Seeking

[lotus989]

I have been recording my dreams for a little while and I genuinely believe in their power to inform us. However, in my dreams my husband often appears in very negative ways. In some dreams he is cheating on me, in others he is just being cruel or cold. I have twice asked my dream guides or my higher self before I've gone to bed to send me dreams that shed light on him and our relationship because, for some reason, I keep feeling that I can't trust him. In saying this, I want to explain that we've been together for ten years, he has never cheated that I'm aware of, I never catch him in lies etc., but still there exists this lingering doubt. The doubt is not merely about cheating, but perhaps his deeper moral character.

Last night, I again asked my guides to show me through my dreams whether our relationship was good for my best self. This was my dream:
I am living in a large old house with P (my husband) and I ask him about a girl that I recently discovered online who is an adult film star and frequents the same cafe that he occasionally works at. When I ask him if he knows her, he admits to me that he has known for a while and recently had oral sex with her. He apologizes, but says he is somewhat interested in her and intends to pursue her. I get very upset and verbally attack him and pull his hair and have a bit of a tantrum. When I am calm, I feel better, but still completely betrayed and saddened.
Moments later the police arrive and they are going to raid the house for drugs because they have discovered that P grows marijuana and has a large quantity of it. Another woman who appears in the dream with dark hair, whom we seem to know, sneaks upstairs to hide the drugs while we distract the cops with chatter and coffee. No one is arrested, but I wake up feeling dejected and, again confused.

What I'm curious about also, is how literally do you take dreams that seem to come as an answer to a question that you posed before going to sleep? Thank you, your guidance is so appreciated. I have been struggling with this for over a year and just discovered you website tonight after I woke upset from the dream above.

[Tony Crisp]

Lotus – In the first place it is very seldom that any dream states things straight out as in everyday life - even in waking life things are usually not that clear.

To get at the real meaning of a dream you have to enter into each character and object in the dream, and be them. Because dream come from a very ancient part of us that uses ‘felt’ things as a language of dreams. So you have to feel the quality of your dream people and objects. Try being the girl – the adult film star.

I am not you, but the first thing I have to say is that “I am not a real person, only an imagined one who is about sex.” She is an imagined one because she does not actually appear in your dream, but is a raging feeling in you. As such she becomes a target to believe in.

So the dream is a magic mirror reflecting you, your feelings and fears – so you see your husband in the light of a person with no integrity. Such feelings grow because you cannot ‘find him out’ and so your feeling, which you project onto him, grows, ruining the relationship, until he actually finds another woman.

If I am right, instead of projecting your feelings onto your husband, try seeing where they come from in you – usually parents or a previous relationship in which you were actually left for another woman so fear it will happen again. Try http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/acting-in-your-dream/

Tony