Screaming

[Omega]

I am walking a road in the daytime, countryside. Suddenly a convoy of military vehicles pursue me, it's very overwhelming and frightening, but then they pass on. They rise loads and loads of dust. Then I see a large owl in the trees and notice it has a distinctive green tint to its white feathers. I also see it has an orange emergency light on top of its head, the kind that would have a siren, but it's not lit.

Then the wind picks up dramatically and starts attacking me, it feels like it's carrying on the job the military didn't finish. It's so powerful and it's very frightening - especially because in the dream I have the knowledge that it has picked me personally. To be an individual singled out for attack, by such a force, is so overwhelming.

I start screaming at the wind to leave me alone, to F off.. I'm scared and exasperated at being constantly pursued. I wake with my heart pounding and full of a deep deep fear. (I wake weekly with my heart racing in fear, but often can't remember the dream or can't bear to cast my mind to try remember)

[Tony Crisp]

Omega – It seems there is a conflict going on between the armed forces and the forces of nature, and you feel as if you are losing.

But the wind in dreams is a deep natural force in us that moves us to grow; moves us in mysterious ways, so is spiritual growth, even if we resist it. You felt that it has “picked me personally”. But yes, Life has picked you personally to face the fears that have held you back from growing, for such fears are often created by childhood events that have terrified us. See https://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/change-adaptation/

The owl being able to see in the darkness of your own fear, is there to warn you of any dangers. But there are none, for its warning light is not lit. Its green feathers show it is a force of growth. By shouting F*** off you have deepened the wall you have built within yourself. See https://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/integration-meeting-oneself/#MyOwn

Also it is worth reading https://dreamhawk.com/dream-dictionary/masters-of-nightmares/

Tony

[Omega]

Thank you Tony

It's great to fight back for a change.

It's impossible to fight back, in dreams or life,  if you feel you deserve to be attacked.
Abusers always make sure you believe this.

It's impossible to confront fear, if the fear is, that you are utterly worthless..
and you think facing the fear means - that you will discover for certain that that is true..
..and therefore be annihilated. Eternal death.

for me, in life, in dreams.. starting to 'believe' I deserve more than pain and abuse..gives me a voice, to scream at the wind.

I think that belief is developing because my dreams have been showing to me, just how much pain and terror I've held inside. It was invalidated by others, I was in denial, but through my dreams it has finally gotten to speak, to be listened to, believed, which integrates a lot I was split off from.

[Tony Crisp]

Omega - True fighting for YOU is useful, especially in the waking world.

But fighting yourself?

Tony

[Omega]

..to find 'disagreement' with all beliefs that are 'life stealing'
A fight with myself, I need to have.
Same fight; within myself, with others who reflect it back, with reflections in my dreams..

Fighting against my true emotions has been the most damaging fight.
That fight is ending.

The new fight beginning, screaming at the wind, standing up to that which would steal my life.

[Tony Crisp]

Stand Strong.

T