Aranlass – Yes, you are in the middle of a war, a personal conflict. But it is a secret, so has not taken control of your waking self, but like many secret traumas we have it is only viewing in your dream self which is aware of your whole life and self.
The conflict was probably caused a long time ago and was probably about a hurt you experienced by a man, most likely your father. It left an unconscious decision in you to hurt the man/men, for it seems the hurt was to do with either your childbearing function or an emotional wound of being left/deserted. Obviously they are just guesses from your dream events.
The mindfulness meditation was dealing only with one aspect of you, the light. But we are all dual in nature – the darkness and the light; female and male; waking and sleeping. Even Genesis starts with the darkness, and then the light was created. The Big Bang started with darkness, and it took 300,000 years before light began. So your dream was a balancing up of yourself. When you move toward the light it reveals things you hide in the secret darkness of your unconscious.
Tony