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Author Topic: A Series of Dreams  (Read 830 times)

Tony Crisp

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A Series of Dreams
« on: February 25, 2020, 08:45:11 AM »

Hi Tony,

Hope all good at your end.

Seeking your expertise after a long time.  Just to put some facts here, so that the interpretation might be easier.  I left my job in advertising 7 months ago, because of stress, health issues and boredom. My mom's death two months ago was another big thing that happened during this period.  My relationship with my mother was rough, but her death has still been difficult to accept on many levels.  I am having disturbing dreams post her death, and I am not sure if all of these are inter-related.   

1. My elder sister, (who was Mom's care taker in her last couple of years) and I enter a white room, expectantly and excitedly. Its a bare room, there is no furniture there. We look around, and I see that even the paint/wall paper on the wall has been peeled and taken away by my mother and elder brother.  Then I am running around to ensure that my sister is alright and taken care of. When I get to her place, she is lying on a white bed with neat white quilt on top of her. Completely covered from head to toe. When I approach her, she removes the quilt from her face, and looks happy.  She has sparkling eyes and is wearing a teal coloured shirt. We exchange dialogue that I don't remember.

2. Its the old house, where I grew up. In the dream its still in its semi constructed state.  It has two rooms. The better room is occupied by a younger brother and elder sister.  And I am in the other less developed room. It has rained heavily and it has flooded the "better" of the two rooms.  The water is muddy. There is muddy water standing around the back of the house too. My elder brother, wearing white, goes to inspect it.  Somewhere I am trying to attract attention of a modern woman, that someone should do something about the flood, but she says what can she do?!  From the less developed room I see white, bright clouds have parted and I can see the blue sky. I can also see an orange arc (like a rainbow) on the sky.  I ask myself if its the sunset or is the sun is still out.  And I feel that the sunlight behind the clouds became stronger!

3. I am in my current apartment. In one of the actual rooms, I am changing clothes. My attire includes starched white trousers (that I wear in real life too), and on top of it, I wear a brown, loose, starched shirt, with long sleeves.  The end of the long sleeves has embroidered pattern with gold, silver and maroon. Kind of sequined. And its a design pattern that I never wear in real life. As I adjust the sleeves around my wrist, I realize the sleeves are stiff (like metal), and the end of the sleeves (the entire design pattern) has rusted and becomes dust in my hand.  Simultaneously, cracks appear on the peach coloured floor tiles of the room, and it gets so bad that one can see the dark earth underneath the broken pieces of the tile.  I am scared with the embroidery turning into rust, and as the floor starts cracking, I run to my sister in the lounge, asking myself whats happening? Mom wearing white is standing in the lounge too, more like a spirit than a human. But before my sister could give a response, I wake up.

Looking forward to your insights Tony.

Love
Rumana

Tony Crisp

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Re: A Series of Dreams
« Reply #1 on: February 25, 2020, 08:47:47 AM »
Rumana – You start by writing, “My relationship with my mother was rough, but her death has still been difficult to accept on many levels.” I think that in itself is worth commenting in, for I know from losing my father and then my mother without any negative feelings or grief that what you felt or still feel is most likely due to early traumas, unexpressed pain, things that were missing in your upbringing.
   
The truth is that that the person is dead and is out of your physical life, but we carry all the memories, hurts, unexpressed anger and even murderous rage in us. We usually blame our parent for what we now face, as I did for years, for I carried revenge in me for years. But it is us that hangs on to or hasn’t found a way to express it all. Fortunately I was shown a way to express my misery and pain, my murderous rage, my heartbreaking cries and tears before their death, so I was left calm. See https://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/the-healing-experience/ and https://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/abreaction/

Many people do not realise that they have an inner mother equally as powerful as an external mother. You have taken in millions of bits of memory, lessons learnt, life experiences along with all the feelings or problems met by loving and living with your mother, and they are a major influence in your early life, and in a few cases the child never becomes independent from its mother at any age. This is true even if your mother was never there for you – you still have all the memories of her not being there for you filed under ‘Mother’. The memories and experience we gather unconsciously change us and are not lost. It is part of you and is symbolised in dreams as a person or event. Such an inner mother can appear in dreams because you are still deeply influenced by what you hold within you.  The inner mother can also signify what has been received via genes passed on or ancestral influences.

The first dream: The enter an experience in your life where what you knew has been stripped bare – meaning you are feeling a great change in yourself. I am not sure but your sister seems to represent the aspect of you that is an example for you and is taking care to explain something to you. When people are lyingdown with a white sheet covering them it often says that the person has died. So the example is saying the you need to let your past self die because a new you is emerging through the great changes you are facing. See River

Second dream: This is about the changes taking place in your life. The place where you lived is the psychological and experienced past you grew up in and it is still being altered by present experience. At the moment it seems to you that you may be experiencing a lot of emotions that are causing you not to be seeing clearly – the muddy waters – but your dreams says that this will change and everything will be better – the sun coming out.

Third dream: This is pointing the way ahead. The clothes you wear show the way you see yourself, the image – self image – you have of who you are. Clothes can depict the stance or attitudes we use to meet other people or special situations such as work or danger. They can also indicate a period or phase of ones life when you wore those clothes, and so associate with the activities, problems, or things you were experiencing at that time.

Things in you are undergoing change, even the ground you walk on is cracking up – it represents the ‘ground we stand on’; attitudes and relationships we have taken for granted; everyday life; the past.

You ask yourself/your dream sister, “What is happening?” Death coften confronts us with great change, so seeing your mother in white shows a new view of the afterlife and of your life. Although change can cause some people anxiety, everything is shown as good. See https://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/the-healing-experience/

Tony

Romanov

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Re: A Series of Dreams
« Reply #2 on: February 29, 2020, 05:11:50 PM »
Thank you Tony.

I know I am confused, but I believe that murderous rage is better than actually allowing ourselves to become exactly our parent, without even questioning what we are becoming.  Her lack of compassion, one-dimensional attitude towards people, her own children and the rest of the world, is what I dread, and at the same time fear, that I have absorbed it so much, that I have become her. God forbid.  And on another plane, I feel guilty for not taking care of her more. As children we are just destined to be f***** forever.

There are times, I take my dreams too literally.  Till your interpretation came to surface, I thought the first dream was about my sister being hoodwinked out of her rightful inheritance.  And with my Mom anything is possible!

Since these dreams, I have had more dreams about shipwreck, car getting out of control, catching fire and turning into ashes in a couple of seconds etc. 

Anyway, I am trying to keep a stiff upper lip. Let there be light, for me and everyone else looking for it.

Stay blessed.
Romanov

Tony Crisp

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Re: A Series of Dreams
« Reply #3 on: March 07, 2020, 11:55:23 AM »
Romanov - I wish I could transfer some pf my life experiences that show ways through such bad places. Unfortunately I only have words.

But the dreams abot dreams about shipwrecks, car getting out of control, catching fire and turning into ashes in a couple of seconds - all are clear pictures - not of awful things, but messes you have ceated that can change.

We can work through the feelings. Here is an example: 

I dreamt was at a very large school. Looking around I came to a large gymnasium. Near the end where I stood was a diving board, about 20ft. off the ground. Girls were learning to dive off the board and land flat on their back on the floor. If they landed flat they didn't hurt themselves - like falling backwards standing up. I was sure they would hurt themselves and it was difficult to watch.  

This was dreamt by Des, a man in his forties. If we look at the themes we can see that it shows a learning situation for the man, indicated by the school. Although Des doesn’t put this into words, he is in the role of a spectator, so is observing something that he can learn from. He is witnessing something that he finds disturbing, and as we read it, sounds risky. The girls are in fact taking a risk, but learning to do so in a way that hopefully does not damage them.  

If we shorten this we can say the dream is about learning something linked with risk taking, about how that might be done without harm.  

This become clearer when we realise that Des had recently changed from being an employee to becoming self-employed. He was feeling a lot of anxiety about where his next week’s income was coming from, and how long he could last living in this new way.  

We explored his dream and he experienced the diving board as depicting the big jump he was taking into the unknown. He was afraid he was going to land ‘flat on his back’. In English this suggest loss of control, and being ‘on ones back’ links with illness or defeat. The girls, he felt, were his daring in taking his new step in career, and also his vulnerability. All this was easy for him to realise, but it didn’t take away his anxiety. Therefore we worked on carrying the dream forward while honouring his feelings – i.e. not pushing away any of his fears or resistances.  

Des sat and relaxed, imagining himself back in his dream, feeling anxious the girls might damage themselves. He changed the scene slightly by turning the gymnasium floor into a swimming pool. This shifted the mood from one of possible danger to one of fun or play. However, Des could not feel that he could export this feeling of fun to his work situation. Of course it would make it slightly better if he could feel the new step was fun, but this was not very believable to him, so was not useful.  

Then he had a urge to climb up on the board as one of the girls and dive off. As he did this he felt the full flow of his anxiety. Even so he managed to land on his back on the bare floor. So, like the girls in the dream, he climbed up again and repeated the dive. After running through this a number of times Des opened his eyes and smiled. He said, ‘It’s just a feeling. Anxiety, I mean. It’s just a feeling.’  

When I asked him to expand on this he replied, ‘When I dive off that board I feel anxious. But when I repeat it over and over I start to recognise that it is like a tape playing. The feeling doesn’t actually do me any harm, it’s just something that plays in certain situations. What I learn from this is that feelings don’t harm me unless I hold onto them. I can have the feeling of falling flat on my back and get up from it and take another risk. It’s okay. My anxiety isn’t a reflection of reality, only of how I feel. There is a big difference.’  

Tony