I want to post these recent dreams, to show the progression...
11/08 T was abusive to me behind closed doors
I was in a little shop, with AG. She is saying something to me about T.
I lean forward close to her face, look her in the eyes, and explain to her that even though T had good standing in the community and EVERYONE thought he was so amazing, "T was abusive to me behind closed doors."
With Ali or maybe someone else in the shop, I decide it’s time to get up and shake out a blanket I was wrapped in to fold it.
and
11/09 De-possession
I was observing 2 men, who were perhaps coworkers. They move and go to sit at a table, which is a small round table and maybe we are at a café. I seem to be close to and to the left of one man, I cannot see him clearly.
The other man sits facing him (and me) and I can see him more clearly. He is a very attractive young man, nearly model good-looking. The man to my right is older, and also attractive. He is doing or saying something intended to intimidate the younger man.
The younger man stands firm, he will not back down - suddenly what looks like a demon erupts from his body and merges into the other man – I don’t understand the dynamic of what happened, maybe the demon was or belonged to the older man to begin with?
Whatever it morphed into, was now facing me. What I saw was a big, round head, it was covered in big red…I don’t know, something like very large varicose veins. His eyes are bright and piercing blue. This image is VERY clear, very 3D, and I muse to myself that if I thought I was dreaming I might be frightened, and that it was a good thing I didn’t know.
Now I’m sitting at the table in front of the young man, and his face is terribly deformed. I’m trying to understand what is going on with it, it’s a surreal image…something below his left eye seems to be missing, and his eyes are strange. I move away and his face deforms even more, elongating and his chin narrowing. He looks like a burn victim. He is explaining something to me that I don’t quite remember, the general gist of it is that there was a time he was willing to pay any price to hide his face and his scars…I understand that the demon is what gave him his attractive appearance and was a sort of “sold his soul” transaction, and the price had become too high to continue to pay.
Tony, if you'd like to comment, feel free, although these dreams are pretty self-explanatory to me. I'm putting them out there because I think it's a good example and can possibly serve as inspiration for how much change can occur in a very little time.
The external changes seem superficially small, yet internally feel...wide, big, expansive. Colors are brighter, I dance and sing spontaneously...a coworker and I have had a very very strong mutual attraction - initially our exchanges seemed to me like immature expressions of dealing with the sexual energy, he would tease me like a 2nd-grader pulling a girl's pigtails and I would mock threaten to kick him in the kneecaps, lol.
In the past several days, something changed...I felt utterly relaxed and open with him, and we have been very affectionate with each other (it's acceptable in my work environment)...yet there is an affinity, the attraction no longer feels urgent or painful, and I no longer want to possess him or feel like I have to fight the pull of the attraction. My coworkers are more friendly and open, and seem more real to me, and I feel affection for them rather than distance or anxiety.
It seems so personal and yet...not. It isn't me, it is Being being 'me'...it is SO sweet!
Addendum - oh, silly me! I get it! This is what it feels like to BE in love! The real stuff, not the crazy-rush-high-on-adrenalin or i've-just-found-my-soulmate-who's-really-my-WoundMate stuff...and minus the agonizing anxiety, fear, lust, pain, shame, rage and obsession that all came up the last time I felt this way. Thank you thank you thank you you have helped me SO much this past year!!!!! Soo much gratitude and appreciation!!! If I could kiss and hug you right now I would!!!