Thanks for the reply. That does seem to make sense that I seemed to have met one obstacle after the other. I can see that it shows that something is missing. Thank you for the encouraging words about potential. When I was younger, I thought of facing adversity in a different way, like you showed that you were better than your challenges by getting into a better situation. I can see the wisdom of seeing that the difficult aspects of experience are a part of oneself and one can accept it and use it to become a better, more evolved person. So instead of fighting and rejecting, envisioning and making progress towards a greater self and to realize a unique and valuable identity that includes experiences and challenges.
I really had a strong preference for a rags to riches identity when I was young, and it doesn't always seem to have worked for me. I still want to feel like I have transformed my life, and get away from painful situations and it seems like how I view that journey needs to grow and evolve into something that makes more sense for adult life. It was really easy to have the mythology that I was Cinderella and I was going to make everything better and really apply myself towards that. Now, I have no poor background and discrimination to fight against and I have had feelings of having less hope.
I attempt to find some kind of framework that will carry me on my journey, like maybe adopting positive beliefs/ outlook again and being aware of the outcomes I want and moving towards them. It is hard to find a belief or outlook to hold on to to make life seem like I am going in the direction of a positive future again with the things I want.
Maybe in adult life you don't have big ideas, you just take steps forward until you get there. I think succeeding on the way is the only way to find out, and despite the meaning I had in life as a younger person, taking on the world to overcome things, I didn't succeed at everything I that I could have because that is exactly what was missing, having the resources and awareness to succeed at the things I needed to that were important.
I guess it is okay to still have obstacles, but I can work past them and still see that meaning and hope and get through them. And obstacles still have to be met before you get to the next thing. I didn't see the obstacles as so bad when I was an adolescent, and maybe they don't have to be bad now. They are still the same obstacles, and I can see life as being just as good, and it being just as much of a journey to overcome obstacles and make life better. So I guess in summary, it helps to see one's experiences and challenges as having potential. It can be confusing to get to where you want to go, so I guess it also helps to make progress and see that things are changing. Also,when you are an adolescent, it is easier to face things, but maybe as an adult, you need to see obstacles in the same light, and to find joy in dealing with them and the process of life.
Thank you again for the feedback and sharing the video about the girl with autism. Thanks again.
