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Author Topic: loved one's health issues  (Read 1035 times)

Monica

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loved one's health issues
« on: March 06, 2018, 05:08:36 AM »
Dear Tony

I've been thinking a lot about the importance of the subconscious info retrieved by dreams in healing processes, not just at an emotional but physical level as well.
So to say that it's an entire spiritual journey that, at least in my experience, deals with the universal nature of aspects of life, being love the one that sums up any and all of our individual quests. Right now I'd like to tell you a pair of dreams I had while taking care of grandma, an Alzheimer's patient who ended up in an emergency room last week because a heart issue that had went undetected until now (I think we have a mind "connection" since we share a lot of time together).
I took on the responsibility of taking care of her a year and a half ago, when I came back home after finishing school. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer like a decade ago, but she has remained stable so it was all of a sudden that got this bad... It's a painful, hard to deal with condition, but I've learnt to share with joy and optimism the time in her company. So it was really disturbing the feeling of the abrupt disruption of her otherwise "good" health...

The dreams don't necessarily have a clear relation with what was happening with her as I watched over her at the hospital, but they came as a switching on after a dream I'd like to comment apart (I don't really know what "type" of dream is when it feels like being awake, and besides it was a sort of "vision" which I'm not sure to call a "premonition" but in some way foretold the hardships that would occur some days after). Well, the dreams I remember I had the couple of days we stayed at the hospital were these: The first day I was sitting there, as if it was a classroom, lights up, and here it comes a boy that presented his final work the same semester than me; it's like we are taking a class, there are a few persons, including a female professor there, but it's also as if we're in an intimate space, so as to approach each other without caring who could watch the way we interacted. I'm sitting at a desk and after what looks like a very flirty talk, he comes and begins to kiss the back of my neck. I feel good and nice, but don't feel really at ease because a hungry anticipation begins to build, I "imagine" how good it would feel if he kissed my mouth that way but there's something that seems not "right" in wanting that... I just keep the image of his smiling face while approaching me but it all ends there. Then I get into an exhibiton space where "my paintings" are in display. there also is a classmate with whom I worked years ago, who's there watching and bitterly criticizing my "way" of painting... Saying it's no painting at all. I get some steps behind him and almost yell strong arguments to defend my work; and again a female figure of authority stands near me, telling me to appease my speech, because the work can -and will- speak by itself. In this part of the dream there's no insecurity as in the beginning, but a contained anger, discomfort, maybe. It's weird how these two characters come to kind of interpellate first a private, then a public way to "show" myself. Finally, I'm in church. It's just the same room as before but with some furniture to look as a dinner party with eucharistic connotations. A square table dressed in white, and some served food. I'm arriving and there are some other people, among whom there is a young girl I know, dressed in white and acting as the one in charge. I feel strange because she's not as I know her, she has a smile that simply doesn't look sincere. I'm offered to take a drink, and here it comes the most curious part of the dream. First there's a glass of very red wine. Then, she opens a champagne bottle, that I can also have a drink of. Finally, here it is a glass of milk. It takes a lot of thinking to know which drink I'll chose to drink. I'd certainly like to drink that heavy wine, which I think is "in the middle" between the exaggeration of champagne (what are we celebrating?) and the childish option of milk. And even though I'd had preferred the wine, I end up thinking I'd rather take the milk -and some cereal-, just in case someone there would be to "judge" me as pretentious, vain or even drunkard if I chose the others. But there's no final choosing at all.

Then a few days after I dreamt I was in a large laundry room that was also a painting classroom. I got near a washing machine and there it was a paper that hapenned to be the one I asked to a professor with a concept about my work. The thing was the paper wasn't actually that but an apron, written, signed and decorated in the professor's fashion. And it also was the "letter" with the concept I had asked him to write. I take a look just to notice some green patterns and then I turn my head towards the entrance of the place, and he comes in, very serious. What is noteworthy of this dream is the relationship with the figure of my grandmother, that I didn't knew but read in one of your posts. It surprised me because I wasn't aware of the symbol (apron), but my mind used it nevertheless. I must note the work I asked my professor to comment on was referred to my relationship with her. And coming back to my original worry, now she's very affected, she hasn't been well since she got sick, and I feel really sad. I used to dream what would happen next day with her, and she frequently spoke to me about the dreams she had as if they were things that actually happened...

I must say that I miss her a lot, I mean, her singing, laughing, repeating on and on the same thing, even her "crazy" ways... Though her memory was "lost", she was a presence, a company, the body of constant affection and caring (a reciprocated one). Now it's her who seems lost. She was in some sort of way the objectivation, the protagonist of my returning home and the regaining of all my familiar memories and now it's like an ending to something that I think that had a lot yet to explore... then I beg God for peace, because I know her condition have meant a suffering since the beginning, after all. But there's something in me (maybe in her) that doesn't want to let go just yet. I just feel it's weird when you have to begin to miss someone when they're still there...

Tony Crisp

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Re: loved one's health issues
« Reply #1 on: March 06, 2018, 11:00:14 AM »
Monica – I am going to only respond to what you said, “I know her condition have meant a suffering since the beginning.”

I believe this is a misconception that arises because we are taught we are just our brain, and when that is damaged and sick we are also damaged and sick.

I had wondered about that for a long time but became certain it was not true when I suffered a drastic stroke. My brain was badly damaged, my ability to speak was wiped out, and I couldn’t move and wet myself because of lack of control.

But from that point on I feel I was aware of what was happening around me, and what was said even though I couldn’t respond verbally. But an extraordinary and unexpected thing had occurred; I was in a state of wonderful and deeply felt peace. Gradually I realised what had happened and described it as existing under a ceiling of speech, a ceiling that cut out awareness of words, and so freed me of all the conflicts, decision making, and social mannerisms that arose from being lost in words and the thoughts that arise from them. I experienced it almost as a visual thing, this great ceiling above which was the complicated world of speech, and under which was great peace.

In that wonderful state of mind I looked at the faces of my family and friends and ‘read’ what they felt with extraordinary awareness. I could see and respond inwardly to the deep panic at their thought that I might be dying; the sureness and love in the face of death, the strange struggle between loving and holding back, and the tender presence. But none of that was shown or expressed outwardly. Of course, from their point of view I probably looked a mess, as due to the stroke the right side of my face, so I have been told, was still sagging. But I wasn’t aware of that – just peace and calm love. But I could not move, I couldn’t speak and had lost control of my body. My brain was fucked, but I wasn’t.

I want to say with great strength that the BRAIN IS NOT YOU – it is an organ that links you with your body and thus enables speech and movement. See this wonderful video which demonstrates the difference between the brain and YOU.
So I emphasise that the brain is a link with the body, and its damage does not damage you, but your ability to express. So when people are suffering Alzheimer’s, what we see is the result of the deterioration to the brain not the deterioration of them. See https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNZVV4Ciccg also see Signs of consciousness in People who are Considered Vegetative - https://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/signs-of-consciousness-people-who-are-considered-vegetative/

The brain is an organ that enables us to express through our body, but we are consciousness which can live within a body.

Most people feel certain their body is them, and are certain that their body is who they are. But dreams have a very different view of the body. They show again and again if anyone takes the time to record their dreams over a period of time that we all have a body, a soul and a spirit. The body is in constant change and will age and die. Dreams see it as like a car that we can use to get some necessary life experiences, but the driver can leave the car and the car does not define the driver. The soul consists of all the personal thoughts, decisions, likes, dislikes and memories of the person in the present brain – of this lifetime. It can be quite limited in its perceptions because we are only aware of only 1% of visible light and 1% of the range of sound – so we are really blind and deaf, and yet we are so sure we know the world and what it means.

The spirit is basically consciousness/energy that can enliven a body but is not limited by it, and can exist as bodiless awareness. So from the point of view of dreams you cannot die or be destroyed. Also in dreams – your inner life – you can appear as any form, any gender and any creature. But we are so sure we are the limited world we know through our senses, and we are trapped by this view.

Tony
« Last Edit: March 08, 2018, 09:45:37 AM by Tony Crisp »

Monica

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Re: loved one's health issues
« Reply #2 on: March 06, 2018, 06:50:29 PM »
 :o
Wow. That was the point that was missing, and there's enormous wisdom on it! Even though I've thought about it a lot, it looks hard to come to that ultimate realization. It's amazing. Wonderful, thanks a lot! (I guess my spirit knew even when I didn't, because I kept showing tenderness and peace and I've taken care of her with patience and loving understanding even when some people tell she's just "demented"). But having this translated to understandable words makes it all easier to grasp, so I won't feel discouraged and now I can feel more grateful and able to carry on with her, overcoming the sense of helplessness that sickness often brings to our lives. I do really bless the wisdom in your words, thanks!

Tony Crisp

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Re: loved one's health issues
« Reply #3 on: March 07, 2018, 10:25:15 AM »
Monica - To quote from my recollection of my stroke, " Also I knew what I wanted to express, but the mechanism of expression was now broken. In that wonderful state of mind I looked at the faces of my family and friends and ‘read’ what they felt."

My children, Leon and Neal were there so fast too. Helen, Quentin, Mark and my grandson Ruairi arrived the next day having travelled long distances to be with me, and other friends arrived too. Thank you so much for that. It still stirs me emotionally when I remember that time. So much obvious love and care was there and holding me in the world.

So Monica, your love and care was holding her. It stirs me to even say those words. You blessed her during a difficult time.

Tony