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Author Topic: Male Domination and Working with Women  (Read 2701 times)

Christine

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Male Domination and Working with Women
« on: August 30, 2016, 03:35:15 AM »
I had a dream last night and am feeling that it is somewhat connected to one I had last week.

I have also been thinking that what I wanted was not in or duplicating my parent's house.

Last week, one of my dreams told me that a source of conflict for me is the way men see themselves as compared to the way I see them.  The dream told me that generally men see themselves as being above women and I see myself self as being equal to male authority figures and above most men.

I was getting on an elevator and a group of men, also getting on, told me they were going to a floor above mine.  I got into an elevator alone and a man passed me without looking at me.  I went to the basement, focusing on the desktop and not paying attention to other men or the environment.  I am pretty empathic/intuitive and sometimes telepathic, picking up and hearing what others are really thinking.

I do understand that the dream was also about the level of attention that men do not give to each other or me, possibly.  Am I looking for a level of attention that men do not even give to each other, nevermind someone "below" them?

One on one relating has always been the most satisfying for me as well as the most painful.

It was a helpful dream and I am still processing it.  I will pause for now and add the second dream in a bit.


Ok.  In the latest dream I am working in an office with all these grey men...but do not see myself as part of their group.  In one scene or picture I am sitting on the edge of the group and in another I am sitting at the end of a long narrow office...no windows.  There are men working around me, yet we all do financial analysis and write reports and do not interact with each other very much.  At one point, I overhear a conversation and volunteer that I have a copy of the SIC code (standard industrial classification) codes in my desk if they need them. 

In looking at myself in relation to the dream I realize that I like to have information that no one else has and that providing needed information was a way for me to get attention from men.  That did not mean they valued me, however.  Disappointing.

In last nights dream I am walking toward a row of 3 or 4 desks lined up against a bank of windows.  Everything is white.  It is for women who are working together and my desk is in the middle.  As I walk towards my desk...I see than someone has put several flowering plants on my desk.  They are between dead and hardy.  A Christmas Cactus that is dried up and needs some water if it is to bloom, an orchid...both are particularly tricky
plants to care for.  There are others...I think I see a lady slipper...I pick it up and say "there are too many."  I look around and notice that the other desks each have one plant and there are also a few scattered on the ledge next to the windows.  The plants are colored...everything else is white.

A woman comes up to me and hands me an old squared off table leg or post...the finish has been worn off.  I am holding it and another woman hands me a handwritten note in pencil...it says something like FA 377 or FU 377.  It is where I am to go to deliver it.

Next I enter a large hall and there are items on display for sale.  Everything is grey or dark...there is jewelry...beauty products....candles...incense...nothing appeals to me...there is nothing I need or want.  I go further into the room and there is a table with what looks like a Thanksgiving buffet on it.

I see a meatloaf and a turkey.  They are made of chocolate and are colored like the real meats.  A woman comes up next to me and starts pulling off some of the turkey and eating it saying "this tastes like collard greens."  I think this is ridiculous and unappetizing.  I move further down the table and turn left following the l shaped table.

There is a white chocolate sculpture made into a woven looking basket.  It is gorgeous!

That is what I want I think.  It is what it appears to be.  It is also my favorite kind of chocolate!

Lots of good information...a lot to process.  No rush for a response.






« Last Edit: August 30, 2016, 06:55:47 AM by Christine »

Tony Crisp

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Re: Male Domination and Working with Women
« Reply #1 on: August 31, 2016, 09:28:56 AM »
Chris – What you said in – “The way men see themselves as compared to the way I see them.  The dream told me that generally men see themselves as being above women and I see myself self as being equal to male authority figures and above most men.” This is huge social problem in some nations, but for other nations like Sweden it has been tackled well. See https://sweden.se/society/gender-equality-in-sweden/ The leading countries for equality are: Iceland, Norway, Finland and Sweden.

Where it is a social problem it is a constant unless a great pressure group builds up against it. Otherwise it is an individual problem.

It is an inbuilt drive in most healthy human, women and men, to want to be appreciated. I think this is a national problem. I once drove to Leeds in northern England to lead a group, and at the time I felt very lonely and unnoticed. Having been to rural Greece where people really notice and acknowledge you and take in what you are doing, when I walked through the covered market in Leeds, nobody met my eyes; except for one black male who really looked. It must have been strange for him that a white male gave him a meaningful exchange.

At times this becomes even an idiotic thing, like being politically correct. While collecting my children from school I witnessed a young girl run and fall over. She was crying badly and was obviously hurt, so I went and picked her up and held her. She didn’t mind, but the headmaster came running toward me screaming – yes screaming – “Don’t touch that child!!”

We all have a long way to go, you too Chris, to live in a real human society. Your problem is a mixture of thing. The mass of men and women grow up in ready-made attitudes about the world and each other. The psychiatrist Erich Fromm in his book Fear of Freedom analyses the greatest human fear. It is the fear of being different from everyone else. It leads to a huge sheep like behaviour where everyone – nearly – has to stay in the herd to feel safe.

I faced this as a child having an Italian name during the war – where Italians, even though born in the country were treated like enemies. You as a woman, born in a country where men were raised to feel superior, treated you as inferior of the species.

I didn’t find positive thinking was working for me, but positive ‘feeling’ did. This was by remembering all that you have achieved through your own efforts, then honour yourself in recognition of the battles you fought to get there. When you have got through to feeling that, stand in front of a mirror, and recognise yourself, and with pride wear the medals you got – for you are a veteran.

“I see myself self as being equal to male authority figures and above most men.”

Tony

Christine

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Re: Male Domination and Working with Women
« Reply #2 on: September 02, 2016, 01:35:33 AM »
Tony,

Yes the inner validation for my own authority seemed to have gotten lost.  It does not matter where or when, only that I claim it now.

Funny last night I dreamt I was standing facing  a large cherrywood desk.  If there was someone sitting there I would be looking straight at them.  But no one was in the seat.

Then a couple gives me an object or a statue...it is not soft...but hard and smooth, like a statue or sculpture... white human with grey wings, like a fairy.  Almost like tinkerbell.  The face is tuned away from me and is blank.  The man asks "is it a man's body" and I say "no it is female."

The desk I get...the fairy part I have to think about...perhaps you might have some idea.

It has been getting cooler here...I love this weather in the 70's and 80's, low humidity and sunny.  Sometime in September we will get one or two more blasts of hot humid air...Indian Summer.  Is your weather similar there?

« Last Edit: September 02, 2016, 01:40:27 AM by Christine »

Tony Crisp

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Re: Male Domination and Working with Women
« Reply #3 on: September 02, 2016, 11:10:31 AM »
Chris – We have a few days of brilliant sunshine followed by as many or more days of rain. Wales has most of it near the coast with wind gathering rain clouds across the whole Atlantic. So it is a very green land.

“But no one was in the seat.” Our core self has no form so is invisible to us – as everything it cannot be some thing. We are a paradox.

The blank face is also a sign of no personality - in other words a spiritual being. Again suggesting the core self. What we cannot quite grasp - what is too vast and many sided for us to hold entirely in our thoughts at any one moment, we give form to in paintings, in carvings, in stone, in piling rocks one upon another to form a monument. We may then venerate or hold as of immense value such art forms. They contain in them the vast dimensions of the ungraspable, of the infinity of our own within. They stand before us as representatives of the alien in our midst, in ourselves.

The fairy is half a winged creature and half a human form; isn't that what you are?.

Tony
« Last Edit: July 12, 2018, 09:21:14 AM by Tony Crisp »

Christine

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Re: Male Domination and Working with Women
« Reply #4 on: September 10, 2016, 06:07:36 AM »
Tony,

Thank you for your help and encouragement.

I was also recently diagnosed with sleep apnea.  So it will be interesting to see how my dream life changes once I get used to the CPAP machine.

I will check in soon!

Chris

Tony Crisp

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Re: Male Domination and Working with Women
« Reply #5 on: September 16, 2016, 09:06:14 AM »
Chris - Thanks for keeping in touch/contact.

Tony