As it's about the male figure again. I'll add last nights dream.
I am homeless, lying in a sleeping bag on the street. I don't feel ashamed, just glad the weather is good and I've a nice spot. A happy dynamic girl (like an acquaintance of mine) comes bounding by and holds out an ice cream to me, then whips it away. She laughs but not cruelly, only in a 'hey there are ice creams for sale' kind of way. I don't move, I don't want to lose my spot, they are hard to find. Then a young handsome guy comes and when he sees me his face just lights up. I recognise him, we seem to have spoken before, he takes out a stringed instrument and starts to serenade me, singing and playing expertly. He's French. I think, ah, wealthy background, no one plays like that without years of tuition.. then I see he's looking straight into my eyes like he's completely in love. He's kind, pure, humble, talented not a liar or conman. It's really an amazing feeling to receive that affection.
I try to look back, but it's difficult, I do, but I can't help feeling he doesn't know me and maybe he's just infatuated with an idea of me. When he finishes I hug him, now he is small, his head resting on my chest. Now a tall guy arrives who is paying me interest too, and the first guy starts to get jealous, it's stressful and I don't know where I stand within it all, or what to do. Also it's weird they don't reject me for being homeless..Now I'm in a large stylish empty meeting space with the tall guy. He is someone from real life who has the potential to give me work. I turn a chair around from being audience to facing the audience, I can do this, I tell myself, trying to convince myself my confidence won't fail me
Now I'm being questioned by women over some work I've done, their energy is scarey, I try to appear confident so they don't see me as an easy target, but I've had so many bullying experiences by women, I'm sure they are going to make my life miserable somehow. I don't know how to outwit them or stop it happening.. Now there's about 15 women all dressed in expensive clothes, talking talking, I'm quietly present in the background, overwhelmed by their intensity and alert to their competetive edges.
I'm with a girl high up in hills, she's showing me a neat small backpack she has, we chat about how helpful it is to have the perfect bag when you are travelling around. The bag is black, with pretty detail, maybe some gemstones sewn in.
Later I'm on a bus returning from a film shoot with some girls and Robert De Niro, the girls are all complaining about having to get a bus, Robert De Niro despite being the big star, doesn't seem to care about being sent on budget travel. I can see he's seen it all and done it all before. Though I wonder has he actually fallen on hard times, because in that case, he has no choice either..
