Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Author Topic: Sun in the rain  (Read 449 times)

Romanov

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 30
    • View Profile
Sun in the rain
« on: January 08, 2019, 06:06:45 PM »
Hi Tony,

I hope life is treating you well. Seasons greetings.
 
Writing after a long time, as mostly I attempt to interpret a dream myself. However this dream left me disoriented for the day. So I need an expert opinion.

It's the old house where I grew up. One of it's room was semi constructed, space for two windows had been left but no windows had been installed. Brick walls would show because there was no plaster, and the roof was made of corrugated sheets. I am standing on the ledge of these windows, looking at the first floor neighbours window and there AC. Later, my brother is standing there with me but then he gets down and leaves saying something I don't remember. From the same window sill I see a light grey sky with a perfect round, sun. It's windy and it's drizzling, I can see the rain drops in the wind going in all directions but amid all that, the sun is very much there shiny, and round.

Later my mom is sitting in front of the other window in the same room. She is saying something, and as I look up, I see around five unattractive men, walking in a file on the neighbors roof and are looking at me. I tell Mom, who asks me to ignore them, but I go and stand by a wall, away from the gaze of men, and listen to my mother talk.

Its a bright sunny day, and a couple with their children are standing in a bazaar or a road. The husband is ugly. And they have two children a girl and a boy. Apparently I am middle aged and ugly, and I am giving advice to the woman in the couple about child rearing. She is young, fair, pretty, and pleasant with red lips. She tries to answer my objections but I don't let her, I keep talking. And I think, why am I giving her advice, when I don't have children of my own?!

Please help. Thank you.

Regards
Romanov
« Last Edit: January 08, 2019, 06:24:46 PM by Romanov »

Tony Crisp

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3237
    • View Profile
    • Dreamhawk.com
Re: Sun in the rain
« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2019, 11:54:37 AM »
Romanov – An old house semi constructed is saying that a period of your life, and your development during it wasn’t finished. But although the scene is not good – the drizzle – the sun is seen clearly and is very round, suggesting your promise, your potential is excellent.

I am not sure of this, but I have the feeling the aspect of yourself that was not developed was to do with a strong influence from your mother. This becomes clearer in the next scene, “I see around five unattractive men, walking in a file on the neighbor’s roof and are looking at me. I tell Mom, who asks me to ignore them, but I go and stand by a wall, away from the gaze of men.”

Did you mother influence you to not ‘look’ at men and keep out of their sight? If I am right it makes sense of the next scene where you are middle aged and ugly. You are involved in thinking and talking about child rearing, and have to remind yourself that you have no children quieting the pretty young woman with vigour.

It seems to me about your own urges toward full womanhood are being quietened by the influence passed to you by your mother.

Tony

Romanov

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 30
    • View Profile
Re: Sun in the rain
« Reply #2 on: January 16, 2019, 06:03:13 PM »
Tony,

Your last sentence hit home with such force that it took me a while to absorb and respond to you. :o

My mother was a controlling schizophrenic, who wanted the lives of her five children to revolve around her. Suffice it to say she succeeded quite well, as 4 out of 5 of us are single, never having been in a relationship.

I am 46+, so very much middle aged and ugly. And I think this dream came as a response to my internal argument. I was thinking that I never had children because I didn't want the psychological issues carried to another generation, and how in some ways its a good thing.  But maybe deep down, I know its her, and its hard to forgive her, for wasting my fertility.

With much love to you

Romanov

Tony Crisp

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3237
    • View Profile
    • Dreamhawk.com
Re: Sun in the rain
« Reply #3 on: January 18, 2019, 12:30:37 PM »
Romanov – Thank you for that feedback. It is helpful to me and other readers in the Forum.

My mother wasn’t a schizophrenic, but she was terribly anxious that I would die because I was born lifeless. This led her to push ideas into me that resulted in years of sexual misery because she feared I would still die even at thirteen.

Such things cause an habitual emotional response, and habits can be changed – see https://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/habits/

Ugliness and beauty are skin deep. Some people who are skin deep ugly are often wonderful, living and wise people inside. They had to be to deal with the rubbish thrown at them. These people when you get to meet them are very attractive, despite their looks.

The trick is not to forgive your mother, that is hard, but in recognising the damage it still does to the way you live your life.

Many people do not realise that they have an inner mother equally as powerful as an external mother. You have taken in millions of bits of memory, lessons learnt, life experiences along with all the feelings or problems met by loving and living with your mother, and they are a major influence in your early life, and in a few cases the child never becomes independent from its mother at any age because they never outgrow the damage done. This is true even if your mother was never there for you – you still have all the memories of her not being there for you filed under ‘Mother’. The memories and experience we gather unconsciously change us and are not lost. It is part of you and is symbolised in dreams as a person or event. Such an inner mother can appear in dreams because you are still deeply influenced by what you hold within you.  The inner mother can also signify what has been received via genes passed on or ancestral influences. A man gives an example:

"It was difficult to find this forgiveness because I felt that what my mother had done was unforgivable.  Of course none of this was neatly rational.  The feelings were burning beyond reason, and could not be rationalised away.  But I could not ignore the fact that this was not, in the end, about my mother, but about myself.  My continued anger was ruining my life.  So for my own sake I had to sincerely forgive my mother.  This was not a fast change, and it was not easy.  But it did release me from the crippling effects of the anger.  And some effects of non-forgiveness in these situations are quite subtle.  One might, for instance, avoid success in one's life so that those close to you could never feel the pleasure or relaxation of seeing me succeed.  Also, the misery would spread out into the lives of those around me -- to my wife for instance.  Ripples upon ripples, and the world has enough waves of vengeance and bitterness riding through it already. 

After realising this I had a dream. In the dream I stood facing myself. The second me stood above on something, and was condemning me for not being as good a father as I might have been. Meanwhile I stood below begging forgiveness for all the wrong things I had done, and feeling terribly guilty and an awful failure. But gradually the funny side of the situation struck me, and I called out to the second me, ‘Come down from there, you fool. You’re only me condemning myself and making me a failure.’  When I woke from the dream I could see how true the dream was, and what a destructive habit I had. If I projected the feeling of being a second-rate father, my children would feel it and believe they were second-rate children."
 
I sent my peace and love to you - Tony
« Last Edit: January 22, 2019, 09:39:50 AM by Tony Crisp »