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Author Topic: Another dream of my first love  (Read 1938 times)

Person3210

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Another dream of my first love
« on: June 25, 2016, 05:55:42 PM »
I'm a guy FYI, I fell in love with her (or whatever you want to call it) in grade school, I'm now 31.

I found out she is getting married this Sept. I found this out maybe 2 months ago. I know I was a little shocked and saddened, but maybe its now just starting to "hit me" even if only on a subconscious level.

What I remember about my dream last night--
I was in public place, maybe on vacation, then out of nowhere she comes up to me to say hi. First thing that was different about this dream she kisses me on the lips. This was more of a hello kiss, but why on the lips? And in all my other dreams about her I don't recall us ever kissing in any way. Second she comes up to me to say hello, which usually doesn't happen. Mostly when I dream about her we just happen to be in the same place at the same time kinda thing, or I want to say hi to her but I can't (too nervous, shy, etc). That was and still is a problem that I have with her - I can't talk to her, I just freeze up out of anxiety.

Then i remember us walking and talking briefly (dont remember about what), until we are near her now soon to be husband. Who turned out to be a different than the real person (i've seen pictures of him so I know). Don't know why the guy 'appeared' different. I think I had the feeling they were being nice and reaching out to me to give me an invite. Maybe.

Then she hands me a small envelope with a wedding invitation. I think I remember her saying it would nice if I came to the wedding.
Don't remember how the meeting ended or how we parted ways from there. But I remember never actually opening the envelope and reading the invite, I think I was afraid to.
Third thing is different in this dream - I know she would never invite me to the wedding. Not to be mean, but because we are not friends, and never were, and we haven't spoken to each other in 3+ years (which was through facebook). I also remember the date that I last saw and spoke to her in person (Sept 23, 2003). She would always tell me it would not be good for me if we became friends or talked too much, that it would give me false hope or something. So the fact that she approached me in the dream I find very strange.

This dream is really sticking with me because I was so different than all the other times I've dreamt about her. Like it was all the opposite of what usually happens.

I would love to hear some feedback. Sorry if I started to ramble, it is my first post on this forum.
Thanks.

Tony Crisp

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Re: Another dream of my first love
« Reply #1 on: June 26, 2016, 12:54:17 PM »
Person3210 – I need to tell you certain things for you to understand what your dreams is telling you. Nearly always when people dream about someone they know or a strange new person or situation they automatically believe the dream is about that person, situation or animal. But when we think of our friend or partner our thoughts are not them – just our thoughts and feelings about them. So dream images are ways of communicating via our associations not actual things or people. In the world of dreams our most intimate fears and longings are given an exterior life of their own in the form of the people, objects and places of our dream.

So the news of the girl you fell in love with was actually stimulating your need for love and also your inner female. Also you perhaps do not realise that they have an inner person/lover equally as powerful as the external person you knew. You have taken in millions of bit of memory, lessons learnt, life experiences along with all the feelings or problems met by meeting or knowing them, and they are what makes you the person you are.  The memories and experience we gather unconsciously change us and are not lost. It is part of you and is symbolised in dreams as a person or event. Such an inner person can appear in dreams because you still carry the memories or impressions of them, and so they influenced what you hold within you.

In your case you never told her what you felt and so a massive amount of your feelings where kept inside you under pressure, ready to explode into the dream you had. But your dream also suggests something else – marriage – which is, in dreams, not usually about finding and external woman and marrying her, but the discovery of your own inner female. Physically a man is predominantly male, but also has nipples and produces some female hormones. Psychologically, we may only express part of our potential in everyday life. In a man, the more feeling and caring side may be given less expression. Apart from this some functions, such as intuition and unconscious creativity may also be held in latency. These secondary or latent characteristics are depicted by the female in male dreams. The femaleness or maleness must not be confused with personality. The conscious personality is a very flexible and shapeshifting thing. It can be male or female in quality no matter what the body gender. But in dreams, the female is the receptive, creative aspect of this shapeshifting personality. See http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/archetype-of-the-anima-jungs-view-of-the-female-in-the-male/

Most dreams are not directly about our external life but are mirrors of our inner life. See http://dreamhawk.com/inner-life/inner-world/#MakesInner

In dreams, there is nothing you need be afraid of – because a dream is nothing like outer life where things could hurt you, but is an image like on a cinema screen that even if a gun is pointed at you and fired it can do no damage – except if you run in fear; so all the things that scare you are simply your own fears projected onto the screen of your sleeping mind.

Your fear led to remembering “never actually opening the envelope and reading the invite, I think I was afraid to.” But the invite was to meet and marry your inner lover. Doing that changes everything about relating to an external woman. You have so many beliefs about dreams that are false that you turned the very helpful dream into a strange lie – the man changed in the dream is an example of a helpful theme that through misunderstanding led you to strange conclusions.

Tony

Person3210

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Re: Another dream of my first love
« Reply #2 on: June 27, 2016, 02:28:30 AM »
Thank you so much for the reply Tony.
It's a lot to absorb.

In your case you never told her what you felt and so a massive amount of your feelings where kept inside you under pressure, ready to explode into the dream you had.

Actually she knows. She was aware of my feelings for her right away, going back to grade school.
However, I doubt she is aware I still dream and wonder about her.
I'm not sure if that changes the interpretation of the dream.
« Last Edit: June 27, 2016, 02:40:29 AM by Person3210 »

Tony Crisp

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Re: Another dream of my first love
« Reply #3 on: June 27, 2016, 08:37:48 AM »
Person3210 - I wrote wrongly, but I was referring to, "I want to say hi to her but I can't (too nervous, shy, etc)."


Well any interpretation is only my educated guess. But the best way is to imagine yourself as the dream woman, the you can know what your dream is really about - see http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/acting-on-your-dream/#BeingPerson

Tony