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Author Topic: Tainted Social Interactions  (Read 1602 times)

horizen

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Tainted Social Interactions
« on: December 17, 2017, 10:40:54 PM »
I just dreamt that I was in a highly social setting, it almost had the feel of back at school, where you're amongst hundreds of people your own age.  Only we were grown, young adults.  In the dream I encounter many people, my brother J among them.  This is an encounter that gave me great anxiety and filled me with mistrust, wondering just what he'd do to negate me in front of everyone this time.  (In real life he had watched as I was abused by someone powerful, and chose to take advantage of the situation by bullying me for years; gossiping, encouraging his friends to bully me for him).  In this dream as I pass by him, whatever brief interaction we had, it feels me with great wariness.  I really don't want to be in ANY social situation where this man is also in attendance.  He may restrain himself into a public facade of neutrality to my face, but he's cooking something up behind the scenes to negate me everytime.

In the same social dream, when it is time for dinner, I sit across from a girl I am friends with and trust and respect.  Beside her is another girl, who I do NOT trust.  She has associations with my bullying brother. However loose, they are still there.  However, I figure she is not going to try anything publicly with our mutual friend here. Well, we are at the long table, with wonderful food before us.  There is some lobster which my friend offers me, I said I would like it "well done" as I am afraid it might be too raw (which could lead to food poisoning or worms, or be otherwise  tainted).  I don't usually eat meat, and am worried I'll be grossed out by lobster, hence my need to ensure it is thoroughly cooked.  My friend smiles and takes it off the table; she puts it under the table just out of my sight, where she assures me several times she is cooking it.  Meanwhile she is friendly and chatty with the other girl beside her, as well as myself.  I decide to look under the table, to check its progress -- I discover there is no cooking apparatus at all, she was lying to me.  She and the other girl wanted to trick me into eating something that would make me sick.  She urges me to eat the piece of lobster, repeatedly putting it on my plate.  My charming fun-loving brother encouraged them to poison me.  I leave the table.

I have a vague memory of being pursued or chased by something that wants to invade and overtake me.  Of being forced to eat or touch something parasitic that would live in me and completely take me over.  Like an alien possession.  I am running away, trying my best to evade. It's like I'm being hunted. 

Next scene:  I am pulling worms out from my upper gums, between my teeth, and the roof of my mouth.  Which is the worst nightmare I can think of in terms of the grotesque.  Just as I manage to pull one out, there is another.  And on and on it goes.  It is a struggle to remove them, as they are deeply embedded.  However, with great patience and persistence I do manage to remove them.  There is that.  I associate them with food, with my interactions with people.  In fact, when I remove them and throw them on the ground, they morph into the shape of waffles.  Someone I used to know walks by and steps on them.  They spring right back, like a sponge.  I have no doubt I caught these from interacting with people.  From what they "fed" me via social interaction. 

I go outside.  I want out of  this social gathering.  I'm done.  I'm walking through the grass.  The pine trees.  I feel much better as I move away from that whole scene.  In front of a garage type area, I start washing my hair.  I work the rich lather into my scalp.  Just when I am about to rinse the shampoo out a man I knew from work approaches me.  He is old enough to be my father.  He was always extremely friendly toward me and liked me.  But in the dream its like he is over the top sweet to me because he wants something more from me.  He offers to rinse out my hair.  I decline.  I'd rather just wash my own hair and not have a man's hands in it I hardly know.  But he pushes forward and ignores me.  All while being super nice.  As if he's just a nice guy who wants to lend me a hand without ulterior motive.  I know what the ulterior motive is.  He would never stop to help me if he didn't want something from me.  Yet, at the same time I wonder if its possible he is just a nice person and that's all there is to it.  He wants to be nice so badly that he isn't listening to me or taking any cues.  On the other hand, I actually am too nice to firmly tell him to leave me alone.  I tried telling him I wanted to do this on my own; he didn't listen and started washing my hair.  The only other step for me would be to be rude and firmly tell him no, in such a way it would hurt his feelings.  So I submit to his washing my hair, but I am uncomfortable and counting the seconds for this encounter to be over.  Now he wants to rinse my hair with the water.  I say "No, no, I've got it. Thanks" But he again moves and starts rinsing my hair, all acting sweet as pie as he does so.  Suddenly another person enters the mix.  A cool tough girl my age approaches.  And She wants to rinse my hair!  They begin competing with one another over who will get to rinse my hair.  I feel they both want the same thing from me and I have 2 people fighting over my attentions for their own personal gratification, neither of whom I have any interest in.  I have the thoughts that neither of these people are genuinely nice and kind and giving; they just want to use me to gratify something for themselves.  Here I am being fought over by 2 people I have no interest in, and I am too kind or timid to hurt their feelings and forcefully tell them to leave me alone.  While they are arguing with each other, the girl, who is famous for being a strong personality, manages to intimidate the man, and he retreats into his car.  He's trying to act like he's not intimidated, but he is.  He doesn't want to loose face in front of me. So one benefit is, at least her presence scared him away.  It was a relief to see that he was making to leave.  One problem eliminated.  However, that leaves me with her, and I have yet to formulate a strategy to get out of that situation.  However, my primary feeling is relief that the man is gone.  I could never have gotten rid of him on my own.  He was too nice (or at least playing at nice).  I could never be rude or firm with him if I thought it might hurt his feelings.  This girl however is tough and strong.  I'm not as worried about hurting her feelings.  I'm more worried she'd be mean to me if I told her to go away.  But that is much preferable to hurting someone's tender feelings.  I start wondering what strategy I should use to get free of her.  One solution begets  another problem.  It seems all social interactions are power plays, with hidden or not so hidden motivations, everyone out for getting what they want, and I don't know how to exist in this.  I don't want to play the game.  I don't want to be like them.  I don't want to have to be mean in order to survive socially, or be hurtful in order not to be overpowered.  The  dream ends and I realize I've made some progress; I've removed worms (from supposed "nourishing" social interactions), I've left one situation I didn't want to be in, I'm at least attempting to wash my own hair (which symbolizes a healthy cleansing of long held thoughts and attitudes).  I'm outside, and happier seeing more trees and less people.  And for the people that are there now, at least they are fighting for my affections and not trying to overtly dominate and "lessen" me, although I feel that may be what is happening in the undercurrent.  There is a feeling of moving toward a better place, yet still struggling to understand how to deal with people when I have to, without being completely overtaken by them. 

Tony Crisp

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Re: Tainted Social Interactions
« Reply #1 on: December 18, 2017, 11:57:22 AM »
Hi Horizen – You are being so nice in your dream to others, maybe because you are so aware of how it feels to be mistreated by others. But I have learned that all the people, animals, places you see in your dreams, are simply your own feelings, fears, hopes and wonder projected onto the screen of your sleeping mind as images. So in a real way all the complicated manoeuvres in your dream are you shifting your own values and feelings about in various patterns to find an answer. But as you didn’t find one you must try a different approach.

Although we are used to thinking of animals showing conditioned reflexes, as with Pavlovian training, we seldom realise what a large part they play in human life. This is obvious in the problems we would face in going against social conditioning. When we move against an implicit social conditioning, we feel the pressure or pain of that – whether it is sexual, clothing, or whatever it is. If we go against such conditioning we may discover the underlying feelings and forces that have created the conditioning in the first place. Dreams often reveal to us what our conditioning is, and how it was imprinted.

You have been conditioned by years of bullying.
 
Example: When I left my first wife and was living with my present wife, we shared a lovely country cottage in a small hamlet. Although beautiful, the few months I lived there was an emotional hell because I was away from my children, and because of the pain of the divorce. My second wife and I then moved to be nearer my children. We had left some beehives at the previous cottage however, and so six months later we started driving back to collect them. On the way I started experiencing severe stomach pains. The suddenness of this, and the fact I couldn’t think of any physical cause for the pain made me investigate my feelings. As soon as I did this it was obvious that a part of my nature which was usually unconscious, was just like my dog, responding in a conditioned reflexive way. The cottage was a place of torment – why were we going back? More to the point, how could it stop me going back? How could it deter me from facing that pain again? As soon as I explained that we were not staying there and the painful situations no longer existed the pain went and never came back.

This shows how an old bad experience can physically affect us. An important point here that needs to be emphasised is that the unconscious is not a mechanical thing but is a part of our own living mind and consciousness, and is responsive. As shown by the example above our instincts, the animal we are and meet in dreams and in the unconscious can respond by being talked to – just as an animal does that trusts us. So when you suffer panic attacks and sudden unexplained pains you can talk to your animal/instincts and it can often help.

You started in a school environment, suggesting there was something to learn. Also read http://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/active-passive/

Tony

horizen

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Re: Tainted Social Interactions
« Reply #2 on: January 09, 2018, 12:26:42 PM »
"The unconscious is not a mechanical thing but is a part of our own living mind and consciousness, and is responsive."

Truer words were never spoken.  Thank you Tony, for sharing your experiences, dreams, and insights.  You really understand the language of the "subconscious." 

I was looking back over old dreams and realized while this dream was richly steeped in symbolic unconscious patterns, it also sort of foreshadowed what was to come in the days ahead (at least a part of it).  Turns out during the big holiday get together I DID eat meat for the first time in years, and I DID get food poisoning from it!  In fact, half the party did.  Obviously, my brother didn't literally poison anyone, but he was there, and he did behave the way I predicted in other respects (being merely socially poisonous). 




Tony Crisp

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Re: Tainted Social Interactions
« Reply #3 on: January 11, 2018, 10:35:29 AM »
Horizen - That is some story.

I haven't noted it myself, but Edgar Cayce stated that every event we experience today has already been foreseen in our dreams. I have seen quite a few thing foretold about my future, but not many.

Here is a whopper:

The woman dwarf had features that, even in the dream, reminded me of someone. On waking I realise it was the dwarf woman who played the ‘medium’ in the film Poltergeist. Once in the room with her I felt more strongly I had known her for many years. She told me she was going to look in her crystal ball to tell me what she could see for me.

I am aware of the warm sexual feelings filling my lower trunk and chest. I realise the woman has never been made love to, and I feel compassion and love for her. I pick her up and hold her lovingly. I do not have an awareness of penetrating her, but the charge of sexual feelings flows into her. She transforms into a beautiful female and I know she will always love me - be a haven of love.

My beautiful friend looks into the crystal. It is not a thing made of glass, but a great dimension of mind which appears to open in the room, hanging in the centre of it, about eight feet across. She tells me I am already touching something that is beginning to happen in the world. My life will become involved in it. I will play my part - by no means a key or leader, but one which I will gain great satisfaction and love from.

The dream occurred in 1991, just as I was starting to get the website going and sharing.

Tony