Dear Weedy - Many people do not realise that they have an inner husband equally as powerful as an external husband. You have taken in millions of bit of memory, lessons learnt, life experiences, along with all the feelings or problems met by loving and living with your husband, and they are what makes you the person you are. This is true even if your husband was never there for you – you still have all the memories of him not being there for you filed under ‘husband’. The memories and experience we gather unconsciously change us and are not lost. It is part of you and is symbolised in dreams as a person or event. Such an inner husband can appear in dreams because you are deeply influenced by what you hold within you.
That he is dead makes it even more real, and it can also be a mixture of a real communication and your own mixture of feelings. Nothing we sense in the world is directly known, but it is all impressions that are translated into a sense of smell, sight, hearing, etc. So the eye receives reflected light from an object that is translated into nervous impulses, which is then received by the brain which translates what are formless nerve impulses into what we feel we see.
So in dreams we tend to put pictures or images collected from everyday experiences to put an interpretation on our formless dreams. We do this because we tend to have an experience of the world based on our body senses, and our dreams and communications from the dead come from a very different environment, so we put it in images and ideas we understand. So when we dream about a dead person communicating with us it can be distorted by our view of what death is – or our associations with the dead person.
So any uncertainty of worries or feeling that you lost contact with him causes the dream to go in different or difficult ways. Also the, “shock of reality in the morning that would hit me for the next few days” can cause enormous repercussions in your dreams. It seems you have not really adapted to his death and what the experiences of the dead are. Remember that at death we have no physical organs to speak through, so it all has to be done through thoughts. Also that at the level of thoughts we create huge difficulties by what we think. So a thought such as, “I am not a medium so I cannot talk with my dead husband” is like a brick wall that we have created and cannot get through. Thoughts and imagination are incredible powerful and are real at the level of dreams and the dead – and of course our own inner world.
I am not sure what the other man lying with him means, but you can find out for yourself, for all dream images are projections of your own realisations and emotions, but can be only semi-conscious, so use
http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/acting-on-your-dream/#BeingPersonTony
