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Author Topic: A very intricate dream  (Read 5269 times)

V

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A very intricate dream
« on: January 30, 2018, 12:26:53 AM »
Dear Tony,

I dreamt I was in a place like a university campus but in the middle of town, so more like a collection of buildings pertaining to a single university, and very similar to my current workplace in England [which I happen to have wanted to break away from, and gave a job resignation just a few days ago. reason being that I feel stuck and not growing, and this place has been like a home which I need to leave now]. I was very likely on a lunch break and walking around. Some bits looked like a town I’ve seen in dreams many times, and very vaguely from my home country. The sun was shining like in my home country.

around that place, the more I moved further away (but still close), the more there were some small cobbled paths looking like those of ancient small towns in my home country (something like “Bourg” in French, if that gives an idea). At the bottom of this cobbled path going uphill was a souvenir stand….selling souvenirs from Venice. Somehow I now am with my mother on a lunch break (but before I think I was wandering around by myself). So we start going up these cobbled paths in this little bourg but just next to where I work in this strange town

Then another scene, I sit on a bench with a girl named S, whom I never been deep friends and with whom I’m rarely in touch with. [Whenever I think of her in true life, I think of her as in: she’s been here in this country way less than I have, and she's from my home country, yet she’s now married with a kid and culturally integrated….and me have nothing at all and I even think of leaving. but she's also older..] In the dream I had been seeing a video on Facebook of hers and her husband singing on some stage like professional musical theater actors…that is, an amateur video by someone of them performing on stage as amateurs…but they were damn good, like professionals! so I tell her and she says, yes that was at the “x” (with x=name of a town in my home region). and I believe having said “do you mean at the theatre x in town x?”. This bench was on the seafront made of white stone, somewhere on a small little town very similar to the ones I used to go on holiday with my mom before we had tough times between the two of us. to our left, was a bench on which I believe my mom was sat. This girl,. S., was sat to my right.

At this point I believe my mom was wearing a dark green coat she was wearing very very often when I was a child, and whenever she went back to her home country, in more recent years.

Now comes the strangest part. It’s time for me and my mom to go back down (presumably to where we started in the dream), so we’re back to the bourg and the cobbled paths. These roads are uphill (now, downhill), but they somehow really look like Venice, especially the buildings (although I didn’t see them, but just the feeling, the darkness, the width of the streets, everything felt like Venice apart from the uphill/downhill thing) [Venice is a place to which we have a connection, and to which we went together with my mom several times since my father died. Since we had a tough time with my mom over the past two years, venice is perhaps a place that helped us reconnect a little bit].
So we need to go down these roads (and it’s darkish, not much sun anymore, and winterish). My mom says, as usual, “let’s hold on to each other otherwise we’ll slip and fall”. I say “no, precisely, we will slip and fall if we hold on to each other” (also, no recollection of whether it was slippery or wet, it didn’t really look like that). So my mom initially holds on to me, but then leaves me and falls. She falls on her back (I believe) and with her head pointing downhill (not sure). the thing is she fell and instantly her body started slipping downhill super duper fast, literally like a bob car in winter sports. I instantly throw myself on my belly and head downhill, sort of diving and let myself slip downhill just as fast. But she/her body keeps on being faster than me…and literally just turns every corner at each street and just goes on like a bob car, without ever hitting a corner or anything. Crazy fast never stopping. I don’t think this lasts long, but when I reach her (and I don’t know where we are, it’s darkish)…
…I believe I’m finally going to find her. Instead, I find a long and dark navy coat, very different from the previous one, a female coat but almost male…and i look for my mom inside….but it’s just a coat, lying on the ground/earth where I think I am now…and filled in with earth, inside the coat, the sleeves…everything…no head nothing………I think the weather is darkish/drizzling. A bit like in those movies when they show people in sorrow at somebody’s grave…that was the weather like.

I woke up from this shocking bit and then had a super disconnected dream in which my mom had a girlfriend on top of having her actual boyfriend, and this girlfriend looked exactly like the actress cynthia nixon (miranda from sex and the city). [i happen to always have liked and identified with that character]


This dream is so bizarre and disconnected and yet rife with detail I cannot make sense of it all! I sincerely hope in your help!

I haven’t been dreaming this lucidly in a while now, so I believe this dream must really carry a big and important message. I quit one of my jobs just a few days back, and feel liberated from hanging on to material things just to keep going - yet I’m facing what’s behind this, a lot of emotions and I’m sure this dream is trying to tell me something. I was also anxious about asking my mom to go back home for a while as I need a break - the last time I did I got a big drama. I feel I’m shifting out of a phase of my life and entering a new one, and it is quite overwhelming. It is precisely in these last few days of overwhelm that I had this dream.

Does my mom slipping away and me finding something else at the end mean that I should let go of the idea I have of her? Does it relate to my fear of her dying (having lost my dad less than a year ago)? And the exchange about holding on to each other otherwise we'll slip and fall? I'm quite shaken by the scene of the coat full of earth....isn't that what we'll all become? Why the coat? Why this girl on the bench and the dream? It's like my mom came to pick me up for lunch from the place i'm quitting but which was my home for a few years now and took me to see this girl and then coming back just slips away to...die? Become earth?

Oh I'm so confused, please help me!

Thank you!

V.
« Last Edit: January 30, 2018, 12:32:47 AM by V »

Tony Crisp

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Re: A very intricate dream
« Reply #1 on: January 31, 2018, 11:13:51 AM »
V – Your dream starts in an environment like a school, which suggests there are things in the dream that would be good to learn from. But then the lessons begin, for you are back in your past, but are also you were in the cultural background in which you were raised, a very important learning place.

The notion from the current popular mythology of reality is that we are produced by the combination of our parent’s sperm and ovum. The genetic combination is, we are told, the print of who we are. In fact Josh McDermott of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, and a team of researchers said their findings, described in the journal Nature, show that culture and your sensibilities are not hardwired into the human system by DNA, they may actually be learned by the culture we are exposed to and the people we live with. I would add language as a massive factor too.

So your mother is such an enormous factor in shaping you. See http://dreamhawk.com/interesting-people/animal-children/#Program

You say you want to grow, but in trying to grow you are facing what has been stamped into you at an early age through the national culture (a set of beliefs, attitudes, along with the positives and the many negatives that hold us back). See http://dreamhawk.com/news/there-is-a-huge-change-happening/

A shift occurs as you witness aspects of your past life, each with certain important things you experienced and learnt from. Dreams often place us in a past environment because of important experiences. These experiences often mark a turning point in our life. Only you can really know what the experiences were, and what changes they ushered in. So I would try to look at your culture you were raised in and see what blocks it has placed in your life. For example today's culture is full of ideas causing fear of death. For example you said - to...die? Become earth?

Things that have a beginning also have an end. Therefore the body dies, but you are indicating that you are your body. But how can that be, because many people lose large portions of their body – they may suffer a shock, but the person experiencing it is not half dead because half of their body has been shot away.

I know, most people think the brain is them, and so if that is destroyed they are too. But they or we are consciousness and science and our culture has not been able to say what consciousness is, so they cannot honestly say we/consciousness dies. I sometimes think there is an odd quirk in human nature that makes us want only one answer to any riddle in life. It is as if there can only ever be one right thing, one truth about anything, and everything else is thereby false. See http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/near-death-experiences/

I feel you are in the middle of trying to kill your mothers influence in your life. In the dream you chase after her. To quote from the entry Mother, “Hurting, burying or killing parent: In the example below Audrey’s height shows her as a child. She is releasing anger about the attitudes and situations her father forced ‘down her throat’.

To be free of the introverted restraints and ready made values gathered from our parents, at some time in our growth we may kill or bury them in our dreams. Although some people are shocked by such dreams, they are healthy signs of emerging independence. Old myths of killing the chief so the tribe can have a new leader depict this process. When father or mother is ‘dead’ in our dream, we can inherit all the power gained from whatever was positive in the relationship.

Seeing parent drunk, incapable or foolish: Another means of gaining independence from internalised values, or stultifying drives to ‘honour’ or admire father or mother.”
This is a move toward independence from cultural beliefs and parental influence; it does not mean you are hateful toward parents.

“One of the things I am seeing at that the moment about symbols and dreams is how beautifully they hold tremendous amounts of information and meaning. I am thinking at the moment about the soil, the garden – they are so rich in meaning. Whatever our forebears did, whether they were deceitful and lying or courageous and strong, whether they had honour or were cowards, whatever they did, and perhaps over time they did everything, their lives were the drama that brought us into being. Their lives have given us the substance of our body and our personality. We are the heirs of that drama. What we grew from is what they left us. It was the heritage from the past. In dreams this is often represented as a piece of land, a garden. It was the piece of land – is the piece of land – which you inherited. Whatever that land might be, whatever its condition, that is what you have. Whether it is beautifully rich with orchards growing on it, or whether it is covered in rocks and brambles, that is your heritage.

Bemoaning the condition or being proud of the condition doesn’t change it. The thing is to take up your tools and develop that land. Let us fertilise it. Let us honour it. We can make it rich. We can enrich it because it is the real stuff and has in it all the potentials of life. Because of that, as rocky or as thorny as it might be, we have all that we need. On that land we can let the tree of life grow.”

Tony

V

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Re: A very intricate dream
« Reply #2 on: February 01, 2018, 10:50:40 PM »
Hi Tony,

Thank you so much.

I am a bit confused about the meaning of the earth/land you refer to. Is it where I end up in the dream - an indistinct bit of land (which I cannot see, but just feel)...what I feel most is that the weather is dark and sorrowful. Is it an indication that this may be what I inherited from my ancestors?

I'm also confused about the fact that in the dream I did not kill my mother. She was holding on to me, then took her arm off me and started slipping down these cobbled paths. Does this count as me, as the dream projector, killing her/her influence off in the dream?

What has the scene with the girl and the video of her dancing have to do with all of this?

Thank you!

V.

Tony Crisp

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Re: A very intricate dream
« Reply #3 on: February 02, 2018, 10:17:11 AM »
V – Sorry, I tend to ‘go on’ a bit sometimes 

As I explore the dreams people send I find thousands of associated ideas; the sort of thing that happens when you enter the dream world with consciousness – not lucidity, for lucidity is often waking up in dream images that are symbols indicating something else. So I want to try to communicate these many links; but we cannot help seeing them as separate concepts, which is why they confuse.

I will try to explain – I saw your dream as dealing with you becoming independent – a huge and deep life process. Obviously that is my impression, and because of that I couldn’t help feeling all the associated links with independence – killing your mother, the ancestral ‘land’ you inherit from being your mother’s child, and the learning experience.

There is no hint of killing your mother in the dream, just the extraordinary slipping  away, but it might be a way to realise your attempt to stand aside from what you have inherited from your culture and your mother. I cannot help but see it as a universal thing we try to achieve to become a real individual.

Our ancestry can also link with deeply buried tendencies we have unconsciously inherited from the long past. Sometimes they point to the fate/karma we are dealing with – the difficulties or traits that arise in our life, that we cannot honestly see have been developed or collected in this lifetime.

Just as a fox cub ‘learns’ how to hunt from its parents without words, so we absorb the deeply etched negative and positive survival strategies of our parents simply by being around them. It is passed on for generation after generations. They never need to talk about it because usually the parents are unaware of it themselves. If genes come into it anywhere, they perhaps create the reflex response that instinctively draws in the survival tactics that perhaps even our parents themselves have never really been aware they live by. In doing this the higher animals learn what cannot be passed on as instinct, what is not ‘hard wired’ into them. This holds in it a tremendous advantage because ‘hard wiring’ takes a long time.
It is those forms of influence in your life I was trying to point to.

I can't find the connection with any video, maybe you can point it out to me.

Tony