (dad has passed).I don't really remember anything else,but,I think I woke up shouting.

Tulip

[Tony Crisp]

 Tulip – Something shattered your feelings of security or protection. What had that effect just before the dream, because I feel it was that which led to it being a nightmare.

Your reaction to the glass shattering is one you often see in children, crying out for mum and dad’s help because you felt unable to deal with it yourself. See http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/individuation

The rock was a lump of reality that shattered your illusion of security. But perhaps you can change it by using http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/secrets-power-dreaming/ and facing the fears you met – for whenever we dream its images are not like real life, because a dream is nothing like outer life where things could hurt you, but is an image like on a cinema screen that even if a gun is pointed at you and fired it can do no damage – except if you run in fear; so all the things that scare you are simply your own fears projected onto the screen of your sleeping mind. See http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/fear-dealing-with/

Tony

[tulip]

I must apologise I forgot that I posted here. On reading what you say,I can't think of anything that happened prior to the dream that shattered my feelings of security.Nothing has really made any kind of big impact on my life lately.

tulip

[Weedy]

I have to say I can not be further than a dream analyst. But I am very interested in childhood trauma so I will approach your dream from this angle.

Rock breaking through the window before your mother appears could be a pattern how your mother used or still is appearing in your life, out of nowhere, unexpected, uninvited, very loud and with a strong action towards you. You trying to speak to your mom for a while without being heard proves the same picture, your mom is after her own agenda, and it must happen now, she ignored what you were doing before she appeared, by appearing she ruins your activity whatever you were busy in your life at that moment (window breaks).

Your dad seems to be withdrawed, he is outside, he is not protecting you or stopping the mother. Your mom, when she needed more support (cause in the dream you finally reach somehow to her and this puts her a bit off her course) could easily bring your dad to her side.

This picture seems to comunicate the need to set stronger personal boundaries. Maybe with your abusive mother if she is like that in reality. Or with some other people in your life who are intruding into your life and bring disturbance.

I hope it helps.

[tulip]

Interesting Weedy.I wouldn't class my childhood as traumatic,but it wasn't  "normal" either.My parents argued a lot and physically fought occasionally.Both parents became heavy drinkers and I was always the one who had to deal with things,being the oldest.

What is jumping out at me here is

"You trying to speak to your mom for a while without being heard proves the same picture, your mom is after her own agenda"

My mother is exhibiting symptoms of the early stages of dementia,(it runs in the family),where she acknowledges that her memory is going,she will not go to the doctor.My brother and I have tried many different ways to help her,but she simply is not interested.

My father passed a few years ago,so this would explain him being withdrawn.My mother isn't abusive,however,I live closest to her,so it is always me that has to deal with her,I feel she takes over my life sometimes and I have no time to myself.

Your explanation has made a lot of sense, thank you.

Tulip

[Christine]

I hope you do not mind my commenting.  I always thought my Mom's side of my family (I am 57 she has passed) struggled with early onset dementia and alzheimers.  I went through early menopause, as did they, at age 39.  For a long time I thought I had and the doctors thought I had psych problems, depression and/or anxiety.  Out of desperation I went to a naturopath about 10 years ago who diagnosed a very severe Vitamin D deficiency.  A couple of years ago I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's Disease, which is thyroid related.  I take two thyroid meds every day, Vit D, A, Iron and Zinc, and a few other things.  I am now in remission and feel better than I have in about 20 years.

The thyroid gland produces 2 thyroid hormones, t4 and t3.  t4 is converted to T3 and only t3 is used by the body.  For a lot of reasons, the conversion mechanism can slow down or break.  People with low t3 and free t3 are likely to have mental health symptoms, even mimicing dementia and alzheimers.  You might want to check if she has had a full thyroid panel done, including Free T3 and Total T3.  So many vitamins, minerals, etc affect the thyroid.  Maybe she would be more open to a Naturopathic type of a doctor.

I was so grateful to have found a diagnosis and this information about my family's health history.  I believe my Mom and her sisters had undiagnosed thyroid problems.  People who have European ancestry have a genetic predisposition to it. 

I am hoping the above might be helpful to you in some way.

[Weedy]

My parents argued a lot and physically fought occasionally.Both parents became heavy drinkers and I was always the one who had to deal with things,being the oldest.

That sounds to have been a very difficult childhood. What does a child experience when parents fight? Loud or even physically? This would make every child very anxious. I am not wondering now at all about the stone breaking through the window and your mother appearing right after this. It shows an intrusion, violence, force you found hard to take but also not being able to protect yourself from as a child.

It is normal to have a lot of denial about the true level of trauma in childhood. It is a psyche protection mechanism in order to stay loyal to primary care givers for survival purposes and not lose the mind because of paralel abuse from the same source.

Take a look at Adult Children of Alcoholics information. I would recommend Lisa A. Romano channel on YouTube.

My brother and I have tried many different ways to help her,but she simply is not interested.
I feel she takes over my life sometimes and I have no time to myself.

This indicates me a codependency tendency ingrained in you as the oldest child who had to take care of other siblings and maybe the whole family unit. It is still operating in you as an adult because it has been made unconscious since your early days.

I am sure now my first interpretation was right even though I doubted then if I should jump in without any experience of dream interpretation. Thank you for sharing more personal information.

Lisa A. Romano speaks also about codependency and I think it is a good place to start.

I hope you won't regret posting this on this forum and me answering... your dream seems to open you not a very easy chapter. But your dream indicates it is time for you to do so.

I am going through smth similar btw Best of luck!

[Tony Crisp]

Tulip - It was your inner life that was or is being shattered, not outer events. See http://dreamhawk.com/inner-life/inner-world/#MakesInner

Tony

[Weedy]

Tulip - It was your inner life that was or is being shattered, not outer events. See http://dreamhawk.com/inner-life/inner-world/#MakesInner

Tony

There is no contradiction in what Tony said and I did. It is two arrows from two different systems of interpretation that are pointing to the same direction, inner life.

When a child is small she believes that external world is her inner life. Theres no boundary. A baby in the first months of life does not understand that she and mom are two different people. So everything that happens in her life IS her inner life experience. Thats why early experiences shape our inner landscape and ingrave subconscious patterns of coping as adults.

If things develop well, a child separates and differenciates from the parents in time. Still she internalises parents (I knew only about parents before). If the process does not go well or is not completed, toxic internalised parents keep driving an adult inner life and also many of the external behaviours.

In my opinion the separation process from parents might be not complete therefore a real small even outside has a strong impact on internal life.

[Tony Crisp]

Thanks for all the responses.

All I would like to add is a bit more to what Weedy has said so well - so see http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/individuation/ and also http://dreamhawk.com/body-and-mind/every-seven-years-you-change/

Tony