Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Author Topic: I don't want to lose Him  (Read 212 times)

Tony Crisp

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3200
    • View Profile
    • Dreamhawk.com
I don't want to lose Him
« on: February 04, 2019, 08:46:15 AM »
Hello Tony,
I hope you are well, that you are happy and healthy and enthusiastic about things ahead.
I am in a long distance relationship now; it's been over three years. I have been able to be in the same town as the man I love over the past two years, for months at a time. I just returned home two months ago after a 6 months period in the same town. These 6 months were beautifully punctuated by weekends together and seeing each other a couple of times a week for drinks or movies or an activity.
He is a filmmaker and so am I. During one time, I felt that he had been having a story with one actress (who used to be a friend of mine but whose selfishness made me step back and away from her)... I still am unsure what the nature of the relationship was...there were fights, passionate fights, and he would tell me 'we appreciate each other'...

The actress from his last film has been imposing herself, travelling with him to festivals, which he used to do alone. Her intention was to get close and ensure that he picks her once again for his next film. Which he did, based on 'she is showing so much enthusiasm, I have never seen such dedication'....I didn't interfere with that decision, although he had said another actress had done much better in the casting than this returning actress.

In my dream last night, I wake up, and am enthusiastic to find him; he was supposed to sleep over. I look for him, and it seems he left already. For some reason my mother is there and tells me she's been up before "Friday the 1st" what a strange way to give time / refer to midnight!

And in the dream, I'm upset, wondering why my mom was here, and thinking well, he obviously won't stay if she's around.
Then, we are at a bar, a busy bar at night. His friends are there. It’s his crowd. He’s there and he still hasn't greeted me. The new actress is walking out to smoke? While the older actress is walking in. they greet, the older actress comes to him places her hands on his face to kiss him and he places his hand between their lips. I am trying to take a good look and figure out what is there between them. I am peeking from behind a pole. I am unsure... I am upset he hasn't greeted me.

Sitting across him at a long table full of people, I lean over and whisper in his ear that I am very sad he left and didn't stay at my place till morning. I have to whisper because our relationship is 'secret'. Initially, he didn't want a certain community to know about us. He did introduce me to his cousin, his friends, etc... And then I have ended up seeing them less and less. The actresses don't know about me. For sure, the older actress doesn't know about me. And I asked him if the new one did....and he didn't answer.
I dreamt of the new one. I am co-screenwriting with him the next film she will be acting in. In the dream, she needs my help and as I am walking with her to help her out (we are on a film set it seems) I wonder to myself 'does she know who I am'.... I told him about this dream but he never answered.

We won't see each other before July. It’s pretty far. I don't know what attitude to take. I don't know if I should be blunt; I did write him a couple of weeks ago and ask him 'have you met someone else?' because during our skype chat he seemed not so enthusiastic to see me... and I wrote that to him too. He said he was feeling sick, and had a stomach virus. Which he had told me....but I didn't think that would prevent anyone from smiling or being happy to see someone they love.

My grandmother who is 96, now bed-ridden and in pain, smiles when she sees me.

I really love this man... I don't want to lose him. It seems I push men away and scare them... although that didn't seem to be the case in our relationship. He was calling me long-distance, and texting me all the time and now all I get is 'I'm tired / I am going out / I am going to eat ' as a response to when I text him. He replies and takes leave. Sometimes he takes leave from the morning, will write me saying 'have a nice day'.

Just giving you the emotional context, so would appreciate you telling me what these dreams are....premonitions? Jealousy? Or something else? I know you are busy but this would be really precious. I cannot seem to open up about all of this to any one person
Tank you Tony

Take care, May

Tony Crisp

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3200
    • View Profile
    • Dreamhawk.com
Re: I don't want to lose Him
« Reply #1 on: February 04, 2019, 08:48:25 AM »
May – The man in your dream is not a representation of him, to start with most people are often totally unaware of the experience they take in and how it interacts with them when we love or interact with someone. In other words because we memorise the feelings and responses we felt; and because we learn through our experiences, we are changed by them. The memories and the learning are part of you and is symbolised in dreams as a person or event. You have taken in millions of bit of memory, lessons learnt, life experiences, along with all the feelings or problems met by loving and living with someone and they are what makes you the person you are. Your dreams tend to put all that in the image of the past person when you are dealing with the influences left in you from the relationship.

Your dream to me tells a story told me by many women – a longing to be partnered by a particular man – but the man depicted by your dream is surrounded by many women, and he moves from one to another. He kept your relationship with him secret for that reason.

I feel that your seeking for the external man is not working.

Example: I dreamt of being with a woman who was desperately seeking a man. I was also with my own female companion. I believe the woman had been suddenly dropped by her man, and I and my partner were close and with her.

Still in the semi-awake state I tried ‘being’ the woman, and had a very clear response. I experienced being her, but was also me with experience of seeing into myself in some degree. I saw that the woman, like most of us, was a female creature whose instinctive drive was to find a mate. But she was not aware of this as an instinctive drive but as a personal feeling. As such she had become, like many women and men, lost in a huge web of personal ideas about whether they were attractive, sexy, with many complications about love, gender mixed with childhood unconscious traumas and the heartbreak all that brings.

I feel there is much truth in this woman’s dream.

Tony